Women read body-lang 10x better than men? What do they...

Post Reply New Topic

...read in an Aspie??

(Original title; Unicode characters will not post properly on Subject: "♀ read body-lang 10x better than ♂? What do they read in...")

(Moderators, the subject allotment just constricts tighter than a necktie- the fanciest noose in the world. Please raise it to at least 75 characters.)

We do give off the wrong body-gestures, correct? Doesn't our body language mean differently from what we think?

So when an NT gal (or any gal who knows how to read a guy's body language) reads an Aspie guy, and doesn't know he has AS, what are her interpretations of these signals?

The fact in the subject comes from this source: http://relationships.blog-city.com/wome ... smells.htm

I can tell you that my body language has been misread by many women. They always seem to think that I like them, when that's the furthest thing from my mind. I'm actualy gay, but even before I realized it, girls would think I was flirting with them, when all I would be doing was looking at something interesting that they were wearing, or something along those lines. Also, I've had alot of girls get really mad at me for, what seemed like to me, no reason. I'm guessing I said something in the wrong intonation, or used incorrect body language. Anyway, that sort of stuff almost never happens with guys, or atleast not nearly as often.

thats exactly like me(not the gay part though)......girls always misinterpret my awkwardness or nervousness to mean that I like them. that in turn causes me so much confusion

That made me laugh. But yeah, I know what you mean. I've probably got it easy since I can just say, "sorry, you're mistaken, I'm gay." It's got to be tough not being able to use that as an out.

Is this science?

I guess maybe somebody's experience is different from mine.

Males don't like my aspiehood any more than females do.

IIRC no, it isn't science. The difference is much smaller.

I can't read body language for anything for what it's worth.
Even if I attempt to, I have no confidence in it.

Maybe aspies are better off believing this, regardless of if it is true ore not.

I've been called a robot for not having any readable body language. Being unreadable seems to inspire anxiety in many NT women. One described me as behaving like "Pinhead" from the Hellraiser series.

That's when I decided to take acting lessons. Now people "read" in my body language only what I want them to.

That sounds like a good plan if your body can afford as much.

My situation's similar in that I can't help but feel like I subtlely unnerve women, constantly. I have know-how in the body language and mirroring department but right off the top I'm getting behavior that I really don't want to mirror unless I want to amplify her anxiety as well. Also, physically speaking, half the time when I can't make eye contact with people and seem cold or distant its more or less the understanding that with eye contact (for it not to be a disaster) certain expressive protocol and body language has to be established and having to do it manually, like so many other things in this condition, means that if I'm having a day where my brain feels like chicken-fried steak (or like my hands if I've been in the cold for an hour and tried to text someone) - its a no go, then its the lesser of two evils, either make them mildly uncomfortable by vibing different or - the real truth here - have it all crack up, fall down, and show the all the wrong kinds of vulnerability.

I do know one thing though, its so physical and so much of a clamp down (ATP supply much lower than my demand) that I have a feeling unless they're able to supplement something to people with AS or PDD to actually behave as they themselves would choose (or at least those of the more physical neurotype) - I'll be out for good.

Have you considered getting involved in local civic theatre? Many hold free workshops for aspiring actors. Some municipalities offer low-cost (<$50) summer courses, as well.

I'll take any port in a storm!

same here. although it didn't give me the ability to lie on the spot

I was called a pimp in high school, and until recently, I never understood why (didn't like the title then, don't really like it now)... What I finally realized is that all the time in high school, women were constantly showing signs of interest but I never saw them. Others probably thought I was merely ignoring them, and this I got stuck with that as a high school nickname even though it's completely false...

I can beat a polygraph machine, but people are more difficult to fool. This can be used to your advantage, if you find out what "signs" give away the fact that you are lying, and then use them whenever you're telling the truth. After a while, nobody will be able to tell the difference.

It works especially well if you act like you're lying when you're actually telling the truth to some know-it-all coworker whose only career goal is to undermine your credibility and take over your job.

^^some good advice Fnord, thanks I read about that method of cheating the polygraph before but it never occurred to me that it might be applied to body language as well.

I shall go and practice