She drives me crazy...Like no one else...

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Normally, I don't believe in office romance, but there's one girl I work with who makes me crazy. The problem's not that I don't like her--the problem is that I do like her a lot, but I can't talk to her. When I see her I think of all kinds of things to say, but after 2 minutes of talking about nothing in particular, I'm looking at my watch and going "Oh my God, look at the time..."

She's smart, funny, sensitive, talented, creative, and freaking gorgeous on top of it all. When I see her, she always has a nice hello and a big smile. I'm never quite sure if the smile says "Nice to see you", or "Please go away."

I"d like to get into a relationship with her, but I don't want to violate some obscure company sexual harassment or gender bias rule. She's probably seeing someone, but I can't even talk to her to find out.

Anybody have any advice?

Nice choice of titles!! I'm going to put that song on my list of 'to download' I haven't heard it in way too long! Love it!

As for advice... well I wouldn't recommend a relationship because most office policies prohibit it. But you might just want to spend a little more time getting to know her and see how it goes

From my personal experience - trying to establish a relationship with someone who works with you is dangerous. If you're anything like me, you may have trouble telling the difference between politeness & genuine interest - best to assume that they are just being polite. (Or the next thing you know, she's making a complaint that you are "being too nice" to her & you get called to the boss's office, or HR.) It happened to me a dozen years ago & there is no way that I would ever again entertain the idea of an office romance.

I would take it slowly but I wouldn't rule anything out.

Its a fact of life, that in today's world, office romances are becoming quite common. With the amount of time we spend at work, sometimes its our best chance. You already have something in common (your crappy job - your jerk boss - that a-hole in HR...) and you'll always have fodder for conversation.

I met my husband at work and actually the majority of our friends who are in a committed relationship met at work. I guess it depends on your work environment.

Good luck! She sounds great! Wish I could give you advice on flirting but I don't know you. Don't be a total wimp - but don't be scary, either.

This is counter-intuitive and it prolly won't work, but:

If you don't act on your crush(Or crush++++++++ I don't know, makes no difference to this advice), and just act as you always have you're
A: not gonna get kicked out for it B: gonna be able to be yourself in the office, and not tossed off-que by hormonal storms and
C: If she DOES like you, she might notice the difference and (eek) miss you. And if she doesn't like you, she's not gonna snap your heart in half later.

If you can control your impulse to fall in love, you're better then me. I'm suspecting "sensitivity to your senses" also applies to hormonal intoxication.

On a sidenote...It might just also apply to lovely food and even..euh..sex? *Grin* Suddenly, I love being "different".

Good luck with this, I wouldn't wanna be you right now, but the truth is, I'm not better off then you on this front. yet.

One of the stumbling blocks here is that everyone os so litigious and obsessed with being politically correct. I'm so concerned about the possibility of having something I say taken out of context, that I censor myself and end up sounding like an idiot.

You need to relax, man. Just pretend she's your sister. It shouldn't be THAT hard to not offend her.

And if you're that worried and she's that sensitive and scary - then it's not meant to be.

Of course, something I neglected to mention in my original post is that this girl is in a supervisory position. Ironically, if I had met her anywhere but where I work, none of this would be a problem.

DELETED.

Last edited by Cyberman on 20 Mar 2009, 10:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

""there's one girl I work with who makes me crazy""

Yep...woman will have that effect sometimes
i dont have much useful to say, but i want to
wish you good luck and hope it works out.

One thing to consider is, how do your relationships usually go? Do they last a long time? Have you had any/many before? When they end, do they end on a relatively good note, or do you and the other person usually end up bitter and angry at eachother? If you want to keep working there, keep these in mind.

In the last couple relationships I've had, one was with a girl, who I later found out had been molested by a family member & had developed a multiple personality disorder as a result. I understand this is a fairly common thing. In her case, It was like I was not involved with one person, I was involved with several "people" some of them liked me and others didn't. To make a long story short, I didn't have the tools to deal with this relationship(s), but I do think about her on occasion & hope she's getting help.

Another is a relationship that ended due to bad timing, but she still manages to drop into my life every few years & play handball with my feelings.

Those sex abuse victim chicks are the worst, all screwed up. Was she even up for sexual relations, or had she closed off that part of herself?

I'm sure you see the issue -- if you date this person, or try to, and things don't go well or end early, it's going to be awkward around the office. I'm not even bringing up the legal issues here, just the environmental ones. When I was in college, I made the mistake of dating the girl upstairs from me the first week I moved in there (my fault, she thought it wasn't a good idea). Big mistake -- we broke up a month later or so, and then we resented eachother and got on eachother's nerves the rest of the school year. The person still won't even be my friend on facebook, she resents me so much (and she dumped me!)

Alas..It appears all has been for naught. She is no longer at the office, at her address, or in the neighborhood. She never hinted that she was leaving, or even said "Goodbye"



Does the imagination dwell the most on a woman won, or a woman lost?