What to do with a matchmaker?

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andriarose
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07 Dec 2008, 10:45 am

I made a new friend. This friend happens to be a lovely charming guy (we'll call him Guy 1) who I think, well, I'm growing to really like. He's the first person I've really hit it off with in years, and I've had more than a couple people tell me he likes me too.

The problem is, he keeps trying to set me up with one of his friends! (we'll call him Guy 2). I don't know why. I barely know Guy 2, and he is completely not my type.

Guy 1 is always referring to Guy 2 as being so great and fun and better than himself. I'm wondering if maybe Guy 1 is having some kind of inferiority complex? Maybe I'm misconstruing this entirely? Maybe he enjoys playing matchmaker too much for his own good?

How do I get across to Guy 1 that he is the one I like? Why would he hang out with me, and apparently like me, then try to push me into getting with one of his friends who he thinks is better than him?



t0
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07 Dec 2008, 11:34 am

andriarose wrote:
How do I get across to Guy 1 that he is the one I like? Why would he hang out with me, and apparently like me, then try to push me into getting with one of his friends who he thinks is better than him?


This is easy: Tell Guy 1 that you like him. Be direct. If he tries to switch topic to Guy 2, tell him you're not interested in Guy 2 - you're interested in him.

It's hard to know what his motivations are - maybe he's just more confident than Guy 2 and maybe Guy 2 has a crush on you.



ValMikeSmith
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07 Dec 2008, 4:54 pm

Sounds to me like Guy 1 is doing Guy 2 a favor by trying to hook him up with someone.



Blatherskite
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07 Dec 2008, 5:15 pm

Yeah, just tell Guy 1 how you feel and that all his dreams will come true if he gets with you. Listen to your heart, it's what I do.



andriarose
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07 Dec 2008, 5:29 pm

ValMikeSmith wrote:
Sounds to me like Guy 1 is doing Guy 2 a favor by trying to hook him up with someone.


You might be on to something there. He does seem like the kind of person who puts everyone else before himself.

I'm just worried that maybe there is some reason he wants to push me away :(



ValMikeSmith
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07 Dec 2008, 5:52 pm

andriarose wrote:
ValMikeSmith wrote:
Sounds to me like Guy 1 is doing Guy 2 a favor by trying to hook him up with someone.


You might be on to something there. He does seem like the kind of person who puts everyone else before himself.

I'm just worried that maybe there is some reason he wants to push me away :(


Maybe you misunderstood what I was trying to say.
I imagined that Guy 1 is "charming" and his friend "Guy 2" is not,
so maybe Guy 2 asked Guy 1 to charm you for him.

It doesn't seem likely to me that a kind and meek person would matchmake for others.
It doesn't make sense to me that someone who finds you attractive would befriend you and then just give you away to someone else you don't know.
It sounds like it might be a setup for a mean trick or something.
I think Guy 1 is playing, what I think is called a "Wingman". (Helping Guy 2 get laid.)

I could be wrong. I don't know all the details of the situation. Seems odd though.



Hector
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07 Dec 2008, 6:14 pm

We all should hope that Guy 2 hasn't put too much stock into this. The possibility of this kind of situation taking place is one of a few reasons I tend to ignore matchmakers, but perhaps Guy 2 has realised this already.



andriarose
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07 Dec 2008, 6:37 pm

ValMikeSmith wrote:
It doesn't make sense to me that someone who finds you attractive would befriend you and then just give you away to someone else you don't know.
It sounds like it might be a setup for a mean trick or something.


I really don't think that's the case, but then again, I do tend to be the one who falls for the mean tricks.
I'm hoping as a bunch of postgrads we'd have matured beyond that, though.

ValMikeSmith wrote:
I think Guy 1 is playing, what I think is called a "Wingman". (Helping Guy 2 get laid.)


I think if that were the case, he'd probably have picked a girl who is social or at least sexually active...in other words, not me.

Hector wrote:
We all should hope that Guy 2 hasn't put too much stock into this.


I'm not sure if Guy 2 even knows this is going on.


I really don't think Guy 1 is trying to be mean, I think he's trying to help out both Guy 2 and myself. But I don't understand why. I know I don't give off the best signals, but I'm sure Guy 1 knows I like him. I really just don't understand the situation or why it is happening.