I need to know why society think its ok to lie?

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So asking them repeatedly has had no effect? So that leaves accepting that others will act of their own accord, that you cannot control what they do, and focus on controlling your response and being aware of their limitations... or allowing the anger to overwhelm you so that you do not make any further attempts in that regard. If I'm missing an option, please let me know... but I know for myself, the latter isn't a choice I can accept - the former wins out for me.


M.

The repeatedly was meant in reference to multiple people, but you bring up a good point - you say something once and expect another person to govern all their actions from that comment for the rest of their lives when interacting with you? Not reasonable, in my estimation, though I would welcome the opinions and input of others. The persona you show here, KenM, is very inflexible - if you behave the same with others, do you think that intolerance is an attractive quality? Just curious... I am not trying to be insulting or a prat, but trying to understand how you perceive things and what your process is.


M.

Is it possible that your definition of misleading is different than the standards of others? Your interactions with others are not likely to be successful if you continue to have expectations of them behaving to your whims and desires... and attempting them to conform to those needs or wants will likely end up pushing them further away. People are poor material for sculpture.


M.

Ken - I hear that you are upset. However, continuing to rail against it is only creating space between you and people. You ask them once (and only once, according to what you've said) to be honest with you, and then get rankled that your expectations of honesty are different than their own. Do you specify exactly what you mean, in no uncertain terms, when you make this one statement? In their minds, they -ARE- being honest with you... your expectations are different than their own. I'm not condoning the games that are played, the nuance that supposed expresses one thing while saying another, but at the same time these are part of the game you seek to play. You can either accept this and adjust your expectations, or continue to choose to get angry when it happens again.


M.

Yes I know what it means. But it does not mean I have to like it. I hate it, its part of all those little games the NTs play with each other and they assume that everyone knows the rules. They are scared of people with AS because we are straght foreward and direct. So they make fun of us and like to screw with us.

Also, I'm not seeking to play any kind of game, I'm looking for a women to spend my life with. If I feel there is any kind of game playing I walk away because I know I can't work through the BS. I cut through the BS because I'm honest and that scares them. There loss.

I will not allow people to mislead me, lie to me and treat me like crap. Other people let themselves get treated like that. Not me.

Well lot of aspies also use sarcasm and idioms and do jokes. I have seen it on here and I have spoken to many aspies and they do it too. Why? Because we're human and we learn. Just like dyslexics learn to read and spell correctly, they don't go around expecting others to misspell words because that's how they see the words written.


It's not misleading if you know what they mean because you had learned it. It's being a smartass when you take it literal on purpose because you were expecting them to speak literal. That is not aspie if you take it literal on purpose.

I don't expect to be catered. I just keep learning double meanings on here and try and remember them and there will be less misunderstandings for me in the future if I hear that double meaning being said to me. Like I learned at work when I was 21 or 22 that when I get told to bring up the rollaways, I am supposed to make them too but that can change because someone can tell me to bring up a rollaway and mean exactly what they said so that's why I would ask first just to make sure because my office clerk got mad at me for not making them because I didn't know I was supposed to. But I learned my lesson. I learned next time I get told to bring them up, I better ask if he wants me to make them too just to be sure because he could mean exactly what he said next time and I won't even know it because of what happened before.

Hey why not asking a woman next time when she says "lets be friends" ask her "you mean keep in touch or not have anything to do with me at all and you don't want me contacting you ever again?"

Because of that experiance you have been in many times, it's also your responsibility to make sure they said what they said or if they meant the double meaning so you know which one they meant because some people really do mean it when they say it or why not just wait for the woman to contact you again. If she never does, then you know she meant the double meaning.

Not sure if I mentioned this. But EVERY time a women has used the lets be friends line to me was always to let me down easy. They never really wanted to be friends, so why tell me that? No one has ever said to me "I just want to be friends" and meant it. Then people wonder why I'm bitter.

well then you learned a valuable lesson