Aspie-Attachment...?

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Okay, so here's the deal:

Im a 21 year old male, looking for a nice partner to have a good relationship with. My diagnosis is asperger. My ''demands'' are like nothing, except I dont want someone whos overweighted, and/or someone who's ''shallow'' in her life.

Still, with these ''low requirements'', I can't seem to find the right partner... While Im defenitly looking for a partner/relationship, not a single woman (or guy for that matter, but Im straight) seems to catch my interest...?!

In a certain way I find this HIGHLY frustrating, since I really do look for a relationship... But why cant I find interest in any candidate then...? Could this be an ''Aspie-Attachment''...?

Please discuss this with me..!

I'll at least say something here since no one else has. I have dealt with what your talking about, seemed like it was maybe once every two or three years that I actually met someone who I was really attracted to and other than that very little.

What I think it is - deep down you feel or have learned that most people can't relate to you, you evidently aren't after sex enough to feel the urge to try and make things work regardless strictly for that purpose, you don't find most people's personalities refreshing and if anything you feel that much more alone if your trying to talk to someone who can't relate to you - which I'm guessing from your lack of attraction in this regard is most.

Just understand it for what it is. Your really trying to find someone who can emotionally and conversationally complement your personality. Your looking for a safe haven in a relationship rather than just getting a trophy. Its probably the smartest way to go about things (you won't be paying out alimony or child support with someone who you shouldn't have gotten drunk and banged or dated just because she was hot) but yes, you also have to deal with most of your friends trying to work intercession on you through your 20's, telling you that you need to lower your standards, telling you that you need to give up whatever it is that's holding you back and just get in the game for the sake of it - that would be all well and good if you were on their paradigm with things but, you aren't and you kind of have to ignore them on that.

Best thing you can do for now is just do everything you can to work on yourself and your future. As for women, what your looking for in a relationship is very rare to find until 30 - not saying it won't happen before that but its very difficult to find someone who's mature enough to want or even comprehend a relationship on that level at that age.

One thing I will add though - I doubt its aspie attachment, we're about as alike to eachother half the time as we are to NT's. Its more realistically the 'someone who's right for me' attachment.

Same problem, and I'm starting to wonder the same thing. This year I think I was only attracted (And I'm talking just attracted, not even a serious infatuation) to one guy.
I just don't get attracted to normal guys, for some reason. The last two I have been attracted to have bordered on genius, and one (not my ex-bf, the one that got away) has a lot of AS characteristics.

So this isn't only me?! My boyfriend's been being bothered by this - he's not quite understanding the only being interested in him. At 19 years old he's been the only one I've been attracted to at all. I don't understand what's different between him and others, but I just don't find others attractive. He also has a noticable amount of AS traits.

I do not think I could take the drama and other types of issues that arise and the complications caused between an NT and Autie/Aspie.

I have dated NT's when I was younger, married an Aspie (17th year & divorce) and do not want to be with a NT (Always an exception ~Murphys law). I would take the quirks of an Autie/Aspie over the drama of an NT any day. Being an Autie myself, I have my own quirks.

In a certain way Im relieved to see there are others who experience this, but at the same time Im sad for us all

I wish I knew where this came from, and maybe Techstepgenr8ion is right... Still, waiting to get at my 30s will probably end up in me becoming bitter I suppose, since I cant find any qualified partner for such a ''long time'', and the ''need'' is dire actually...!

But I do wonder, for the ones who experience it as well, how do you handle it? Does it greatly affect your life, or is it more like a ''I dont care'' matter to you?

When I was your age I was furious about it especially through my early 20's. Mainly I felt like I had a lot to offer but that the world around me was making the final verdict for me, wasting my life with or without my consent, I burned myself up about that for a long time. It also felt like my luck at meeting the right people was unholy - especially when I would meet them and have no time to work with the situation while anywhere in my natural sphere of life the right types of people always seemed completely absent.

At least for the past few years my friends have let up on riding me over it as they've found out the hard way a lot of the pitfalls I saw in the dating scene. Also, the real nice thing at 29 - it seems like when women hit their mid to late 20's they come online with the program, or you'll at least find enough to where you aren't stuck looking for the seemingly impossible.

good luck, you will (almost) never get a girl if you have "demands".