Am I the only one who doesn't care to be around other people

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I'm reading a lot in this forum about love and relationships, and I'm trying to wrap my head around it...

Part of what led me to get diagnosed was when people mentioned that I didn't go out and didn't have a girlfriend.
The thing is, I've had girlfriends on and off, and even got married once, but I've never actually *cared* for anyone. I mean, it's fun sometimes to go hang with friends for a bit, but it gets tiring pretty fast, and really I'd usually rather just stay at home doing my own thing.
Every girl I've been with has dumped be eventually, because we never really did anything. And I wasn't the least bit broken up about it, either. As i look back now, this is the first time since then that I've even had a single thought about any of them... (except the ex-wife, but that's only because I have a daughter to support)

So is this just me? For my whole life I'd assumed that it was perfectly normal for a guy to hate kissing and holding people or being held, and that it was just something guys suffer for the girls sake.
Now I know better, but it looks like there's something else at work, since I have no emotional attachments really; not even to my parents (who are very loving... I just can't reciprocate without faking it).

Right now, I am alone and loving it. The only thing that could make it better is someone to have sex with, but it's such a chore to keep relationships going. Ok, that sounds whiney, but I'm trying to explore how I feel and that's what's coming out.

The thing is, I once spent an entire year completely alone (didn't bother contacting any friends, going out anywhere etc) and barely noticed.

So it's a bit confusing to see so many autistics talking about love, dating, marriage and such...

As far as I go, I still have strong sexual cravings. I really don't desire male friendship at all, only female companionship. I am completely in favor of myself dating or being married, if for nothing else than to ensure that I at least have someone to take care of me physically in my dotage. In some ways I would need a partner to assist me with income and tasks of daily living. For the most part though, I have the sexual drive of any 23 year old. For the most part though, I really put very little effort into building a personal social dynamic.

You're not alone in thinking that. Its been like 5 or 6 years since my last relationship and I have no intention of actively seeking another one out. I've had a few crushes, told a few people here and there I like them. But usually its friends that I like too much to want to risk trying a relationship with lol.

But, its perfectly fine. I kinda feel like that if it happens it happens, i'm not gonna force it, finding someone that is. I can honestly say I am happy, a lot more than when I was 21 and in a relationship. I've traveled, made some good friends, finished school, have taken lots of extra classes, got a good job in which I worked my way from part time to high management in just a few years and more recently took a new job that is keeping my bank account fat. And I dont think any of that would have been possible if there were a female to be worrying about =P.

I prefer to be alone as well. I also have a problem with other people not understanding that I just want to be alone. I can satisfy my sexual cravings with online porn.

I used to be this way too, I could go months without talking to anyone outside of work, hardly ever going out. not to mention relationships, that kind of thing never went anywhere for me.

but I guess once I realised that I am a mortal being I sort of changed that attitude a bit. it's good to have some people in your life that are constants. I have very few good friends but I try really hard to keep them.

are you sure you're not SPD Wolter? you sound pretty "textbook"

you're not the only one, i would think.
i definitely want for friends/relationships myself, but i am weird.

i am calm and content when i am on my own. i like what i think, and it is unhindered when i am alone.
other people have their own thought trains and they interfere with mine.

i do like the company of people on occasions. but it is about 5% of the time.

if all humans except me were wiped off the face of the planet, i would be very upset and i do not think i could cope with knowing i will never be able to tell a thought i have ever again.

the people (excepting my gf) who visit me are strange thinkers but never the less they are humans.

i like the way they think and i have long fulfilling conversations and interactions with them.

but when my tank is filled, i will pay and "drive off".

i suddenly lose all interest in an otherwise engaging conversation at a certain point.
it corresponds to where my "tank" is "full" of human interaction.

it takes about 6 hours for me to get sick of someone who's company i was looking forward to.

i like to consult with the public on 1 to 2 days per week for approx 4-6 hours each time, and the rest of my time i wish to spend alone with myself.

I tend to not form emotional attachments to people (not even family) and need plenty of time alone, although I have experienced loving someone (unrequited). I'm fine whether in a relationship or not, and so don't actively seek them. My mother thinks I'm asexual (I was in the past).

I'm the same way. If I went the rest of my life without forming a deep attachment to another person I would not be upset.

When I was about 15 or 16, I had very little interest in sex and girlfriends. I never was interested and still not interested in getting married and having kids. Nobody could understand that. I never went out outside of school. I was intent with my own company. When I told people at school that I was not interested in marriage, they would aske 'Do you intend to become a priest?' or 'Don't wanna have sex' (Hey unmarried people have sex but this was a catholic school). But after I left school, moved house and became more socially isolated I developed a high level of sexual frustration and loneliness. That's when I started a craving for the other sex. But I just did not have the confidence, the social skills, instinct and the common sense when it comes to attracting women. Only in recent years, that I started to get more knowledge in the world of dating but that's another story, I drifting off topic here. I still am content with my own company now but do like to socialise occasionally and hang with friends. But there have been times when I felt more depressed going out than staying at home. In terms of relationships, I am pretty independent just the sexual frustration part. I do feel sometimes that I am missing out on something, society and people are sneering at me because of being asexual, would like to find out what it is like to be in a relationship, could do with the affection, etc.

To get back to you though (enough of me), personally if you are asexual and have no desire to be in a relationship then there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. If you are happy that is good. To be single and happy would be better that being in a relationship and miserable in my opinion. One should not however be too self-contained to the point it makes one selfish, cold and lacking in empathy towards other people in general (I have been like that). But whether you want to be in a relationship or be single is entirely your choice and it is to please you not others. Another problem though which I have been willing to bring up for a while is society and peer pressure to be in relationships starting from your late teens. There is always the stigma of 'virgins' or 'people who can't get a root'. Sexual culture is so engrossed in our media and thrown at people's faces from an early age. I get the feeling that people think that anybody who has not had a girlfriend into their adulthood is a freak or subhuman. I am wondering if there was no society pressure whatsoever to get into relationships would we aspies, socially awkward types, whatever, etc would get all obsessed about not being in a relationship? I am not saying this is the only reason we are craving relationships but it seems like if there is nothing to push you, then nothing needs to hold you back just be.

I'm mixed on this -- I wouldn't mind some company sometimes, but I'm pretty much ok doing things on my own. My wife is probably the only person who I really enjoy being around all day and talking to, but even she knows when it's time to back off and let me do my own thing for a while.

I do share the strong sexual cravings that Brusilov mentioned, so in many ways this is one of the primary motivators for me to be more social, at least when I was younger. However, as soon as I find someone, I tend to close off the other social points of contact and just hunker down again with my girl. Girls that have been with me have to be used to me being a loner, and usually that's something they prefer with me (they have me to themselves).

Once in a while I see someone I'm madly attracted to. Even though I'm married and have no intention of wrecking my marriage (again), I will fantasize and obsess about that person. Some part of me wants to impress them, win them over, but I think at the very core of it, I just want that particular conquest, in body and spirit, but that I know in the end nothing could be better than what I have now. I know, because I've sampled around, and in the end, I've decided I loved being with my wife more.

My wife also points out that I don't like doing the things that you need to do to get and keep friends -- I don't like going out much, I don't like doing things I'm not comfortable with, and I don't like doing things that other people choose as activities. I'm also very bad about answering the phone or returning calls. So I guess we earn what we get and want, and I clearly just like to have a minimal social life. I make up for it by doing things with my family, and when I have kids, I'm sure that will also fill the companionship role for a while.