I'm going to be hopeful/delusional and I hope it pays off.

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I've posted a lot in this forum, talking about my various troubles with finding love. And I've decided, the hell with it. I'm going to try and not despair about this anymore. I'm not going to write long ass posts about how horrible it is to want what I want from a partner, to need what I need.

I'm going to find who I'm looking for, or she's going to find me. It may not happen anytime soon, but it will happen. I'm not going to keep thinking that it won't. I know that it will because I know that it's possible. There is NOTHING impossible about the relationship I desire. The more that I think about the usual problems with people, the more I realize that they're not as much of a problem as I think. The more that I think about how hard it is to find someone who's right, the more I realize that there are people like that out there, somewhere.

I've complained about the fact that I want someone who is at least kind of gothic, or shares my interests in the macabre and has that wonderful goth girl look--or rather I've complained about the fact that such people aren't always easy to find in the real world. Well, that's okay, because they're easy to find online. I know many of them online. Sooner or later I'm going to find someone who I know, without a doubt, that she is someone I need to be with. And for that person I will not let locations get in the way. When you eliminate the boundries of location, there are so many out there.

I've complained about the fact that despite my love of goth girls, I don't like the ones that smoke or do drugs or expect bloodshed. Well, as I've spoken to more of them I've found more that aren't into any of that. They're not as common, but they're out there. And they're also more likely to share my tastes in things. (Believe it or not, even within the gothic subculture there is so much variety among the music that people listen to, for example, that it's not as easy as one would think to find those who share one's taste. It attracts many different kinds of people, and they all see the subculture in a different way, representing different things, and they all identify with different things about it. And I know for a fact that there are many who see it the same way I do, who identify with the same things in it that I do.)

As for my fetish for crimson hair, it's amazing how many goth girls I've spoken to who always wanted to dye their hair crimson and just never had an excuse, just never got around to it. Having a boyfriend with a fetish for the look seems like good motivation to them.

Most of all, I know that my writing appeals tremendously to the very people I seem most drawn to.

I'm not a believer in fate. I don't believe in anyone being "the one"; there's not one person out there who is my predestined "soul mate" or any BS like that. But I do believe in the ability of human beings to be diverse even among conformists. I know that, just as I am an exception among exceptions, there are others like me. Due to their rarity I have been slow to meet these people, but the more that I meet these individuals the better chance I shall have of finding someone right, someone compatible.

This is my resolution for the year: to not give up hope. To not despair. I will have love, someday. If I start believing it, it might come true. Scratch that. If I start believing it, it WILL come true. Cynicism is realistic, yes...but sometimes the world isn't. Sometimes things happen in this world that are just incredible, that defy everything you expect--and it was always possible even though it didn't seem like it. And always the people who made it happen stayed strong, hoping and hoping and not giving up their belief in themselves and in their goals. I will find love. I will find love. I will...find...love.

Still wall of text mate <_<

But besides that, just let things flow, dont think about it and dont stress over it.
Let it "go with the flow" and something is bound to happen

Good attitude.

"Congratulations...you've taken your first step into a larger world" - Obi Wan Kenobi

About time

Perserverence is key my friend

Nice to see you back and with a new attitude

-Zane

I'm still not sure if telling yourself it's definitely going to happen exactly the way you want it to is the best attitude to have here. I'm more comfortable just accepting that I can only try my best and use my best judgment, and beyond that it's down to how fortunate my circumstances are and I have little control over a lot of that. For example, either of us could die young, or just never find the right person. It's difficult to accept, but I find it easier to live with than being "delusional" and easier to deal with than just panicking.

If you look for love on the internet, great if you get to meet the person and it works out but it might not and there are a lot of things you can't really tell over plain text. This is coming from someone who was burned quite badly after thinking his message board charms had paid off...

It may only be a quote from a sci-fi movie, but it is one hell of an appropriate one here.

Good deal!

Couple of good science books to help you keep down this track

The Luck Factor by Richard Wiseman
http://www.amazon.com/Luck-Factor-Four- ... 370&sr=1-1

Mindset by Carol Dweck
http://www.amazon.com/Mindset-Psycholog ... 1400062756

Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman
http://www.amazon.com/Learned-Optimism- ... 319&sr=1-1

Hmm?

Good luck.

The power of positive thinking, you are well on your way to getting what you want.

These are very main-stream science books that talk about the "power of positive thinking" in a very practical and realistic way and show double-blind scientific experiments that back up the theories involved. They're written by some of the world's most respected scientists, not at all "hokey". So reading these is very different than reading say Think Big which offers much of the same advice but often "sounds hokey" to people because there's no science in the book to back it up. These books also rely on very good, practical science that's easily explainable instead of meandering off into the minutiae of dubious claims about quantum mechanics and the supernatural.

Thanks, guys. ^_^

That's the spirit! That kind of attitude is what's going to pay off.