lets go back to being just friends

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That's what my boyfriend said to me when he broke up with me. I take it literally like we are still friends, but lately I've been thinking that he is just being nice to me.
We still talk online or on the phone and have met up since, but I think he is just forcing himself to talk to me to be nice. He doesn't really show any desire to hang out with me again.
So, basically I think the line 'lets go back to being just friends' is an NT's way of telling you to politely get out of his life.
Anyone agree?

Yes and no. It means, that you don't avoid meeting each other, especially in "shared" places like bares where you both are in regular intervals. Otherwise it can be quite stressful for both parts after a less nice breaking.

Another point abut this is, that mainly in the first few weeks after the breaking it can be emotionally difficult to see the former girl-friend/boy-friend. Especially, if there are still some emotions left or if someone fears, the other may try to restart the whole thing.
And he/she may have a new partner and want to hang out with that person a lot now and this new partner may not feel to happy about him/her hanging out with the ex.

But to be true: All my former girl friends used that sentence and I didn't see too much of them later on.

Things may relax a bit, if both people have new partners. This at least cancels the "restart" risk.

For a guy yes, guys usually stop seeing women they are not interested in and cutting them out of their life, unless their is a real genuine friendship their. Just ask him honestly - along the lines of "would you rather not see me or talk to me again? I'm ok with that, don't force yourself to be my friend if you don't want to be"

That's the best way to go about it, I'm sure he'll understand. Just take the high road and be more mature, and confront the issue directly.

Some mean it, some don't. I am friends with many of my ex's - but the ones who used it as part of the break-up generally were paying lip service to it. My former fiance, for example, made a big deal about saying when we split, yet displayed nothing but animosity. (I'm ok with that, now that I've learned what she was doing and the kind of person she chose to be instead.)


M.

Thanks I'll do that.

Agreed.

How do you know he is forcing himself to talk to you to be nice? What signs is he showing that gives you that cue?



I meant it when I said it to my first ex and we still chatted but I didn't come and see him all the time. I saw him twice after our break up and then I moved to Oregon. My mother couldn't understand why I was still seeing him and talking to him. I felt sorry for him because of the life style he had so he was the way he is now. But then the stories he told could have also been lies too.


When my ex said it to me we would still be friends, I am sure he meant it figuretivly because we aren't friends. he was hard to reach and contact after we were separated. Now we don't talk at all. I did take it literal at first and then thought either he was lying or he changed his mind. Sure he may have been an aspie but that doesn't mean he can't talk like an NT.

When we were going out he hid a lot of things from me, which he finally revealed after breaking up just to get me to stop trying to save our relationship. I just think he is doing the same thing - hiding the way he really feels about me. He also does ignore me a lot when we chat online.
But I will try one last time to hang out with him and other friends, and if he ignores that I will just back off.