Any Ideas?
its a thursday night.....tomorrow will be friday night, and after that saturday night....
Any ideas on where to go...........by myself? I really don't have anyone I would be comfortable going to bars with. I have never felt at home at bars by myself.
Where can I go so I don't have to feel awful at home.
Where is it acceptable to just go by yourself?
What are your interests?
The example I like to lay out there from personal experience is that I like jazz. You give me a jazz club with live music and I'm in heaven. Hell, you give me about eight generous drinks in that setting and I'll be dancing with the hottest chick there.
When you go out, your trips out have to conform to your interests. If your interests don't offer an obvious night out, then frankly you need to expand the range of your interests until they do.
You have to find a slice of the world, a slice of humanity, that overlaps enough with your interests that it's not a complete surrender to compromise and engage the rest of humanity on their terms (which is what you have to do -- it's their planet, we just live here).
Yep, try to go to bars or pubs with a more relaxed atmosphere, Jazz bars are a great place to go on. Don't go with the intention of getting laid, go with the intention of having a great time and getting to know people in the pub equally, playing darts or pool is a good way to build familiarity and comfort with locals in the pub.
A great way to do it is to buy a drink and go around tapping other peoples glass with your own saying "cheers matey" to everyone in the pub.
Ilka
Veteran
Joined: 7 May 2011
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,365
Location: Panama City, Republic of Panama
That would depend on: 1) your interests, 2) the purpose of going out. Do you want to go out just for the sake of it, or do you want to meet people? For going out alone I like: watching a movie, watching a play, art exhibition, museum, restaurant... For meeting people the art exhibition and museum might work, also a pub with a pool table (if you play pool). If you like day light you can also try "returning the same day" trips to places you like. You can meet nice people that way. What I do if I do not know where to go is find a website displaying activities going on this weekend and choose the one I like that fits my budget. I am suscribed to several of tose sites in my area.
That's the hardest thing for me too. Thankfully, I'm into Magic the Gathering and there are various shops I go to on Fridays for various tournaments. There's a lot of cool people there, including some cool, attractive women who play (they're married unfortunately), but it's fun. I have no expectations of meeting anyone to date there, but it beats sitting at home doing nothing which is my other option.
I'm not really hoping to get laid. I realize that is the wrong mindset. What I want to do is meet people.
My problem is, that I really think I come across as weird, socially awkward and needy, even though I try not to be. In the end, I am not comfortable in public. I get nervous and I feel out of place. It seems I am so bad at conversations that people have to resort to asking default questions. I just don't have much to talk about. I haven't experienced much at all in my life.....haven't been in a relationship there just isn't much to connect with.
I just don't know. I mean I really don't.....I could scream and shout a million times that I just don't know......
It just feels like I can't escape the knowledge that my whole life has just been a social zero, and now I am trying to "do something about it" "correct it", but it just doesn't translate into having a good time and meeting people and being social.
There is a house party next door, not a crazy amount of people. I tried just going by myself a few weeks ago, but it didn't go so well and left me feeling kind of bad. I gave it a shot. Going places by myself just makes me look needy.
Lets just face it: its not in my personality to just "not give a f**k". I have always been more sensitive and shyer. Maybe I don't care as much what other people think of me, but I still care to how I come across, as In I don't want to overstep other peoples boundaries .
If I just forced myself to go next door and socialize, it wouldn't be that good. And I have forced myself to do things like that before.
The point is, I am tired of "forcing" myself to do this, or be that. I shouldn't have to f*****g do that. Whatever it is that I am, I need to learn how to be it, and let it come naturally. That to me is why I feel out of place in gatherings. I am missing that.
