How to recognize if someone likes me?

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Hi everyone, here comes my first post: its about a situation that happened to me recently on a train, a girl entered a train and asked me where does the train go (to make sure shes on a right train), so I told her and she went away, after 2 minutes she comes back and says shes going to sit near me so we could talk and she doesnt like to travel alone (because the train was almost empty), she was very kind and smiling, so I smiled back at her (no need to mention that behind that I was actually nervous, afraid that I would say something completely weird, my heart started pounding, I started sweating... and other stuff that happens to me when I think that a girl likes me). So she asked me something casual, normal, something like "where are you going to?". And I started talking about myself, work, city where she was going to... it wasn't good, I messed it up, I still wasn't aware of the give and take cycle which is the only normal pattern in small-talk, but I found that out just a couple of days ago - but that is less important (unfortunately I'm used to the fact that I always mess up conversations). I would like to know if that girl actually liked me and wanted me to approach her (because she was really kind, she was smiling a lot, and something like that never happened to me before although I travel by train every day) or she really just didnt want to travel alone?

A lot of people like company. I wouldn't read too much into her wanting someone to talk to. Just realise that you could benefit from trying to be more of an active listener.

Sometimes people just like to do small chitchat. If she was just talking and smiling she might have just been trying to be friendly.

[quote=ivan84]I would like to know if that girl actually liked me and wanted me to approach her (because she was really kind, she was smiling a lot, and something like that never happened to me before although I travel by train every day) or she really just didnt want to travel alone?[/quote]

It's difficult to say what her motivation was. She might have been attracted to you, and might have wanted to exchange numbers and so on.

Another possibility - and I don't mean to rain on your parade here - is that maybe she felt unsafe travelling on an almost empty train, or maybe when she was looking for a seat she saw someone or some people who looked a bit dodgy and maybe made her feel unsafe, so she remembered you.

Either way, I guess it's quite flattering for you. Maybe she did genuinely find you attractive and was hoping you might ask for her number. Or maybe she felt a bit nervous and unsafe and she thought that you looked friendly and approachable and she felt safe approaching you and talking with you. (I don't know where you live, or what time of day or night you were travelling on this train, but there have been instances of single women travellers being attacked on trains, and because of this many women passengers will be wary of being in an empty carriage where there's no one around to see what might happen to them, so they will prefer to sit near other people, but not near people who they feel threatened by, if they're feeling vulnerable they'll only want to sit near people who seem friendly and approachable and non-threatening.)

The fact that she was smiling a lot could indicate she was interested. But as someone else said, maybe you need to work on listening more? If you see her again on the train, I'd suggest just smiling at her and waiting for her to approach you again, or maybe asking her if she minds you joining her and talking with her again, and you'll be able to better judge the situation depending on her reaction. It might have been a one-off chat to a stranger, but if you see her and talk to her again, maybe make a light-hearted comment about the time flying by on the last journey so quickly that you told her a bit about yourself but ran out of time to ask about her. And then let her do the talking, ask her questions about what she does and stuff.

If you do get to see her and talk to her again, you can always ask her for her phone number. And if you don't see her again, you can always have the memory of a train journey brightened up by a conversation with a stranger, sometimes that's enough, just one of those random kindnesses that relieve the boredom and tedium and leave you with a smile.

I travelled a lot by train and bus when I was a student. But sometimes people just talk to you because they like to. Otherwise I would have attracted a lot of men and old people
Some people like talking to other people for some reason.

Maybe she liked you, but then you will probably meet her again (and again).

Nice that you had a good conversation.

Gee, aren't I the popular one...

First of all, thanks everyone for their answers, I appreciate it very much. You really are a bunch of kind and supportive people. I can't say that I ever got so much answers when I posted anything on NT forums, although I don't like to make a difference between aspies and NTs, we're all equally valuable people,only difference is some of us have impaired communication skills.

Two words... body language

I don't know much about this site below but there are some handy tips about body language there....
http://www.becomeaplayer.com/bodylanguage.htm

If you ever go to a food place, etc , be sure to watch for body language. It's a good way of learning who fancies who.

I, for one, don't understand bodylanguage at all. I need things spelled out.

The only way I can tell if a girl is hitting on me, is to ask my wife.
I'm not sure she is unbiased, but she can sense these things in a way that i can't.