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Larval
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29 Dec 2005, 4:04 pm

How does one know when a relationship is falling apart? When the other person is no longer interested...when do you know to give up?

This is something that is especially hard for me to do, even though (as one person put it) "For if you love someone, you will do anything you can to make them happy."

"No matter how much it hurts."

But one issue (and perhaps one especially relevant for aspies) is, when does that time come? How do you recognize it?

How do you tell when someone is just feeling unhappy or unloved (and thus is needing/wanting more attention) verses wanting to leave the relationship?

And if the person wants to make the relationship work but isn't happy, what can you do then?

Basically, what signs exist to show that a relationship is going downhill, what can you do to save it, and when do you know that you have to give up?



lowfreq50
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29 Dec 2005, 5:11 pm

"For if you love someone, you will do anything you can to make them happy."

"No matter how much it hurts."


I've heard that advice before. Sounds great, but in the real world you also got to look out for your own self and your own emotions, and you can't be sacrificing yourself for someone else all the time.



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29 Dec 2005, 5:30 pm

lowfreq50 wrote:
"For if you love someone, you will do anything you can to make them happy."

"No matter how much it hurts."


I've heard that advice before. Sounds great, but in the real world you also got to look out for your own self and your own emotions, and you can't be sacrificing yourself for someone else all the time.


The quote in its original context is meant to be interpreted as, "If you love someone you will let them go instead of making them unhappy by forcing them to stay with you."



Musical_Lottie
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31 Dec 2005, 7:26 pm

For me, *he* ended the relationship over a year ago, and it wasn't a long relationship anyway, but looking back really the signs were that he stopped phoning me as often (ie perhaps once every two weeks, but we saw each other in the week anyway) and he stopped hugging me. I knew that he was quite shy so let him hug me, when I'd return it, but I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable by initiating it - I knew I'd not know whether he was uncomfortable or not. So with hindsight those were really the two clues I could think og - he stopped phoning and hugging.

Thing is, ending a relationship and letting go are completely diffierent - I've not let go yet, and he ended it in September 2004 ...


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larsenjw92286
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31 Dec 2005, 7:50 pm

I have a problem with that.

I think people involved with me are ending relationships because they are so busy. No matter how hard I try, nothing seems to work.

That is a shame.


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