I don't really like sex...

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21m -

Hah. Wow I feel like a moron for just saying this. But seriously. I don't really like sex. (This is not to say I don't love physical affection. I am totally all into making out, and touchin' and stuff, but I wish it could last for days instead of "lead up" to sex.)

Potential reasons why:
Think it's too much work?
Doesn't feel as good as other things.

Damn I thought that list was going to be longer. I don't know, for the most part I just don't see what the big deal is. If a doctor told me "Look, I have terrible news. Your penis is slowly killing you, if you keep it on, it'll shave 10 years off your lifespan, what do you want to do?" I'd tell them to cut the ****er off. I just. Don't. Care.

And so help me god I do NOT understand why every guy on earth (and I realize this is an exaggeration) is always with every minute of their life trying to get sex.

Now I see that this represents a problem. My girlfriend loves sex. lol. Uhh. A lot. In fact, well we don't need to get into that. But like... Ok actually I'm done talking about that. But my question:

Anyone else have similar feelings? Or do you all think I'm nuts?

Oh, and just a little comment here, I'm pretty very positive that this isn't a gay thing, so if that is your only comment then just keep it to yourself

yes its a bit of a problem. my partner and i have a bit of trouble because she wants sex all the time and i would be happy with sex once a month maybe
its mainly the penetration part i dont like so much, everything else you can do is great, but once you get to actually having sex, it just seems kind of pointless. i dont know

I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

I'm on the fence. There are times when I love it and I crave it, other times I can do without it. A lot of it depends on my mood and what else I have going on in my life.

What I do love, is everything leading up to it. I love physical affection and that is something I could never do without. I'm a touchy/feely person but if I think that the person I'm with automatically assumes it will lead to sex? Then I pull back. I don't always want it to go that way.

I love the little things, but not always the big finale.

edit for spelling

Last edited by CelticGoddess on 01 Apr 2009, 12:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Remember that your biology and most other guys biology is different, sexual cravings are overwhelming for most human beings. Men especially, sexual deprivation is one of the main reasons men commit sexual crimes.

You experience the world completely differently then most other guys, in a way, you're lucky in that you'll be saved from the horror's of sexual deprivation, it's not pretty, imagine starving to death and you'll get an idea of how bad it is.

haha yeah... there is always that part. but Just like when it comes to the "fun social things" i feel like i'm missing out on somethinbg..]. but i don't think i am.

WOW so far anyway, i'm really surprised i'm not totally alone on this one. and agaqin, to reiterate, yeah, i love everything leading up to sex. christ, feeling bodies on each other ^.^ heh, but yeah... penetration...

although i gotta say... actually nevermind, the forum topic might be "sex and affection" -- i don't think it's allowed to get as pornographic as I keep leaning

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

One of the myths about rape and why people think it must be sex is because sexual organs are involved, but it is about power and degradation. Men who rape are not looking for 'sex' or sexual gratification, but for the violence.

sexually deprived men may be rough in their impatience, and may exploit vulnerability,but intentional rape is very different.

Merle

You are stating and outmoded view, the social sciences have downplayed deprivation but if you do any reading on sex crimes sexual deprivation definitely plays a role. "... a crucial issue raised in this paper is the role of sexual deprivation in sexual assault. It has become fashionable in the social sciences to downplay the role of sexual gratification as a motivation for sexual assault and to see the behaviour as a particular form of violence."

i like looking at pornography more than sex, plus im not a complicted guy and cant be arsed to remember anything important about another person to get into there pants. like valentines day, aniversarys, birthdays..oh the list can go on and on

I don't mind sex, but its very rare that I will actually be in the mood. My husband likes to cuddle and often asks if we will be having a intimte moment... this kinda puts pressure on me and dosn't make me feel real good about myself. It sometimes makes me feel that is what he wants most when comes home from work.

I have mixed feelings on this. There are certain types of touch that I cannot stand that make me want to scream. In other situations, I love sex. It also depends on my mood.

sex is not the first thing I look for in a woman... if it comes up, I won't stop it, but neither will I pursue it either... so I put neutral down in the poll...

lol. I literally did. Laugh out loud... I know exactly, and plus, you got the whole thing where like... nobody can do it as well as yourself lol... anyway...



I know that one too. It's like. When it gets brought up Sometimes I get this pit in my stomach and I'm like "we're going to go through that again?" (Not that sex is some torturous activity, but what I mean is.... "Can't I just @(#&$& on #*$&$* while @*#&#)4 in #(@*$&$???" (And no, that isn't a real sentance, I was just throwin' stuff around ))

As for the slightly off topic rape discussion -- my only input is that yeah there is the whole control aspect, but i don't think you can ignore that the control and dominance thing might be driven by women consistently not putting out for a guy. "Oh? You don't want to f**k me? I'll make you f**k me" kind of dealie. And i'm not trying to make light of it, i find that putting stuff in quotes is easier to explain.. Anyway. Nice voting distribution :O 5's accross the board so far.

BUT I HAVE A NEWISH QUESTION
So among the people that don't particularly care for engaging in sex -- is there an exception? Like, in a shameless world where you wouldn't have to feel embarassed by having any particular fetish, is there something that could pretty much always get you to WANT to get it on?

And I'm going to say yes. But It might not be equally pleasureable for my partner lol

My big dream have been to find a man whose sexual cravings are not overwhelming,
but I could not find

I mean normal person, but that he simply considers others things more important and does not want to let sex to lead his life.

20 years I have dreamt to find such man, but could not find
I feel sad about this.

I've kinda got an odd case. I DO want it, but due to the extreme probability that i'll NEVER so much as see first base, let alone sex, the logical parts of my brain tell me i shouldn't want it.
If not for the internet, i'd probably get so pent up my head would explode.

You sound like you would be a good match for me but I don't think I could live with a guy who would never ever want it because how am I going to get pregnant then?

Sometimes I wish my bf was asexual and would only want it when he wants to knock me up.

I was naive to think once my bf got it from me, he won't want it as much because that is how my brain works. Once I have it, the strong feelings go away because my body got what it wanted.