The need to be together...

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Joined: 13 Dec 2008
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14 Dec 2008, 3:44 pm

I want to get a gf that i can feel close to.... But then I have this wonderful barrier that keeps me from being able to even explore that area of life out of fear of..... I'm not even sure what, its just awkward for me to pursue... Suggestions?

ToadOfSteel
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14 Dec 2008, 4:53 pm

None of us have the answer either...

richardbenson
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14 Dec 2008, 4:58 pm

Padium wrote:

I have this wonderful barrier that keeps me from being able to even explore that area of life

how is this wonderful? are you just trying to have a chipper attitude?

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Padium
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14 Dec 2008, 5:00 pm

its sarcasm, my greatest gift, and wonderous blessing that few people truly understand

richardbenson
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14 Dec 2008, 5:07 pm

Padium wrote:

its sarcasm, my greatest gift, and wonderous blessing that few people truly understand

oh ok. i get it now, :lol:

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ToadOfSteel
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14 Dec 2008, 5:09 pm

Padium wrote:

its sarcasm, my greatest gift, and wonderous blessing that few people truly understand

Like that'll be welcome here...

richardbenson
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14 Dec 2008, 5:11 pm

i love sarcasm

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Abangyarudo
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14 Dec 2008, 6:33 pm

Padium wrote:

theres no barrier except one you placed yourself. I know this seems overly simplistic but if you get over it you will be able to have girlfriends or what not. Currently I just got out of a bad relationship and theres already 3 women who are standing in line so to speak for when I decide I want to pursue relationships again. I'm currently not entertaining the thought cause of my thoughts on rebound relationships and plus during my relationship I didn't have much time to work on my hobbies and now I do so I'm more interested in that currently.

zghost
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14 Dec 2008, 7:03 pm

Quote:

Whoa, you are me. No matter how much I want to, I can't reach. This is how I figured out the austic angle in the first place. I don't know if it's fear, I don't really know what it is. Some days I can get closer than others, but it never lasts. It's kind of like everyone else is on a slightly different plain, and even when I'm right next to them I can't really touch them. (Well not literally touch.)
Suggestions, I don't have any, I'm still trying to figure it out myself.

Legato
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14 Dec 2008, 7:12 pm

There's only one solution:

Just do it.

It sucks giant elephant balls, but you must leave your comfort zone and do things that make you feel uncomfortable. You must eventually accept rejection and reject people in search of someone that's right for you. Just remember that if a girl rejects you, she was never good for you to begin with.

Padium
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14 Dec 2008, 7:24 pm

zghost wrote:

Quote:

Oddly enough, that is pretty much exactly how I feel...

anna-banana
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14 Dec 2008, 7:36 pm

Padium wrote:

zghost wrote:

Quote:

Oddly enough, that is pretty much exactly how I feel...

not just you guys.

I'm waiting for a better piece of advice than "just do it" because that I can not.

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Padium
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14 Dec 2008, 7:40 pm

anna-banana wrote:

Padium wrote:

zghost wrote:

Quote:

Oddly enough, that is pretty much exactly how I feel...

not just you guys.

I'm waiting for a better piece of advice than "just do it" because that I can not.

That's why I actually joined this site. I only recently came to terms with the diagnosis. Knew I had it, but could never accept being different and aware of the difference. And I am finally ready to move on with my life. Unfortunatly, AS is more like BS for a lot of that moving on, and in itself makes it difficult.

Abangyarudo
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14 Dec 2008, 10:21 pm

anna-banana wrote:

Padium wrote:

zghost wrote:

Quote:

Oddly enough, that is pretty much exactly how I feel...

not just you guys.

I'm waiting for a better piece of advice than "just do it" because that I can not.

I understand what your saying but the only way is to do it. Noone is going to tell you a magic way to be successful in interpersonal relationships and there is no way to improve but acutal pratice. In that way you learn how to read people (someone with as or hfa has a bigger problem with this then others) and through that you learn and I go through alot of girls who either aren't interested in me or are not compatible or I simply screw up with. The difference is I put myself out there.

Samara
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14 Dec 2008, 10:31 pm

i dont understand this. I am supposed to have a double dose of emotional regulation difficulties and being interpersonal because I was diagnosed with having autism, BPD and PTSD and I have been really close to some men. I have gf's what are good friends, what I am close to.
So why are the psych saying I am chronically and severly disabled in regards to emotional and interpersonal skills?
whatever that means exactly

Abangyarudo
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14 Dec 2008, 11:03 pm

Samara wrote:

if its any help to you they tried to say that in my report sad thing is I've had better relationships then most people and noone unless I tell them knows theres anything different about me. My Advice: A) Ignore them B) find a better psych

“All things are subject to interpretation whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.” - Friederich Nietzsche

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