Hollowsexuality - My story on relationship

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I may be 14 years old, and never have I been in a relationship.
I've always acted erraticaly and oddly, and this has put me in a place for ridicule.
I used to be sunny and outgoing, but now I'm morbid and reserved.
For a long time I was sad: I yearned for friends and socialization.
I felt like I was imploding upon myself, retreating into an inner world of sadness.
However, as I matured, I found myself having that craving vanish.

It swept through the window one cold winter morning, never to come back.

For a long time I was sad and depressed about being alone.
Now I'm comfortable with it. I don't want to make friends. I'm done.
Anyone whe was not a friend to me before say, the beginning of 8th grade I usually actively avoid interaction, save a few.
How does this tie into relationship?

I've become my own sexuality: Hollowsexual.

Hollowsexuality is not a torture, but it is odd.

My libido is at a completely normal level.
I am, as a normal boy, attracted to the female gender.
However, I do not want to be in a relationship.
I do not, also, want to have any sort of sexual contact when I am order out of a relationship.

This creates a paradox.

Basically, my total leaving of the social pool has put me at odds with the evolutionary traits.
I no longer desire to fall in love. I don't want to be involved in someone's life, especially like that.
As a result, I end up alone and perfectly ok with it.

Of course, there is the serious difference with asexuality.

But really, I'd say younger I was straight, I even had 1 crush.
But now I'm Hollowsexual, and I'm good with it.

I don't want to change

Post your opionion on Hollowsexuality.
I'll listen, but your advice will fall upon unwilling ears.

Comments and questions are welcome, but advice will almost certainly be ignored.
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Last edited by Gewitterdrache on 12 Mar 2009, 7:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

sexually changes as you grow up. your sexual desire gets stronger or weaker at points in your life and things you find attractive change too.

Many people choose that route and call themselves "asexual." Then again, I don't think asexuals are sexually attracted to either sex? Maybe you do have a new, appropriate word.

Whatever your choice is, I say go for it!

You sure you're 14?

Hollowsexual, I like that term. Most people are 'hollow' sexually, though.

I dunno, for those who watch / read Bleach, that might be weird. ^^;

I do watch Bleach, and I understand what people might think, but I think of hollow as something existing but completely empty and unused.

I'm actually about 14.62 if you must be prescise.

What the heck is "hollowsexuality"??

Are your parents not aware of your issues? Where are they in all of this?

My boyfriend was once 14 as well, and fit your description fairly well, and possibly for very similar reasons. His parents were cold, neglectful, aloof, and critical. Now he's with me, and we have one hell of a tough relationship because of all his accrued problems (sexuality is just one aspect, if important), and it seems tough for him. I would suggest getting help, because the sexuality is only one aspect of a much larger problem that will make you hurt worse if not treated.

So, in this case, that's what I think. I think nothing of the 'sexuality' thing aside from that. It's probably pretty damn unhealthy and I'm concerned for you, but you've chosen the road of apathy.

Honestly, at 14, you're just a kid. It's way to early to think your life is set.

I too went through that loner phase where I really didn't have any friends at school and got used to pretty much being on my own -- to a high degree, I prefer it still, but it's not good to exclude all friends. And believe me, there are some women (especially insecure ones) that would love to have a guy who doesn't spend all his time out drinking with his friends or carousing around -- they feel they can rely on him more.

It has depressing and unhappy connotations, I think.

Sexuality is not something one can just choose (waking up one morning and saying 'I'm gonna be gay today!' just isn't realistic). So I will talk about this as a lifestyle choice, not a sexuality.

Heck, this sounds like something I'd pursue. Sure I'd have to brainwash myself into not thinking about relationships but it's probably better than anguishing all day, and gives a good excuse if annoying people start asking question about being virgin Besides, since this is a lifestyle choice and not a sexuality, I can be whimsical about it. That's what I got to say about this: be whimsical! Like it now, then do it. Don't like it later, stop following it. Like it again, go back to being hollowsexual. Etc.

Good luck!

I didn't seriously think of having a girlfriend until I was fourteen, going on fifteen. I don't think I would have been even remotely capable of having a relationship at that stage. I'd go so far as to speculate that this experience is quite common among boys.

I thought the SAME thing!! As a fellow Bleach watcher....sounds kinda disturbing, but at the same time I think you and I both know it's not how it sounds

It's not entirely normal, trust me. It's not entirely abnormal, or even unexpected, but it does indicate something is going on, I think. In most cases like this, the parents are a huge part of the blame, and the child/young adult isolates themselves due to a variety of unhealthy factors. I base this on the fact he's thinking so much about it.

I really hope it does get better, and that he's able to talk to someone about it. At that age, there's always a chance of finding a better path, but if the parents aren't available for guidance, someone needs to be. This is similar enough to my boyfriend that I'm pretty concerned, and his neglect as a child was very nearly abuse, and the level of criticisms his mom gives (I had to live with her a while, I was going nuts) probably could be considered so.

If a child receives shunning from school mates, and there's usually enough support and guidance at home for him/her to remain somewhat balanced, mental pain and isolation on [I assume] the level of what is presented here is, I'm sure, much less likely to occur. It probably takes a bit more for the ASD child than normal children, of course, due to sensitivities. Anyway, this factor probably applies to quite a few posters on these forums, actually, where there's a lot of isolation and severe depression. Parental guidance through understanding, especially in adolescence, is key.

I'm not convinced. If he's still saying these things two years down the line with any sort of consistency, then it's worrying.

I remember one day I was fourteen and I arrived at a summer camp thinking "you know, I can suppress my desires for the opposite sex pretty well, I don't have to have anything to do with them". Two days after I arrived, surrounded by girls I liked the look of, I quickly convinced myself I was wrong. I imagine plenty of boys have to face that going in a transition from seeing girls as being mean and having cooties to something else entirely.