Everyone goes through dry periods and busy periods, and the media often gives us unrealistic expectations of how many GF's or how much experience we should have by a certain point.
Rest assured that like all animals, biology has a plan (and a mate) for you, and that you're already off to a great start.
One thing I remember distinctly was how much women (who generally are extremely intuitive and perceptive of these types of things) could tell from my own self-confidence, body language, and the way I handled myself what kind of prospect I was. When I was at my worst (unhappy, depressed, needy), I found the women who came up to me and started friendships were users, always dangling the illusion of a chance of something to get something they wanted. You can tell if women who are your friends are in that category if they only talk to you when they want something, even if they are very indirect about it.
Later on, when I had a GF, and was happy, was when all the other opportunities came out of the woods. When you're riding high, everyone wants to be your friend, because you are giving off this impression of being someone who knows how to get what they want, who is happy, stable, and doesn't need anything. Women (and men) like to be around someone like that.
Solution? Stop worrying so much, build yourself up, find some hobbies that make you happy, do things to stay social in a mixed-gender environment (like student government), and nature will take its course. The main thing is to make sure you are internally happy and continuously meeting new women. Also, work out frequently, both too look good and to burn off frustration and anger. It will also give you a nice testosterone boost.
Dating/finding a woman is just a numbers game, with only a small % of all women valid candidates for you to date. Don't get hung up on one out of the five women you met for the year -- meet fifty women or more a year through various means, and there should be at least 2 to 5 in that group who will like you and be mutually compatible with you in the same way. It's all about getting that big sample size, stacking the odds in your favor. Plus, the more people you meet, the more socially competent you get, and the better perspective you get on the choices out there. Just like the song says, you gotta shop around -- don't get sold on the very first one.
Take it from me, I felt just like you did, and like 3 years later, I was amazed how much things had changed. I'd also like to point out that as men get older, they also are more sought after, and gain a lot more relationship power, while women get more and more desperate the closer they get to 30. Women are probably never so powerful as they are from 15-23 -- after that, their priorities change, and guys who play it cool and build themselves (much like a RPG character) get the big payoff.
Be patient, it will come. Just prepare yourself now.
04 Jan 2009, 1:11 pm
