Why do some men cheat?

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Why do some men cheat on their girlfriends? I have had two previous relationships and the most recent one, my boyfriend at the time cheated on me with another girl he met when she came to tour our school. I hadn't seen any of the signs that he may be unfaithful to me, so this came as a shock to me. I also didn't and/or couldn't believe that he would do something like that to me because he was really sweet to me and showed lots of affection to me. I thought that I had found someone that truly loved and respected me and that I could trust. With my boyfriend from my first relationship, trust was something I didn't need to worry about because I usually knew what he was doing and hung around him enough to see that he was interested in me and me alone, that didn't mean that he couldn't look at other girls, he just paid more attention to me because I was his girlfriend! My second ex-boyfriend decided to end our relationship and continue dating the other girl he met when she was touring. I still don't and probably won't ever understand why he chose her over me. My rational was that we already go to the same school and he can see me everyday, unlike her who lives far away in another state. I mean I would be able to be there for him if he would need me and that's more than I can say for her because all she can do is call or text him, she can't be right next to him giving him comfort. As I am typing this I realize this may seem like more of a rant on her, but it's not meant to be, the question still stands, "why do some men cheat?".

I don't know, why do some women cheat? It's humanity in general... neither gender is guiltless.

For me it's because I can't say 'No' and also because women are my number one obsession and interest.

Too big a question to answer in one posting. Both sexes cheat for a variety of reasons, including discord within the existing relationship, a desire to show one's power, circumstances (i.e. right-place-right-time), alcohol, stress etc.

I am in a relationship with a well fit girl at the moment. She lives in Colombia and I live in the UK, so there is obviously a large element of trust. I find it difficult to be affectionate with her in the way she wants on account of my aspie traits, but I don't go playing around. I don't believe the most affectionate man is always the most loyal man. I think there are lot of men out there who will be all over a woman in the beginning, showering her with lots of affection, but who will just get bored in time because they enjoy the chase and chase after other women.

If your boyfriend really didn't want to be with you, then there is no point in asking these questions about why it didn't last. I have told my girlfriend that if I ever decide I don't ultimately want to marry her, I will break it off ASAP, because I feel this is the honourable thing to do. I don't approve of how many men spend ages in a relationship with a woman they know they don't want to marry, but they don't break it off because they are cowards, saying that they don't want to get married as a matter of principle. When the relationship eventually does end, they find a woman who is supposed to be a rebounder who they quickly propose to. It then finally dawns on the previous partner that he did want to get married, just not to her. Similarly, your ex saved you from a lot of pain by breaking it off to chase after this other girl, rather than having a long period of two-timing, which results in the relationship ending a long time later.

'Men' don't cheat. 'People' cheat. It annoys me when either gender will just say 'the other gender does this, the bastards/b*****s,' although the cheating one is more often levelled at men.

As for why they cheat:
1. Loneliness.
2. Lack of fulfillment.
3. Drunkenness.
4. Temptation.
5. A lack of self control.
6. Idiocy.
7. Opportunity.
8. Dissastisfaction.
9. Revenge.
10. Distance.

And millions of other reasons, none of which are justified.

This post is pointless, becuase the answer doesn't help you. The thing you are clearly really looking for is sympathy - and I'm sorry that you've been cheated on. Honestly, I am. People who cheat ARE bastards, and I know cause I was one of them once.

The one piece of advice I can give you is don't let it sour you on the gender as a whole. We aren't all cheating twats. Some of us are nice, loving, caring. And others deserve second chances.

It isn't cheating unless you're married.

That said, there are a few basic reasons why men cheat:

1a. Motive (Arrogance): They believe that they can get away with it.

1b. Motive (Loneliness): There is something lacking for him in his relationship with you.

1c. Motive (Revenge): He feels somehow cheated by the attention you spend on your interests.

2. Opportunity (The Other Woman): Other women want him. Unless you have marked your man as your property ("Band & Release"), any other woman looking for a man may feel free to latch onto him, if only for a short while.

3. Means (Environment): He is often away from you. He may be spending this time working, but it only takes a few minutes for a "quickie" in the stockroom or an unoccupied office. Don't forget those overnight business trips and seminars where accommodations are provided at corporate expense. Sometimes these accommodations include restaurants, bars, and nightclubs.


Means, Motive, and Opportunity. Remove any one of these and the 'crime' can not be committed.

Easy to say when you're married already, but isn't a popular opinion.

Indeed. Even if I am not married to my girlfriend, if I am unfaithful to her, it casts doubts on my reliability as a potential husband.

It's cheating no matter what the circumstances or official status of the partners.

An opinion does not have to be popular to be valid. I was single before I was married, so I actually know the difference firsthand - it is not a theoretical exercise for me.

Commitment involves more than just sharing an apartment, a bed, and a few bills. It involves more than just having sex three times a week. It involves more than just spending all of your spare time together because you can't stand to be apart.

Commitment involves both people being so willing to surrender their lives to each other that they are both willing to make a legally binding contract of co-commitment to each other, in front of witnesses, and with all the civil obligations and penalties involved.

Without that commitment, there is no legal recourse for abandonment, abdication, or multiple relationships ("cheating"). Any person living with another without a legally-binding commitment is still his or her own agent. He or she can walk out at any time, have sex with any willing partner of legal age, and even bring that new partner home, and the other original partner has no legal recourse to restitution.

At least, with a legally-binding commitment, either person has recourse through the civil court system, and that alone is enough of a threat to keep people together, if not loyal to each other.

Strictly speaking, any opinion is valid.

I've never met anyone else who has the same opinion as you, and it boggles my mind that you've managed to get married to someone if you've lived your whole life screwing whoever you want at any time. How exactly does one reach the point of this commitment when you spend half of your time sleeping with other people? And even if I was to buy into this philosophy, you'd struggle to find anyone else who did.

Those are your rules.

For me cheating is cheating no matter what. Married or not you are still a low life.

I think the question should be "Why do people cheat?" because women can do it too.

Commitment has nothing to do with cheating.

Threats, legal or otherwise don't keep people together.

This reads like much of the fundamentalist morality propaganda they hand out at those "Celibacy Pledge Parties" the churches have around here. Not that it's worth much. The 'failure' rate is about the same for those who take the Celibacy Pledge as for those who don't.

And, for the record, your statement is inaccurate. I have not 'screwed' whoever I wanted at any time; some of them simply were not interested at the time, so I might have had to settle for second- or third- level choices.

There are many of us who feel the same way about 'cheating' - most of us are still single, and at least try to have social lives away from blogging, posting, studying, and working. If 'cheating' on a boyfriend or girlfriend is a crime, then it is a crime of opportunity; and there is a lot of opportunity out there! There is no struggle to find anyone else who shares this philosophy; you just have to know where to look!

How does one reach the level of commitment I'm enjoying now? Choice, kid. You make the choice to commit - especially once you find someone who makes a monogamous relationship worth the effort.