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hexbomb
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

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Joined: 11 Nov 2008
Age: 41
Gender: Female
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Location: London

25 Nov 2008, 7:43 am

Cyberman wrote:
Just what is expected of us? When we don't communicate all the time, we're assumed to not be interested. When we DO, we're assumed to be "too clingy." :roll:

yeah, you have a point, and its so true cyberman- the same is true for women talking to guys tho... i think theres a fine balance eh. ive had an uncommunicative boyfriend who may text once a week and ive had a clingy one who texts/emails every day. i think a balanced to-and-fro between both people every couple of days is best judging by experience and friends feedback.



JM2008
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: 11 May 2008
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26 Nov 2008, 11:33 am

Im Aspie and I get struggles on what to do during relationships. It makes me feel that really it's just difficult to cope with them. I was 20 and my partner was 17. Was only nearly 2 weeks ago this one ended. She said it wasnt working and wasnt all ready for this. I've not texted her or spoke to her since as I falsely accused her of cheating on me which she definitely hasnt done and I want her to know im sorry for it. I sent her a text almost every morning asking how she is n how well she slept. I don't really know what I do wrong in relationships :(



Cyberman
Veteran
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Joined: 24 Apr 2008
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26 Nov 2008, 11:55 am

ntchick wrote:
Cyberman, if a partner knows you are AS, and they don't tell you what is expected of you, then you need to let them know that that's what they have to do, otherwise they don't know either and nobody communicates and we are all miserable. Between incommunicado and clinginess there's a balance. Do your stuff, but take a break every now and then to go see how the other person is doing with whatever they are up to. Get yourself a timer so you don't get lost in the land of whatever you're doing and "forget" about them. I say this because my AS frequently loses time in chunks when he's doing his stuff. Luckily his special interest has changed lately from mobile phones to transformers so he plays with them while he's sitting next to me watching a movie, which is a lot nicer than disappearing into the computer for hours on end looking for phone themes or apps.

Thanks for this advice... I'll keep it in mind in case of the highly unlikely event that I'll ever have to use it.