Coping with loneliness

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I've been single for 7 months now. At times it can be difficult to cope, and I am constantly trying to find ways to keep my mind off it. I keep telling myself that it is best that I wait for when the time is right, but sometimes that's not good enough. I really don't expect to find anyone in the near future, and I'm okay with that, for the most part.

I'd like to hear what all you single peeps do to relax and stay occupied when you feel lonely.

i don't know how much sympathy you're going to get here, i've been single for about 20 years. i try to get my mind off it but unless i'm super busy (so for aobut 6 months out of the year, when the rowing season's going on) it's hard to do, not to mention i'm a very obsessive person so when i start thinking about something that's interesting/important, i just can't stop thinking about it. i find working out helps me get rid of some of the aggression that comes with girl issues. when i was going through a rough patch with the last potential girl i'd go to the gym and row for an hour when she pissed me off, and it helped a bit, but overall there isn't a whole lot you can do for loneliness.

I've been single my entire life. I can sometimes take my mind off my loneliness by playing video games... at least for a time. In general, first-person shooters are good for this, because they're designed to tap into your survival instincts instead of your mating instincts. I avoid games which depict a lot of romance/sex.

Generally, the busier you keep yourself, the less time you have to think about how alone you are...

I too am single but am not complaning about it.

I was almost 30 before I had my vary first relationship,
when it was over I was alone for almost a year,
then I was in another relationship for almost 3 years,
now I been single for over a year again.
the ache never actually goes away,
its a burning hunger that always leaves you feeling starved as long as your alone.
the only thing that may help until someone new comes along (if ever)
is if you can find something to obsess over other then another person.

I recommend filling your life with other things, occupying yourself with career and hobby goals as opposed to relationship goals. It's been around 7 months for me too (possibly a little longer, but less than a year).

i never feel lonely for company. i resent company most of the time.
i do like to think with my friends about concepts, but i have no interest in bonding with them.
i have not many friends. my few friends are like "lackeys" who just hang on every word i say.
they are weak, and they go home when i tell them to.
they are like toys that can put themselves away in their remote toy boxes when i am finished with them.

i have not seen the characteristics described above much on WP, and i think in me it is a combination of a "neutralizing autism" (negation in my mind of other's worth because it is external to my subjective experience) with the defiance of "ODD" which is my comorbid condition.

people to me are like toys and i will play with them or put them back on the floor, depending on whether i am currently interested or not in them.

i feel most clear headed when i am on my own because the pollution of another thought train that hinders my speculation is unsavory to me.

i am so glad to get home to my empty house after a brain squashing time out at some party where there were too many sounds coming from idiotic voice boxes and it sounded like a terrifying bird screeching pandemonia

i do not want the desires and wants of another pushy human following me into my empty house when i breathe a sigh of relief to be home (and then feed the possums etc)

but i do need to be able to talk sometimes to humans or i will lose completely my ability to communicate.

but iam so happy that i am healthy and my wildlife around here is even now waiting outside for me to go and pet them and feed them.

lonliness is something that is extinguished when you realize that you are more like you than anyone you will ever meet.

i am going to an aspie group tommorrow. So i get to meet aspies in real life.
I am hoping to make friends because i get misunderstood by NT's maybe aspies be worse. I dont know. I am hoping to meet some one sexy

Sunshower is absolutely right, the only real way you can control your loneliness is through hobbies or working at a job. Why? Because when you're always busy doing something, you don't think about loneliness that much. One only really starts to feel loneliness when they have time to let their mind wander, to think about the "What Ifs" of life. Prolonged loneliness is terrible because you will find "ways" to release your loneliness and sexual frustrations, but it will NEVER satisfy you because you don't have what you truly need and want, love or at least a romantic relationship.

I'm credible to speak on this matter because I have been single 22 years now, much longer than a meager 7 months. So I know what keeps the feeling of loneliness at bay. If you work a lot, this works well because you're focused on your work as opposed to your loneliness. Hobbies are great to, like playing video games, weight lifting, exercising, reading, etc. Keep your mind occupied, and don't let it wonder Good luck

Ok, lots of thoughts here. This may be a long post but I'd like to think it'll be helpful to a lot of people.

I've been single nine years, only stoppage was a one month relationship, single 20 years before that. My only recommendation - the only way you can really chase it off is finding ways to validate yourself and your own worth to you. Hit the gym and bulk up, learn martial arts, get into a good virile hobby whether that's modding out your car, get a good degree so you have an income that gives you the ability to live well and with fewer worries, and hell - pick up three of four languages. Pretty much just keep pursuing new achievements and do whatever you can to reassert your own worth to yourself, keep the depression and any urge for self-pity as far out of sight as you can.

Odds are, and you have to admit this to yourself, with AS it will have absolutely no bearing on whether women take any attraction to you or not - our stoppages, or at least in my experience, have nothing to do with our social understanding or even how platinum our personalities are our aren't, we have neurological limitations which either limit our range of motion in effect display or at the very least put such leverage on our physical energy level to do so that we quite literally can't behave like the next guy overall and the exact places AS (or PDD-NOS in my own case) hits us are about the most precise and efficient strikes that neurology or genetics could take to make a person permanently undatable.

The issue of permanent singlehood among guys on the spectrum is something that people try to always chop down with common causes, which is all they know, but you have to realize also that your doing yourself a great disservice - once you've established what your absolute boundaries are - to continue bashing yourself for what other people guess at. That's one that I had to fight off for a long time. Weakness, not forcing myself to just man up, being selfish about my own life, being self-absorbed - the only reason I listened and kept reinventing the wheel for them is that a good part of me really begged and wished that they were right and that maybe I was a suprelative wimp, maybe I just had no idea what *real* trying was; I was still unsure of how absolute my barriers were and the tradeoff between pushing myself almost to nervous breakdown now vs. having horrid 'what ifs' plaguing me in my 50's was a no-brainer.

At 29 at least, I know better. Feels like I'm living in some sort of societally-created cocoon; have plenty of close guy friends (hehe, from the other side of NT) which makes life a lot easier but women have been and always will be an impass; they need something from my range of behavior that I can supply as much as a paraplegic can just get themselves psyched and angry enough about their own life to just get up and walk. I have to be fair to women, I would imagine that their needs are as inflexible as my inability to follow through on that particular level which it takes only an aspie to even know exists. The reason I talk so much about self-validation, its vital - vital for staying alive for the next 50 years and vital for me not to become some sort of bitter monster; the later is a sad thing, it can happen very easily, and even moreso its the ultimate form of victimization that society has in store for people like us - on realizing who you really are inside, if you refuse to accept that route, you have to find any way you can of chasing it away and making yourself feel no better nor worse in value than anyone else.