Problems with Eye Contact

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I've always had problems looking people in the eye.

Moreso in women who I am interested, but basically anyone. I always feel as if by looking someone in the eye I am somehow being invasive and that they think negative things about me for which I gain a strong sense I guilt.

Am I the only one who has this problem? I know eye contact is an inherint problem to many aspies, I just don't know if these conceptions I make are abnormal, or if theres anything I can do about them?

I know i'll never have 'natural' eye contact with NTs, but have any of you had any similar problems as those i've described? and if so, what can you suggest to deal with them?

I am exactly like you described. I do try and make an effort to improve though, and am getting somewhat better. Although I still feel like I'll never be able to "gaze" into another womans eyes, at least any longer than a few seconds.

This is a big one.
If I feel nervous around girls or if I'm in trouble I'll have difficulties with eye contact and they won't perceive me as serious even though I am usually literally serious.

I noticed this problem when I tried to out stair a friend of mine. I did it for a few seconds then freaked and looked away then I tried another time with no success.

Lack of eye contact is an aspie survival trait. In a world were NTs were such dangerous and savage animals there is no surprise.

Neanderthals, Gorillas and NTs get aggressive when there is too much eye contact. NTs with superior social skills, know instinctually when there is too much, and aspie doesn’t so they instinctually play it safe and avoid eye contact.

i can barely manage .5 seconds. it feels like i can see their sould in that .5 seconds and i can then manipulate them to my ideas. i also feel an intense fear when it happens, like a person has a knife to my throat. and i am powerless to stop it, so i look away.

I only do a quick glance every once in awhile and then look off to the side or down at the ground.

It's tough for aspies to find that balance of some eye contact, then looking away, then coming back. I have to concentrate on it during conversations. I've gotten better at it now that I'm in my thirties.

how many threads have there been on this? there needs to be a sticky

I had this problem until i was around 20-something. One of my teachers even commented on it and said to my parents on a PTA meeting that "He really need to learn to look people in the eye".

After my first job i had learned that i could look people in the eye, or face or the face area and at times look away, maby by rubbing my eyes or pointing to something that has something to do with the conversation like a document or a computer screen - stuff like that.

Now, way past the age of 25, i feel much more comfortable looking people right into their eyes, i have even won stairing contests Learning not to fear looking into the eyes of girls when they look back, that took a while longer...

How to deal with it? Practice, practice and push your limits all the time.

Good luck!

I am the same. I feel really bad cos when I look up flirting or how to get a guy, they always mention keeping eye contact. The one I like knows I am autistic and he is good about it but I still feel I should hold his gaze a little longer. I just can't and end up looking past him.