The possitive effect of failing in love...

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Hey all Zane here,

I just wanted to start a topic out of boredom.

Here it is.

Any one who has every tried at love knows that sometimes we fail misurably.

I myself wouldn't say my last relationship was a failure but it certainly ended very poorly.

The last fight we had I called my Ex the anti-christ, so you can imagine how that went.

Passion is a crazy thing and saying things you do not mean but do mean at the time is always interesting...

Personally I say f*k a lot so to me saying f*k you never came as anything past an obvious sign I was frustrated and really was not int he menatl situation to speak educatedly (is that a word?)

I do not wish this to turn into a complaining topic so please refrain from personal attacks or stories with no point (aka venting)

Ideally I would like for older members to share advice with the younger members on their past relationship failures that ended up helping them learn more about themselves and the opposite (or same ) sex.

For me I find myself craving relationships for this valuable information so it makes sense to me that others might feel the same. I know as a kid I never understood that other people also were like me or had similar experiences so it seems like a great way to grow.

I will start with a list of possitive and neggative things from my last two relationships :

Possitive

1. I learned that sometimes lying is ok when it deals with questions on the illiogical level e.g. my ex asked me "If I lose a leg, will you still love me" I told her the truth that I did not know, she became upset. I later learned from other "NT" girls that questions like that are more about the sub context and not the actual contex. A woman wants to know she will be loved no matter what. Now to me on a logical level this makes sense, but in the moment it does not. So in this case I could have saved myself a night in the dog house by "fibbing" even if it was against my personal beliefs to lie.

2. I learned to listen. Now when I say listen I mean listen beyond listening. I learned to hear her as another person not "my girlfriend". I learned to see her as a friend and listen to her as an equal. Something even most NT's never learn.

3. I learned that when you become intimate with a woman their entire personality changes towards you and they become closer and more loving but also are much more emotionally fragile. An easy example is that my normal "jerk" comments that are just playful jokes "ha-ha, nice hat " become insults to her and personal attacks. (a very complicated thing I still do not fully understand )

the neggative

1. I learned that the more sex you have with a girl the more attached you can become. So when she breaks up with you it becomes harder to draw the line between "love and lust". An easy example is my last girlfriend. When my Ex and I broke up I could not figure out if my heart was hurting or if I just missed her body. (I ended up figuring out it was her I missed, but even now it is hard to know 100%)

2. I learned exactly why so many men drink because of women. (it is a painful thing)

3. I learned that break up sex does not exist. (at least in my case)

These are only a few things I learned but as I think of more I will expand on the ideas. For now this is just a tid bit to get the topic flowing. Let's try and keep this as productive as possible please and maybe, just maybe, we all can help our younger generations (and older) learn from our "mistakes".

-Zane

PS: Basketball 21 not Black Jack 21

Zane, this post is epic. The positive things you've learned from love are things we could all stand to learn.

Falling in love is great. I fell in love and it was wonderful. but it really hurts when you lose them.
I for one have not had sex yet, so i cant really comment on you're negativities of love lol
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