Do you think my friend is right about this?

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Jamesy
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05 Feb 2009, 11:39 am

One of my friends told me that if you have a crush on somebody you will most likely end up being with them romanticly etc...?

Do you think this is true most of the time?



Pugly
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05 Feb 2009, 11:43 am

In my life it has been a categorically false statement.


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makuranososhi
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05 Feb 2009, 11:43 am

No, I don't. Most attraction is unrequited.


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Jamesy
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05 Feb 2009, 11:53 am

What do you mean by unrequited?



makuranososhi
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05 Feb 2009, 11:55 am

Jamesy wrote:
What do you mean by unrequited?


Dictionary: Not returned or rewarded.

www.webster.com


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Jamesy
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05 Feb 2009, 12:09 pm

I suppouse at times your crush can see you as being a pest like an annoying fly, and personally for the individual who has the crush on them they feel like they cannot live without being with thier love interest.



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05 Feb 2009, 2:51 pm

is someone you have an interest in. Sometimes the person is attracted to you as well. But if they are not, it just wasn't meant to be and you hopefully learn something from the experience and move on.



kalantir
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05 Feb 2009, 3:10 pm

From my own personal experience, this has been false 100% of the time.


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Optician_Of_Urza
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05 Feb 2009, 3:34 pm

kalantir wrote:
From my own personal experience, this has been false 100% of the time.


What he said.


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benjimanbreeg
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05 Feb 2009, 4:34 pm

kalantir wrote:
From my own personal experience, this has been false 100% of the time.



Thats not valid. We need facts please.


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Aspie1
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05 Feb 2009, 5:02 pm

Jamesy wrote:
One of my friends told me that if you have a crush on somebody you will most likely end up being with them romanticly etc...?

Do you think this is true most of the time?

I think this is false most of the time, except for charming and/or good-looking guys. Then again, I can't really comment, since I only had one real crush in high school, and no crushes whatsoever since then. But I guess that's due to an important skill I learned almost as soon as puberty kicked in: stopping myself from feeling anything for a girl who doesn't like me. It took some effort at first, but then I was able to turn off my feelings like a light switch. So if I liked a particular girl, but found out she doesn't like me, my feelings for her would vanish completely in less than a few days.

The only reason why I had that crush in the first place is that I was under the impression that she liked me. When I asked her out a couple of times, and she always said no, any feelings for her just disappeared. But I'll give her credit for one thing: she made my crush last 6 weeks, the longest I ever had. My crushes, on average, lasted only 10 days (the time it takes me to find out that a girl doesn't like me). Needless to say, my NT friends find my ability to stop myself from having crushes very intriguing. They always complain how they like a particular girl who doesn't like them back. I feel compelled to yell out "then stop liking her", but also know that they don't have the ability to do that.



mitharatowen
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05 Feb 2009, 5:33 pm

Well.. I would say that nothing is ever really black and white like that. In my experience in life, the people I have crushes on usually end up having a secret crush on me too so it makes me wonder if my crush is actually more of like a 6th sense.. I can tell they like me so that's why I originally fall for them? I don't know its really hard to say. But I can tell from all of the unrequited love out there, that's not 'usually' the case as your friend seems to think.



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05 Feb 2009, 5:57 pm

Despite my mostly optimistic postings here, I would say that most crushes go unreturned.

It's just simple odds -- you gotta figure any given person is only going to crush on maybe 1 out of 10 people in their own age group . That means there's only a 10% x 10% chance of having a mutual crush -- .01, or 1 out of 100 (someone check my math here, but I think that's how you compute probability). Of course, the more people you meet, the better chance you actually have of hitting that 1 out of 100, but most of the time, you're not going to get lucky. Now, for some people, crushes are also dependent on other factors, like a feeling the person might like them back already -- in this case, you're preselecting your group, and the odds get better. I tend to crush hard on certain types of people, period (like cute Asian chicks), but if I suspect someone likes me, and they're cute, I can possibly develop a crush, and then the odds are more like 50-100%

Kinda rambling, I guess, but I just think that the odds with a completely random person tend to be very low, before other factors are added in :roll:



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06 Feb 2009, 2:08 am

Aspie1 wrote:

But I guess that's due to an important skill I learned almost as soon as puberty kicked in: stopping myself from feeling anything for a girl who doesn't like me. It took some effort at first, but then I was able to turn off my feelings like a light switch. So if I liked a particular girl, but found out she doesn't like me, my feelings for her would vanish completely in less than a few days.



Awesome....I thought I was the only one that could do this :wtg:

As for crushes...my experience has led me to think that the 10% of times crushes become more, it will almost always last only a few weeks in any case. You either find out that what is beneath the surface is not to your liking, or vice versa. A crush is not about falling in love, just infatuation and lust. You do get the exception to the rule though.


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DNForrest
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06 Feb 2009, 3:19 am

Like everyone else has said, quite the opposite. Otherwise I would have been dating Rosario Dawson, Jessica Alba, or Janeane Garofalo by now. There may be a few rare occasions where crushes follow through into relationships, though (possibly happening to me right now, but that's more of a fluke than anything).



DaLoCo
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06 Feb 2009, 3:24 am

DNForrest wrote:
Like everyone else has said, quite the opposite. Otherwise I would have been dating Rosario Dawson, Jessica Alba, or Janeane Garofalo by now. There may be a few rare occasions where crushes follow through into relationships, though (possibly happening to me right now, but that's more of a fluke than anything).


I am older than you, so by default I was dating Jessica Alba way before you.......stay out of my garden :rambo:


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