Are all women so extroverted?
For some reason I have only dated "normal" very extroverted women (socialites, actresses, dancers etc). To do this requires a lot of work on my part and I can only keep it up for so long. I'm just now beginning to realize that may be a huge problem (I'm slow sometimes ). Even though I have never dated an introverted woman I have met a few that were dating people I know and even they seemed way more extroverted than I am. Even these introverted women were in social clubs or did something with friends on a nearly daily basis.
Are there women out there that could live like I do? I go "out" less than a dozen times per year and that includes family birthdays and holidays. I don't care for amusement parks, theaters, restaurants, and all the other stuff that normal people like to do. Not only are these activities somewhat nerve racking but I just feel like I'm wasting time. I would rather be doing something constructive with my time and that mostly means working on some project at home or learning some new skill. It's not that I never ever want to go out and do something, it's just extremely rare. My idea of relaxing is ordering some food and staying at home to watch a movie or something.
I have yet to meet a woman that could take that year after year. Do they exist? An introvert trying to find another introvert seems to be a losing proposition. I don't even know if that's a healthy situation but my past choices have not worked out all that great. Maybe I just need the right kind of woman. I mean, I don't care if she wants to do stuff all the time as long as I don't have to be involved. That can't be good for a relationship though. I don't know...
I hear ya. The odds are stacked against us introverts. However, I do know that there are women out there that are introverted and like to stay in. There are not as many of them as there are extraverts from my experience, but they are out there.
Well, I'm definitely not extroverted and I'm female, so no, not ALL women are extroverts.
I don't mind going to a restaurant if the food is better than what I could cook myself. In all honesty, most of the restaurants here don't meet that qualification, so what would be the point of eating out? Generally speaking, if I go "out" somewhere, it is related to a special interest or obsession. I have a weekly chess club that I go to (very few people attend), and Aspergian Mutant and I enjoy thrift store shopping and hitting yard sales to look for additions to our collections. When I was more active with my goats, I went to and competed in the local goat shows (and interacted very little with the other goat people).
Amusement parks, theaters, eh. Boring! Museums, now....
Hmmm, maybe I need to be making a distinction between introverted and anti-social. In which case trying to get two anti-social people together is quite a challenge.
And by anti-social I mean that in the pure sense, not these "anti-trendy" / "anti-establishment" wannabes that like to hang out together and crave social interaction as much as anyone
I've met few people I would class as "introverted" - then again, I'm not very good with deciding these sorts of things.
That said, there is only one attribute that all humans have, be they Aspie or NT - that is that we are all unique. So there are bound to be some women out there who are introverted.
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And by anti-social I mean that in the pure sense, not these "anti-trendy" / "anti-establishment" wannabes that like to hang out together and crave social interaction as much as anyone ;)
Speaking from my own life, it's a challenge-I'm misanthropic in general, but there are some people I consider exceptions. I don't like to socialize-if that means more than 1 or 2 other people in my environment. Not a loner, though-I enjoy interacting (one at a time) with the few people who are close to me. Having a "primary relationship" meets a lot of my needs, end up relying too much on being part of a couple. I'm introverted & agoraphobic, don't like to go out much but wish it felt more like a choice.
My interests aren't the sort that lead me to leave the house. I don't enjoy most active activities, and I'm miserable at parties so I avoid them. I like to sit & talk & read & listen & all that, with my SO. Unsure where that puts me on measure of "anti-social" ?
In the "how did you meet your SO" thread I explained how it was unforseeable & non-replicable luck that I've had the social/personal involvements I've had. Can't see a pattern in however I've managed to get myself some experiences.
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Ah yes I know what you mean. I'm not agoraphobic but I truely wish that I could go out and feel good about doing stuff. I definitly don't do as much as I would like. It's not totally by choice that I'm so anti-social. I mean I don't need social contact but I would do more just for the sake of someone else if it was easy. At the very least it would allow me to have a better romantic life which I often miss. That's where I am caught now and the reason I posted this question. I would like to find someone but at the same time I realize most women need a lot more socialization than me, or so I thought.
"Intellectual recluse seeks similar. Your ivory tower or mine?
Appearance important: please send photograph of bookshelves."
Yes, where do introverts and recluses meet? It's the "going out and meeting" bit that's the main hurdle, as far as I'm concerned. I've taken myself along to evening classes, for example, without much joy.
This all sounds wonderful to me. I'm "antisocial" in the way you describe. Not interested in social, at least not in the usual way. I very much like quality time (such as a good conversation about the nature of the universe) with a close friend, but I do not enjoy general social events at all.
I bet there are lots more of us here (women who could live the way you describe above).
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And by anti-social I mean that in the pure sense, not these "anti-trendy" / "anti-establishment" wannabes that like to hang out together and crave social interaction as much as anyone
Alright. But even then that what I said in my first posts still holds truth from my POV (for what it's worth.).
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