Don't know if I can cope...

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Ok... I have a boyfriend and things are generally good and that's all great but right now I think I might be going crazy.
I'm getting all stupidly emotional and female about stupid things... if he cancels a plan I get annoyed and inevitably say something completely too much that makes everything about a thousand times worse and I don't feel like I can stop myself. Recently I keep feeling insecure about things. I know he likes me, but he's been in serious things before, and this is the first time for me. I don't know. It feels like it makes a difference.
I just don't feel like myself right now. I don't get emotional. I don't let other people affect me like this. I keep things private. Who the hell am I? I hate this. Part of me is actually considering breaking up just so I can try to be me again. I really don't know if I like who I seem to be turning into.

haha.. sorry to laugh babes but i recognize the sistuation... well i think that u shud give a shot and enjoy being "normal"
for a while.. just so u know i think normal suckz...

Where do you get the idea that this isn't you? Believe me, until two years ago I didn't think I could feel the things I do with my boyfriend. His existence makes me do things I've never done, and not necessarily for the better. I've never had the outbursts of violence I've had with him, for instance. Up until him, I hadn't had a real physical fight since the age of nine. It's hardcore.

It's very much you, a part of you that has never been explored. As animals, we have programs to deal with all sorts of situations, but we may not encounter all those situations for many years. Loss, gain, attraction, love, hate, and everything in between, all creates responses. You could choose to really embrace this experience and go with it. 'Ride the wave,' as I told my boyfriend recently.

Is it more of a problem because of your AS, and a problem with change?

'Normal' can also be a beautiful thing. It depends on perspective, and a lot of that depends on how you choose to take it.

I can relate to this situation. The only real advice I can give you is this: LET HIM CALL YOU FIRST! Trust me, I thought this was bull for years but I finally realized that men do not like to chased. It's difficult, but the focus should first and foremost be on yourself and your life. When he realizes he isn't the number one priority in his life, he will be more likely to want to make you his. It's masculine nature. It can't be changed. I am now convinced of this, even though I tried to fight it for years. My mom was freaking right. You may not believe me now, and if you don't that's okay. I had to go through hell before I finally "got it."

Absolutely. It may be helpful to add that men don't like to be chased because they feel more or less forced into a relationship they haven't totally decided to commit to. This is cultural and probably also has a biological basis in that males for a long time chose the females -- multiple ones at that -- with which to mate with and protect in their harem. Make it feel to them like you're using any sort of force and their decision and they may end up recoiling. You may be the most beautiful woman ever and have this impact on a guy, it seems unbiased.

I also want to add that communication is a must, in any way you can. Communicating your feelings in a logical way really helps with guys, if you can manage it. I know as a woman it's hard for me to do that, and I usually end up emotionally flailing around before I'm explaining any sort of logic to help a guy understand.

Thank you all so much. I do feel a lot saner now. We've talked and stuff which is good. He doesn't seem too bothered by the fact I'm possibly completely crazy. Apparently I'm a girl so it's normal... we have sort of agreed not to have any more maybe plans for a while - if I think something is going to happen then it is cancelled at the last minute I generally react quite badly.
The whole change thing does get to me. Feeling like I'm changing is weird when it took so long for me to figure myself out anyway. Knowing what is normal in this situation is difficult, you can't just copy other people like you can in most other social situations. Anyway thank you. It's really good to know that going crazy is actually vaguely normal.