The burden of being cute

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Cute... compliment or condescension?

I'm cute. I'm not going to lie. I know i'm cute. I'm short for my age, I have a young face for my age, I have young features... I am cute and have been for a very long time. This is the problem.

Everyone sees me as cute... not attractive, sexy, handsome, etc. just cute. When it comes to physical attraction... cute isn't it. Cute is that 6 year old that gives you the Spider-Man Valentine, or the teddy bear that you still keep with you, or the little puppy dog... but not a potential mate/sex partner. I hear those words a lot "You're cute" I heard it was used in reference to me, i.e. "he's a cutie" but when I hear it... all I hear in condescension. When it comes down to it... women don't want cute... and when they do... it's a different kind of cute. IT is a cute that is also coupled with a more mature aforementioned adjective.

Good cute: "mmmm.... he is so cute and fine."
Bad cute "awww. you're cute."

see the distinction?

So in summation, for all the cuties out there... i'm right there with 'ya.

Also let me say as a horrible double standard on my part I still refer to women as cute... but in my defense... it's the good cute, and i'm apt to use other adjectives when describing them.

According to poplar culture, women are "supposed" to be cute, while men are "supposed" to be hunks...

Guys have always told me I am so cute and I dont wanna f*****g be cute. I sick of being called sweetie. They say that but they really thinking I am cute like a f**k head. I am sick of people talking to me like a child. It is so patronising. Doesnt anyone ever understand who i amIve had it. No my mom treats me like still i am a child. She treats and talks to me exactly the same way she does to my 11 year old daughter. Even she thinks I am stupid. It isnt fair. Why do people always do this and then when I make an effort to be assertive, like I did with my boyfriend - he says it is my own insecurity. He was just trying to put it back onto me. He didnt listen to what I had to say and one other occasion he pushed me up against the wall to listen.

i think he is a jerk. If he isnt going to listen to me. I am not listening to him because he just wants me to think what he thinks and that is a form of control. When I was assertive saying 'no, i am not ready to move in yet' He put it back onto me saying 'It was my insecurity'

It was great at first - love at first sight we was instantly attracted to each other. He said, i was sexy and he loved my cheeky smile. He even wrote me a poem. It was like he really did love me but he wasnt considerate to respect my decision. Like I have to beleive, 'yes it is because i am insecure.' I started crying with the argument and then he was upset too and tried to comfort me BY reassuring what he said was right That made me so angry. I have been reading 'Love First' book and he shouldnt be so pushy. It is a warning sign and i think he might be a player. To act instantly in love when you first meet. He come on so strong. I texted him that it is over and he messaged back - I didnt reply and he has been driving past my place.

Last edited by BellaDonna on 03 Feb 2009, 2:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.

ah yes, the babyface curse.

there's an upside to it you know, I remember reading some research about how babyface-people are less likely to be found guilty of crimes.

fancy becoming a hitman/hitwoman?

i dont have a baby face but i'll wear an evil clown mask and take with me a chainsaw.

I have the same problem, It seems that I don't look adult or manly enough.

What's funny, that I have a bit hairy chest....

On the plus side, I think the adaptation functions a little like how non dominant orangutans do - by looking more child like, dominant males tend not to perceive them as a threat. I can I think more readily trigger nurture impulses in other people because of my childlike appearance. Mwahaha.

I've been told I'm cute but I hate being told that when I am mad or expressing my feelings because it means they aren't taking me seriously. Just what are they thinking?

i'm kind of in the same boat. i think i've got a cute face but i've got more hair on my chest than most guys. it's not excessive but it seems as though guys don't have any chest hair anymore (i know some shave or wax but lots will have just a little patch or very little hair) so i've got more than most guys i see around.

when i get thin during the rowing season my face gets thinner and i think that makes me a bit less cute and maybe a bit more attractive. i don't think i'm VERY cute or childish looking but i definitely look younger than i am.

A clown mask and a chainsaw... Sounds like good, clean weekend fun!

hehehe I am cute hehehehe

It's ok for guys to be cute.

Yeah, I've been called cute several times. It means that I'm effeminate as hell, considered "one of the girls" and as horrific to imagine as a date as a sociopath.

^Yeah you do look a bit effeminate.

Can't say I have this problem.

It must be tough for some of you guys....

^ meany.

My avatar, sadly, isn't actually me!