Style

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I wanted to give a heads up on this topic just because, I got to thinking about it and realize its a good thing to bring up in here. It seems like some people see the importance or value, others find it completely superfluous, many people I'd imagine are somewhere in between. BTW, I really hope this doesn't sound like pontificating - its one of those things I can't stand about my writing style but for now I'll just have to make the best of it.

What I've noticed about it, I never really had the specific wording to tack it down to but I think I've finally found it, its not only an artistic endeavor but the goal really is taking your attractive or unique traits and really trying to underscore them, bring them out. The part that I hadn't found the phrasing for is this - its the aspect of pretty much immersing other people in you. Your identity, your energy, its effectively making your nonverbal communication much more potent in capacity as an augment, in a similar sense to what a car or bicycle is to personal transportation. I could give countless examples of how NT's do this, its a fascination they have for good reason and when it gets a bad rap as tacky or narcissistic I think that's only when it applies to people who are tacky and narcissistic, plenty of wonderful people use it as well and it just makes them that much more fascinating.

On spectrum our biggest challenge, at least I *think* this is the case, is that we're unique enough as individuals that most of us never really had other people in our lives who served as templates; and I mean that on all kinds of levels, no one's like us enough for that to fit and we have to spend a much longer time identifying what we like or look up to in other people to identify our own desires, strengths, and virtues. The two topics tie in beautifully because if you still for the life of you can't figure out who you are beneath it all it'll also be a hell of a challenge to figure out how to dress. Good thing for us, if we really have to struggle with identity, have that much complexity, and are actually able to get it sorted out - that liability becomes a pretty big asset. Yes, money can be an obstacle but it doesn't necessarily have to be - you don't need designer brands, just the right colors, right patterns, right sizes, anything that helps to accent.

As a relationship's topic its also very important in the sense that anything you can do to be more attractive to your partner (husband/wife, fiance, bf/gf) it helps to make the relationship healthier by giving it more of the emotional and sensual bonding glue. Working out is important, having emotional resilience and being positive under conflict is important, and I think this helps out a lot in similar ways. Therefor, I really think its a worthwhile endeavor, for your self esteem and mine (confidence makes life easier and yes - helps hide neurological bottlenecks, anxiety on the other hand is very expensive) but also how it can help augment the flow of life for us externally speaking.

I doubt I need to ask questions as I'd imagine you'll all have plenty of thoughts to add, so, I'll leave it off right there .

Men, if you have cash, buy Dressing the Man. It is a good introduction. Me? I want a more technical book on how to identify and match colors. Ask Andy About Clothes is also great.

I think this may actually be possible for someone with Asperger's syndrome if they're able to find comfort in themselves and overcome some of their limitations.

IMO the essence of style is in finding clothes that are smart, fit comfortably, complement your body shape/size and which complement each other. Expressing your individuality is a deeper more subtle level of style and you have to fill the previous criteria first. Aspies are naturally out of touch with their bodies and personalities and how they fit into society so it's extremely hard to be stylish.

I went through a phase a few years ago where I was obsessed with fashion and I bought a lot of fashionable clothes but only rarely was I able to carry them off with style. This is one of the worst things you can ever do as an Aspie. If you dress too trendy and don't have the social skills to back it up no one takes you seriously.

For males like me, I find that properly fitting jeans, a t-shirt, and very short non-styled hair is good enough. Anything more or less "stylish" just seems to give off a vibe of either trying too hard or being a slob. And it's cheap as hell!

Yeah. I think for a while in my early 20's I had it easier - my friends were all ravers and it was just a matter of finding the more classy and played down Ecko, Rocawear, Enyce, Phatfarm, it worked out pretty easy to go with neutral colors and a nice logo. As life went on and all that kind of went away it got to be a bit more challenging and especially realizing that I needed something that fit my late 20's and early 30's. Still transitioning, think I'm figuring it out well enough though.

and yeah, really getting stuff that fits and enhances your personality takes some trial and error, if someone just lunges on it and doesn't figure out what works and why its not going to go well. I've at least got my business casual for work pretty well pegged, the rest of my clothing - its definitely not bad but I know I could do better with some time and focus on it.

I'm with you on this one, except that my hair has curls. I don't put that much effort into style/fashion - it keeps changing and I'd rather save my cash! Jeans, collared shirts, a bit of colour, no brands. That's the extent of it for me. Bruce Lee showed the value of 'style without style' - I think that can be applied anywhere

That pretty much describes me too. I still dress about the same way as I did in high school.