Why can't there be a plan?

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I'm not sure how everyone else lives, but I've been trying to plan every step of my life since I was in Grade 8. (About 13 years old, so the last 7-8 years) I had a very good idea of what I wanted to do as a career. I knew what courses and what degree I would need for this career. I figured where I would live, work and how much to save. So I always assumed that this would be enough to be happy at this point in my life.

However, you can't plan love. You can't plan for the twists and turns that life throws at you when having another human being in your life. When I graduated from high school, I did not expect to start dating one of my good friends. She initiated the relationship, so I 'planned' on being with her. 8 months later, I was entering a periodic depression (I say depression, but more likely it is just exhaustion and anxiety. I need my alone time) She didn't want to put up with this version of me, and told me to never talk to her again. Again, this was something I could not have planned, and I didn't plan.

I'm still not at a point in my life where I'm ready to say that I'll be happier with someone, or happier alone. For me the problem with finding someone new is that I can't plan it. I cannot plan who I'm going to meet, who I'm going to be attracted to, who I'm going to love.

Something to think about...

Plans imply predicitability. That is, they imply logic and order.

Ask most NTs, and they'll tell you that love is the exact opposite of that. It is purely instinct and intutition, and anything could happen (anything goes).

Why this is, I'm not sure. But it seems to hold true regardless of whether you are NT, AS, or something else.

I suppose part of the allure is the very nature of love's mystery.

I think planning would just take the joy out of love anyway. Love will happen when you least expect it to anyhow. I have a friend who never planned on any love or marriage stuff until she was in her 30s. Today, she's engaged and the marriage is set for sometime around her 24th birthday.

I think people would enjoy the feeling of unexpected love because having a plan would just be a bore. It's almost like we're expecting all of those romantic comedy stories we hear to happen to us but we just cant count on those because theyre just cheap storytelling after all.

I like plans. I like predictability. I only wish life wasn't so darned unpredictable!