Which Would You Rather Have?

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Couples break up for various reasons, not the least of which is "lack of emotional support." Married people get divorced because one or the other partner is (or seems to be) more devoted to work than the marriage. People seek out extra-marital affairs because their spouses are more interested in what's on TV or the Internet. And some folks think that a relationship should be the Most Important Thing all of the time, no matter what.

So please respond to the poll, "Which Would You Rather Have?" and explain your selection.

Thank you.

I chose "A life spent in devotion to only one person, with everything - even my own wants, needs, and desires - taking distant second place to theirs."

The catch is, though, that ideally the man should feel similarly and make sure he takes care of my needs as much as I try to take care of his. Because I have needs too. I don't care about my needs but I think the person who loves me should.

personally I feel like a partner is a mutually benefical experience so while I will make sacrifices and I will help them towards their goals and support them regardless I think both of our wants, desires, etc should be equally important. I picked "Other"

I chose:

"A life shared only occassionally with trusted friends of similar outlook."

That's the best. There aren't unnecessary compromises made, and I can talk only to people I really can resonate with.. which won't be many!

I chose "A life spent in devotion to my family, with everything I do supporting their needs, wants, and desires."

This is the role that I believe a spouse and parent should take. Note the word "support." This does not mean that I become their slave, but rather that I provide for the essentials that sustain their lives and promote their growth.

And if this means that I work 80 to 100 hours a week to keep them clothed, housed, fed, and medicated, even if it means that I have no time for their emotional needs, then so be it. But it will be my choice to do so, not theirs.

I am not their possession - a pet on a leash that perfoms on command - I am an individual, with my own feelings, desires, and needs. And if they won't meet mine, then they should not expect me to meet theirs.

My ex never understood this.

when I saw this thread title I actually thought that it was gonna be about STDs :p

I chose option 2. I'd keep my friends, they are sometimes useful to help move bodies

Although I've been living option #3, I like to be at "A life spent in devotion to only one person, with everything - even my own wants, needs, and desires - taking distant second place to theirs.", someday.

I'm living option #6 but my vote was for "other". Although the idea of devoting yourself to one person and putting your needs secondary sounds ideal, I feel that in order for it to be healthy, there has to be balance. I wish I had a life where I'm meeting someone elses needs and he puts equally priority in meeting mine. Something more shared and less one sided. I'm fiercly devoted to my children and I wouldn't change that at all. But I wish there was more balance in my marriage.

^That's why I explained it.

Number 2 just cuz I need to be with people and have someone to share with but I also need my space and time alone.

I voted "show me the results", non of the options looks
like something i would do, maybe some things here and
some things there if i pick from the options but non of them
alone - and i`m not sure what i`m supposed to write under
"other"

I voted:

"A life spent in devotion to only one person, with everything - even my own wants, needs, and desires - taking distant second place to theirs."

Having a life partner where I can continue to evolve and where I and her can do things together which I unfortunately never have been able to do, Climbing mountains have been one of those things which I have been interested in, but I'm not sure if this will ever be a reality. For now: just a dream.