must i always lead the conversation?

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16 Dec 2008, 11:56 pm

I'm trying to think of a time any girls I know actually led the conversation and am coming up blank. Not that this bothers me in any way. If it's convention, then I'll just deal with it. I just hate hitting a wall with conversations sometimes. I mean, this even happens when the girl and I pretty much have everything in common down to even these odd idiosyncrasies. When I talk to people I've got to be talking about something (i.e. exchanging information of some sort), and this is probably my Achilles's heel here.

For instance, why does it always have to be me who is the one to put the conversation back on track during a pause?

cman_yall
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17 Dec 2008, 12:11 am

They say a true friend is one with whom you can have a comfortable silence. Who are "they"? Don't ask me :lol:

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richardbenson
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17 Dec 2008, 12:15 am

cman_yall wrote:

They say a true friend is one with whom you can have a comfortable silence. Who are "they"?

good question

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sunshower
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17 Dec 2008, 5:18 am

I know what you mean roadGames. I am always the one who leads the conversation. But I think it's because I can't understand the whole "comfortable silence" thing. I'm only just starting to realize this. It's something that's there, that other people take for granted, but which is invisible to me.

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Abangyarudo
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17 Dec 2008, 6:46 am

roadGames wrote:

You don't have to but then you run the risk of the conversation going nowhere. Personally I don't do leading the conversation unless I am in a joking mood the problem is if you don't lead it the girl can do one of the following which destroys the conversation anyway:
A) Silences
B) talks about something they are uncomfortable with or puts them in a bad mood. (Some women won't remember they brought it up and associate it with you).

so personally in your case where you care about the other people and how they perceive you you should.

EgaoNoGenki
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17 Dec 2008, 7:41 am

I feel "Forced" to bring it moving again when there's silence; feels more deafening than a train rolling right on by.

MissConstrue
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17 Dec 2008, 7:55 am

I just start by turning the TV on.

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beef_bourito
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17 Dec 2008, 12:59 pm

i feel the same way, there are very few times when the girl is leading the conversation (at least when it's in a dating situation) and it does get a bit draining to always have to be the one to initiate/maintain the conversation.

roadGames
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17 Dec 2008, 4:24 pm

it's very draining, especially after you've already had several decent conversations with her, you know a decent bit about her and vice versa, and have covered all the "getting to know you" s**t. Perhaps it's because they're not attracted to me? I don't think so, because even if I weren't attracted to someone (100% of my male friends, lol) and had a good dynamic with them before, I'd still want to keep my end of the conversation going. It can't always be so one-sided.

ephemerella
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17 Dec 2008, 4:35 pm

roadGames wrote:

it's very draining, especially after you've already had several decent conversations with her, you know a decent bit about her and vice versa, and have covered all the "getting to know you" sh**. Perhaps it's because they're not attracted to me? I don't think so, because even if I weren't attracted to someone (100% of my male friends, lol) and had a good dynamic with them before, I'd still want to keep my end of the conversation going. It can't always be so one-sided.

Some people are expressing disapproval when they stop talking. They are being passive aggressive.

Some people are just dumb... or blank.

If there's nothing to talk about on your end or hers, maybe you didn't have much in common?

That's a no-connection-is-forming thing.

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