i cut my long-distance thing. i feel like s**t

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3 years of on and off, hell and some eden, no meeting.

i was contemplating ending it for a long time, after she has spent tons of her cash, to visit people all over, except me. if she couldnt afford, well, fine, neither can i. but she can, and she visits everyone else, and visits them repeatedly.
it did end some months back, when she decided to dump me, for a quick "jump in the hay" w a swede, and then come back to me, when he was bored of her. i was dumb enough to reluctantly accept, but needless to say, a lot had died by then.

just today i saw that, after promising, again, to visit me as soon as she could, i saw her blog about going BACK to visit some old friends, and going to amsterdam, to hook up with yet a new friend.

i cant know s**t like this, and go on.

she avoids me when i am online, i see her shut her msn to "offline", but keep posting on her forums.

whats worse is, i know shes clueless about this. she thinks shes "just" meeting a friend, "just" tired from chatting, but she never ever stops and realizes what shes doing, not even when i tell her. theres nothing more to carry on.

every day is just painful.

at least, now ill just be pissed off loveless grumpy craphead i was before i knew her

I am sorry that happened. Maybe it wasn't the distance that was an issue, maybe it was something else.

no, it was definitely "something else".

i had a long distance thing 5-6 years ago, w a german. it worked wonders, but i ended it too, out of my own commitment panic. my stupidity gained her a shot w someone else tho, and a family by now. i am glad to contribute

NOW commitment is what i seek

ah well..

I am willing to travel to meet people, but it's always the other person's unwillingness that impedes things.

Also, there are no female Aspies who have the same interests and ideals as me who live in the San Antonio-Austin area, and NTs want nothing to do with me, so I have no choice but to travel.

i think of the german one, and how quickly she came to visit me, at the first "ready to meet" moment, and i know how much better a long distance thing CAN be. one of my very first semi-romances also came, quickly to visit. even though we never went any further than friendship, there was several visits back and forth.

this one wouldnt come see me even at gunpoint. even if i paid her a million dollars. "i love you" "ok, lets meet" "NEVER!! !! !"
see, its too confusing

so. im staying single untill i am liked by someone.... normal, again

(oh, and all mine are "NT". but the thought of a better match in an aspie, has struck me. long before i suspected being aspie, i always felt that i needed a chick who was as "screwed up" as i was)

long distance things are hard.
the above situation sounds unclear and sounds like dishonesty was an issue on her part.

most of my difficulty in relating when long distance is involved, comes from communication breakdown and also misunderstanding. story of my life with relationships, really.

it's a difficult to navigate through.
i have great problems with my AS in terms of fitting into anyone else's life or routines. I just live by my own and when other people cannot slot in with me,i get terrible panic and anxiety and i worry too much. i am very very rigid around this, and that makes it hard for me to let people in.

so i am enjoying my pets.

yeah. i got a cat :]

i broke it off w her, in a as gentle and diplomatic tone i could, in an email. i even wished her well, and stuff, and kept my door open for continued contact if she wants to. she sent me back some insult, so i guess its a sealed deal...

An insult, huh? It's now you're supposed to say -"It's a closed deal. I'm done.", instead of -"I guess it's a closed deal."

Wish you well!

thanx, and yep, i was trying to be undramatic :]
but yeah. there's been some deletions and bridgeburnings and stuff.

She wasn't interested in you.

Never engage in online "relationship" again , use the Internet as a way to meet a person but not to love a person.

A curious question : did she ever initiate IM convo with you or you were always the one who initiated them? I noticed that people who aren't really interested in me very rarely/never start a IM convo with me. It's a natural reflex out of human curiosity for anyone to check who's online on his/her contacts list and initiate convos with the people he/she really cares and likes (high priority).

Last edited by LePetitPrince on 10 Mar 2009, 6:02 pm, edited 2 times in total.

wow, I have no idea what you're talking about.

have you guys ever made any declarations about exclusive being-together and all?

what is this online-relationship thingy anyway? am I the only one who doesn't get it?

how very confusing...

^^ I am not getting it either, but I guess online-relationship is all based on fantasies.

LOL

why is it called a relationship then? =p

A online-relationship can only be a online-relationship only after meeting the person in real life and knowing him/her for a good amount of time but they no longer able to meet for some time because one of the parties had to travel.

Same for online-friendships.

an online relationship can work, if both want it to. just like any other relationship. this one crashed, cus only i wanted it to work.
of course, emotions are involved, reality becomes painted over.
the bad side about it is that theres really no way to truly resolve a conflict when one erupts, so slowly, little by little they gather up. the longer time passes without a meeting, the more hopeless it becomes.

as i said, i had one that was going to work, untill i screwed it up. i was younger then, and panicked over the prospect of commitment.

i am myself a result of a long-distance relationship, by snailmail

Last edited by ZEGH8578 on 10 Mar 2009, 6:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Because they relate to each other. Be that as it may that it is over the internet. I'm unsure about the "ship" part though. Do they own a ship together?