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Meeting my boyfriend's parents for the first time!

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autisticstar
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25 Nov 2008, 10:12 am

I will be having Thanksgiving with my boyfriend, his sister, his sister's husband, his parents, and some people in his sister's husbands family. I am not sure exactly how many people are going to be there and I am really nervous.

My boyfriend said that in the past his mother didn't like anyone he went out with and ran them off. We have been dating for eight and a half months so it's not like we are rushing into anything; we are not engaged at this point. Has anyone else had a holiday meal with a significant other's family before? Any advice? I am just so nervous and could really use some encouragement. I have already met his sister and his sister's husband and we got along o.k. I made a reasonably good impression on them. I just am a little nervous about meeting his mother since it seems like she is someone who thinks that nobody is good enough for her son.



DevonB
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25 Nov 2008, 10:24 am

Relax!! ! Key thing here. Don't "try" and make a good impression, answer questions honestly, don't be too opinionated, and listen more than you talk. Don't make any comments about your boyfriend whatsoever, except to say he's alot of fun, and you respect him. Don't drink (if there is any alcohol, and if you are of age). Let the family be the talkative ones, and again....RELAX!

It may be uncomfortable, and alien, but just sit back and do alot of observing. Respond when spoken to, but keep it short and simple.

Don't go into anything personal (if asked), just facts (and don't talk about your diagnosis).

Just a few pointers. You can't be seen as not making a good impression then./

Good luck.



Javid
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25 Nov 2008, 10:57 am

^ good advice. Option B: Assume she's going to hate you anyway (which is what it sounds like) and don't bother trying to make any kind of impression. Don't be MEAN, but don't be nicer than is needed.


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Spokane_Girl

25 Nov 2008, 1:11 pm

Who cares if your boyfriend's parents don't like you. It's not like you see them everyday. I am not sure how she ran them off but I wouldn't let her get to me or else she wins.



pavel_filonov
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25 Nov 2008, 3:17 pm

autisticstar wrote:
I will be having Thanksgiving with my boyfriend, his sister, his sister's husband, his parents, and some people in his sister's husbands family. I am not sure exactly how many people are going to be there and I am really nervous.

My boyfriend said that in the past his mother didn't like anyone he went out with and ran them off. We have been dating for eight and a half months so it's not like we are rushing into anything; we are not engaged at this point. Has anyone else had a holiday meal with a significant other's family before? Any advice? I am just so nervous and could really use some encouragement. I have already met his sister and his sister's husband and we got along o.k. I made a reasonably good impression on them. I just am a little nervous about meeting his mother since it seems like she is someone who thinks that nobody is good enough for her son.


good luck with this - its a shame that you had to meet them for the first time on a big occassion like this. Its like two stresses at once. Oh well. Like someone else said, I would definitely say don't drink. I would be just be as polite and friendly as possible and if they thought I was too shy, well, who cares. Thats not the worst thing to be thought of as. I wouldn't get too worried about his mother's opinion, you're going out with him, not her.



Miyah
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25 Nov 2008, 3:42 pm

DevonB wrote:
Relax!! ! Key thing here. Don't "try" and make a good impression, answer questions honestly, don't be too opinionated, and listen more than you talk. Don't make any comments about your boyfriend whatsoever, except to say he's alot of fun, and you respect him. Don't drink (if there is any alcohol, and if you are of age). Let the family be the talkative ones, and again....RELAX!

It may be uncomfortable, and alien, but just sit back and do alot of observing. Respond when spoken to, but keep it short and simple.

Don't go into anything personal (if asked), just facts (and don't talk about your diagnosis).

Just a few pointers. You can't be seen as not making a good impression then./

Good luck.

I love your comment as I absolutely agree with you on this one.
AS, as you know, I have never had a boyfriend but I had mothers run me off because I wasn't good enough and wasn't sporty enough. However, be a cordial as possible and listen to them talk. (I am learning that one myself). And AS, I don't think that she is involved in his life anymore as she lives else wher and probably realizes that he has to make his own choices. Infact, if she doesn't like you, it's her problem and not yours. See, people are going to dislike you no matter what, but don't stop that from living your life and having fun with your boyfriend as he has been very good to you.