Is being nervous around the opposite sex sign of AS?

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SO what should I do to overcome the shaking so when it's time to ask her out I dont look dumb?

Try telling her you really like her a lot and want to go out with her, but you respect her too much to have sex with her before marriage. See if she hangs around after that.

No way Im using the sex word when I ask her out. That would freak anyone out. What about if I ask kathleen England out?

Just ask her if she wants to hang out and get it over with. If she doesn't....at least you can turn your mind to other things....you only live once.

I have never been able to impress a guy I was interested in I get too shaken up to make a good impression.

Once I couldn't think of a thing to say, so I just splurted. "I want to do socially unacceptable things to your feet." that didn't win me flowers and candy.

Well I will ask her out in a couple weeks. What happens if she says no? I might be mad at her and not talk to her.

Okay, here's my take on nervousness. EVERYONE, whether they're NT or Aspy, is nervous around the other sex. I notice, though, that guys tend to get it much, much worse than girls, because to be fair they're the ones who have to do all the asking, etc. Being Aspy isn't going to help much either, so that's me doubly screwed. BUT, here's the important thing, it CAN be worked on. All it needs is confidence that no matter how bad their reaction is going to be, you don't care in the slightest.

One of the exercises I've learnt to help on this is, if i'm walking down the street and a good-looking girl walks past, just go up to her (even if they're a complete stranger, it'll help in the long run. Just don't ask anyone who's obviously busy, or with someone else.), say something like "Hey, just to let you know you're actually quite good looking. See you around." and walk off. If she tries to stop you so she can speak to you, good job. If not, then at least you've gotten slightly more confident.

In answer to letsGoBlues, don't worry if she says no. Just remember that there WILL be others, and maybe she doesn't want a relationship YET. Don't get angry, just stay calm and keep talking to her normally.

Hope this helps. Cheers,

PS, almost forgot. Don't do this exercise to someone who's only in Year 8 when you're a 6th Former. Hell. Just Hell.

Being nervous around the opposite sex (or the same sex if that's your orientation) is just shyness/self-consciousness, not a sign of Asperger's syndrome. Plenty of NTs get nervous about this, too.

No.

I used to be, but after approaching women and talking to them enough, I stopped being nervous about it. A few people never were nervous about it.

This thread was last posted to almost three years ago. LetsGoBlues has been banned from WrongPlanet.net for most of the time since then. This relationship quandary is long since past.

Or you, letsGoBlues, love to compare women to birds, which is where "hot chicks" comes in.

Argh, LGB. *hides*

I am not as nervous as I was a few years ago. Just finding someone I am compatible with is the hard part.

Tim

being nervous around girl is NOT a sign of AS/Autism but it s a sign of insecurity .....and we autistic males are naturally insecure because we don't know how to react with girls

I agree 100%. I'm not particularly romantically interested in most women no matter how smoking hot they are. I really appreciate a good looking woman, but unless we are intellectually and ideologically compatible, we would bore each other to tears and make each other miserable. My ideal mate is a cute female Socrates .

That said, I don't get really nervous around beautiful women so long as I am not trying to woo them. I am a theater tech so I am around incredible looking actresses a lot of the time. Just this month I was sound designing a show that required the leading actress to have a completely invisible wireless mic. This involved me snaking the mic through her hair for one part of the show and positioning it on her bust line for the other part of the show. I even had to ask her if she was wearing a bra under her evening gown because that is a good place to clip the mic. I found that so long as I was completely professional, I didn't get nervous at all. Being professional does not get you dates of course, but it makes everyday interactions go smoothly.

It sticky situation. If you act asexually and professionally around women, they are more comfortable around you and normal interaction is easier, but then they don't really see you as dating material. I think that most people just assume that I'm gay (including the gay guys who hit on me from time to time). I have nothing against gay guys but I would much rather be with women. And so the waiting game continues....

From what I understand, nervousness in this matter is a natural thing.

Tim

I'm actually not nervous when it comes to the opposite sex. Since I'm a guy and love to give out hugs from girls so no I don't nevorus at all but when it comes to people of my same sex I don't open up to and nor do I say much of anything.