Is this usual

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My boyfriend who we will call jay is a 23 year old aspie. He is a loving, sweet , caring man who I wouldnt change for the world. We have a wonderful relationship and because of the fact that i grew up with an aspie mother and uncle I actually understand him ( well most anyways). I know he is his own person and the a.s does not define who he is just impacts some of the cards in his deck . One thing that I am having trouble understanding is when he is exposed to more social stimuli then he can handle his body and his mind shuts down and he literally freezes up. He cant talk and he can barely move.

He tells me that he hates it and the only thing I can do is rub his back and speculate that his body needs this so he can process all the events of the day.

AM I RIGHT? WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN? DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ANYONE ELSE? How can I ease my boyfriened when this happens to him?

Don't worry about it. Seriously, the more you push him or talk about it, the worse he will feel.

As an Aspie male whom this happens to, the best course of action I would want you to do if I were him, would be to ask him if he wants to leave (as in go outside or sit in the car or something) for a few minutes (with or without you, it's up to him) and let himself recharge before he gets back into the situation.

If he allows you to come, see this as a compliment and try to be lighthearted and make him laugh. If he wants to be alone for a few minutes, it does not mean anything negative, just that he needs to think and refresh himself, preparing for more.

edit----
ignore, it was too long and
i went off topic

That situation eerily mirrors my own problems with social things like that. Basically I do as you described Jay does, and my fiance will take me out of the situation and rub/caress my back until my nervous system basically reboots. I wish there was a way around it, but generally that's the only way to reboot me quickly.

Also works well for canceling anxiety attacks. I really have no idea why.

Yes, it's normal. I get like that almost every time I come home from work or school! All I want to do is crawl under the covers and let my cat snuggle with me. When we were still dating, my ex would rub my shoulders. Any kind of deep pressure will help me.

The best things you can do are to remove extra environmental stimuli (lights, noise, people, etc.) and don't push him to talk about it if he doesn't want to. Social and sensory overload are hard to explain and having to talk about it can make it a lot worse.

Your boyfriend is lucky to have someone caring and open-minded like you!

Legato said it really well. when that happens to me i often just go outside for some air. i usually don't get it as bad as some people so it's ok if there are a couple of people around, most of the time anyways, but don't be offended if he wants to be alone, sometimes that's what you need to get over the sensory overload.

I do this exact thing, too, but I don't get a back rub. My wife just gets mad at me for coming.

It happens to me on occasion, and really I just want to be left alone in a dark, quiet place with no people around until it passes. I should note that by 'no people' I actually mean no people, even people that I really like and almost always want to be around me. It's like a strange little snap in the brain and is terribly unpleasant in general, and more than a little scary. After a little while it'll pass and I'll be perfectly okay, though usually very tired and ready to sleep. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, it's about the only time I can reliably get a decent amount of sleep.

As to what causes it; on a chemical level I have no idea, though any overwhelming situation, usually with lots of noise and bright lights with a lot of things going on at once, can be the trigger for me.

This doesn't happen to me, but I have only been diagnosed with mild AS.

Yeah, I get sensory overload, although not quite as bad. I just kinda get this screaming urge to get out of there (usually when I'm in a crowded room) and try to get some air.