Non-existant(except in your head) relationships

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Sometimes I think about Say Anything. The part I think about in particular is when John Cusack talks about his first date with the main female character. It was in a food court at the mall... at different tables... unbeknownst to her. They never even actually met until the events of the movie, but seeing her in the mall and eating at a table near her was enough for him. I do the same things to with people who I am attracted to.

I normally hate doing that casual "hi, how are you?" thing, or the "walking past you and saying 'hi'" but I do it with girls that I like and I do it gleefully. Even if I don't have any other contact with them... that little hi is enough for me, it's the closest thing to an actual relationship with them that i'll ever have.

So, like John Cusack, I have the date that was never really a date, the intimacy that isn't intimacy, the relationship that isn't even a relationship... except in my head.

if that's your photo, you should have no problem meeting girls.
how about print out some business cards with just your name, photo and email and hand them out?

if that's your photo, then no wonder you have problem with girls because you have an extremely baby face.

God, I know how you feel. I'm fifty and my early days were oh so difficult. Is that you in the avatar - look good to me. I believe being aspi throws up some uncontrollable reactions and difficulties for me. i can go to pieces quite easily - yet when I have my business hat on I'm fine. I cannot socialise and detest the company of others - oh well ..........

Meeting girls and getting to know them better is often linked to belonging to social groups, these 'vet' one another and give invisible 'okays' to each other allowing romance or sex to blossom. I'll not cecommend sports activities as I detest such things in any form. Cleverer people than me will advise....

Oh I know. we've discussed that before Mr. Hairy Chest.



But I wasn't really mentioning that situation in an emo venting kind of way way, more of a reflective matter of fact kind of way. Darn the internet and it's lack of ability in establishing context.

Yes, occasionally people seem to mis-read a post and go off down the wrong road.

I remember a girl thirty two years ago I was mad for. To her I was nothing, the chemistry was not two way and because my presence and manner and speech and gestures and vibe was all s**t I was forever to remain nothing. Every few days we'd be within a few feet as we passed by, I'd probably have the car outside my rented workshop space on the main street and wow - she really gave me something to think about when she walked past. I tried to be calm and cool tho to her I was nothing.

A couple of days ago I was very bugged when an extraordinarily stunning woman called at the house I go to get my hair cut at. I detest the hairdresser yet my wife prefers to go there. Point is, this stunner called, blabbed on for a couple of minutes and not at one point did her eyes acknowledge my presence or even enter the space I occupied. Like school forty years ago all over again. So - trained as I am not to ogle- I reciprocated her coldness and her refusal to acknowledge my presence.

I'm sorry this is a little bit off subject - hope its not too boring for you. It helps me realise that aspi boys have such great language difficulties - get me onto a favourite subject then I am really flying - yet for the shapeless formless crap that is called everyday life - we are sunk.

It isn't unusual for one to create scenarios in their head, to even feel an attachment to people based on the imagination instead of the reality of it. Yes, it can be creepy to some, but also does open some doors.

Don't fret about having a youthful face; contrary to opinion here, there is much more going for it than against it, especially as you grow older.


M.

If you're happy enough to say 'hi' to random girls you may as well say whatever else is on your mind at the time.

'How are you?' may suffice