Anarchy99 wrote:
I have this problem now meeting women, or even new people in general. I dont know whats wrong with me, and i had no clue until i stumbled upon this website, after reading forum post after forum post, i realized that i might be Autistic.
But i wasnt always this way. In high school, i had no problem meeting new people, or being social, im not trying to sound arrogant or anything, but i was pretty popular, i was dating one of the cutest chicks in the school, and overall my social skills were pretty much intact. Now i have to say that i think most of it was due to the fact that i was always stoned. I smoked alot of weed in high school, like everyday, all day. I remember how i used to be, carefree, easy to talk to, pretty chill. I had no problem going up to a random girl and asking her out, or getting her number. I would do and say alot of things that most of my friends would be to scared to do. It got me in trouble alot, but it made me alot of friends.
After high school, i kind of got into some trouble and helped a friend when i shouldnt have, and was given a choice, either one year in the county jail, or i could enlist in the military and have my record wiped. I chose the military..
Now heres where my dilemma starts, after joining the military, i couldnt smoke weed, or do drugs anymore, and because of this i believe i changed.
I wasnt as sociable as i was before, in fact i became quite anti-social, and i still am, i find it hard to talk to women, i cant just go up to random women like i used to and flirt. Whenever i see a women i think is attractive, i end up haveing an argument in my head on the reasons why it would be a bad idea to go up to this woman, and how i didnt want to be like every other jackass thats probably hit on her.
When i go to partys now, i end up outside or somewhere other then where the majority of the people are. I feel really uncomfortable in social situations, and i try to avoid them as best as i can.
After this last deployment to Iraq, i went home for a while, and i smoked again, and it was like WOW, ii went to partys and i was right there in the middle of everything, talking to all kinds of people i didnt know, i got so many phone numbers, and i made more then a few friends, and before i left to go back to my Base, all the people i met threw me a going away party, i was kind of shocked, when i asked them why they would bother, they said i was a cool person, and i was fun as hell to be with. Needless to say i had a blast.
But being back in the military away from weed, it seems i reverted back to my anti-social tendencies again.
So my question for you Aspies, is if i do indeed have Autism, and smoking weed helps me with it, should i find a way out of the military and try to self medicate myself?
And please before any anti-drug person posts something, please consider my question objectively, before saying weed is bad blah blah, your brain blah blah, illegal blah.
Thank you for reading this, any input or advice from anyone would be greatly appreciated, you guys have a wonderful community here!
Firstly, may I say how incredibly stupid you are admitting to smoking weed whilst in the military and posting your photo online. If I were silly enough to smoke weed, I would not go broadcasting it for the world to see, particularly when doing so in the armed forces leaves you vulnerable to dismissal.
You seem to be the equivalent of a "dry alcoholic" and you would be well advised to seek treatment. You have been intoxicated so heavily over the years that withdrawal symptoms have lasted long beyond you stopping the weed. Intoxicants often have the effect of making people's personalities uninhibited, as seems to be the case with you. The fact that you are feeling much more inhibited as a result of not abusing substances does not make you an Aspie.
Talk to someone within the military whose confidentiality is assured to find out about treatment options and generally work out what your way forward is. I believe a chaplain would provide the absolute confidentiality you might wish to have. He or she might not be able to provide specific substance abuse advice, but he or she could hopefully sound out someone who will be able to advise you further in continued confidence.
I am not sure how much you know about the traits of autism spectrum conditions, but so far, you have supplied no evidence that you have it. Not having the confidence to approach women is not something that is unique to autism spectrum conditions. Maybe you are on the autistic spectrum, but you have supplied nothing in this post that suggests you are. Perhaps you should seek a diagnosis.
10 Feb 2009, 10:05 am
