Do you find AS helps you in some ways relationship wise?

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I get this a lot from women who I know, pretty much all ex girlfriends, and even some men.: "I like you, you're different! You express things in blunt, and/or deep detail... It always has meaning."

I am often very blunt because I don't know how to sugarcoat things the way a lot of people would. I'm blunt, yet not to the point of making things seem awkward. The way I express myself requires a compassionate tone due to the bluntness of my words... And it seems to go a long way when I connect with someone. The only problem I have noticed is actually connecting with the woman at first, because not all assume you are a nice guy. But once that stage is passed I tend to excel.

So to put it in simpler words: I feel as if AS has made it difficult in mustering enough courage to talk to someone new, or someone that is considered more of an aqquaintance. Though, I find once we know each other on a certain level things go very smoothly in the abstract way I present myself.

EDIT: Really? Nobody else feels this way?

hmph... What happened to responding? Somebody has got to feel the same here, at least one person. Maybe I'm overthinking it, to a point where nobody can grasp what I'm saying?.. Shesh I don't know. I just noticed through past relationships I have excelled in communicating through being blunt, honest, truthful and also compassionate, many of traits which often come from my AS. I don't communicate like others, and it separates me from the other men who are typical in the way they show themselves. I am far more emotional(moreso I obsess), and connect with women in that sense.

Yeah I know what you're talking about.

I don't get a lot of girls falling for me but the ones that do tend to really fall for me because I'm "different" and "not like other guys". There some ways in which having as helps you in a relationship, it's just that there are other things about it that act against you're chance of getting in a relationship in the first place.

It can go too far though, when girls think you're just so special that they stop seeing you as someone they really love and start seeing you as the bloody messiah.

I'm a loner but the sense I get from those who prefer us is that they often come from a background of abuse and lies and they're looking for someone honest and harmless. With so many people from abusive/toxic families around, that's gotta look good for us.

God yes, I can relate to this and the original post. It's very unsettling.

I find my AS (well, to be honest, part of it is probably my appearance) tends to attract many guys to me. However, on the opposing end of the scale, my AS causes me to see the world differently (a.k.a. makes me weird), and I find that I am not attracted to any ordinary guys. For some reason, the only guys I've been attracted to in my life have been genius's javascript:emoticon(':?'). Very inconvenient when it comes to finding one (guys of that level of intellect are not common).

So yeah, I keep getting all these guys that I'm not interested in romantically. It kinda sucks, especially when other people are lonely and not getting people. I often feel (in a group situation) that I'm stealing all the available guys. I accidentally did this to my friend recently with a guy she was really interested in. I still feel really bad about it.

The girl I was referring too who seemed to think I was the messiah was actually my best friends girlfriend, turns out she was using him to get close to me. I still feel stupidly bad about that and my friend (who totally loved this girl) despite his denying this has never really forgiven me, not that I blame him

After seeing all the NT's who come here whining about their AS partners and how we all deserve to be alone, I doubt it.

If there was an NT who was madly in love with there partner and everything was going great they probabably would not feel the need to come and post on wrongplanet so the posts on here might not be an accurate reflection of real life.

But also I wasn't trying to make out that I'm some kind of stud who has to fight of women with a stick, it's just sometimes people have a higher opinion of you than you do and that can be quite unnerving. Like six a4 pages of love letters unnerving.

I calls it like I sees it... and I have yet to see any positive examples of relationships that I could relate to. There are some Aspies here who seem to be in healthy relationships, but that's because they have non-AS traits which help them.

I can't say I've ever been in a long term healthy relationship. But it's always me who f**** everything up.

oli234 - four pages? That's gotta be a record of some sort Sometimes when I'm talking to one of my male friends and they start complimenting me, they can't seem to stop, and it makes me feel really uncomfortable, like they're lying to me/I don't deserve the compliments. I've always had a lot of trouble taking compliments graciously.

I wrote something further but deleted it because I didn't want to depress anyone. Positive thinking is the most important thing a person can do in this life!

Yeah they weren't all at the same time, it took a few months to build up that portfolio.

But I'm actually guilty of this myself, when I meet a girl I really like I tend to over compliment them. I have to learn to bit me tongue. I think the problem is if you have you're share of insecurities and you meet someone you really like you think they're perfect for you, you think they're amazing so you want to tell them. But the thing is they're not really perfect or amazing, that's just how you see them, and if you tell them they are then they begin to think that you have unreasonable expectations of them and it puts them off.

And thinking about it, it's taken me till now to realize that I'm guilty of doing the same things that I complained about this girl doing. I'm not sure weather that makes me a hypocrite or an idiot or both. I'm starting to think that aspies are usually a bit smarter than nts (statistically, on average) because they devote too much of their brains to figuring out all this relationship crap, I swear neuroscience is simpler.

I know what you mean... I've had a couple women "competing" over me, and it ended up with one crying in public and CUTTING herself later when she was alone.. and they were bad cuts on her arms. She showed me a day later. She used a box cutter. I didn't even KNOW she thought that much of me, but the talks I had with her really sunk deep into her heart.. and I am apparently too good at cheering people up. It's as if my words are perfect for leading someone on, because it's not often you meet someone who tries to base their communication solely on compassion. It is not just my AS, though, it is also my general philosophy I have obtained through much reading in Buddhism.

Some times I've got to realize to hold back in some things I say, as they send out the wrong message to some normals... It is a shame. I wish I had a shirt that said "Just nice" in big bold yellow print on a black shirt lol. Maybe then people would quit getting mixed messages if I wore that everywhere I go.

With this particular skill I could probably be a great con artist, though. .. But I wouldn't..