Isn't it easier...

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to accept that no one (in my case a girl) is interested in me, than to know that someone does actually like me? If no one is interested in me, I won't have to challenge my insecurities, learn to deal with certain issues or make any progress on being socially ret*d, in order to make things work out between us.

Are there any people out there who feel they need to 'fix' something before you could possibly end up having a genuine relationship? For me I feel that I am too far behind to ever catch up to the level of my peers. So, should I even bother?

Yes. It's obvious that guys like me are in very low demand. In order to have any chance of finding and keeping a girlfriend, I would have to become a completely different person... conform to what women think is "boyfriend material." I would have to become a lot more NT-ish. The advice that you can have a relationship by "just being yourself" is a load of bullcrap. But even so, I'd rather "be myself" than conform to something I'm not.

I think I might be understanding on some level that i don't understand but here is my response none the less:

I woudl change in superficial ways in order to find a relationship with a woman. I don't think there is anything fundamentally wrong with me that prevents me from having a relationship. Just my social and sesnory difficulties have yet prevented me from finding one. That said I would quite happily forgo things that aren't important to me in order to experience a relationship.

I know I have "rigid adherance to routine" but I have developed methods to combat this. I actually scheduled in "free time" that a girlfriend might actually fill up for me. At the moment that is monday thursday and saturday nights. At the moment those nights are filled up with wondering around a loose end. But I think I could fill those with "spend time with girlfriend" quite easily. After all I do have my schedule written up on laminated a4 sheets. All it would take is a damp serviette.

I find it easier to just say that women don't like me, so that way I'm not disappointed or hurt when the inevitable rejection happens... Hell, I came up with a way to describe that in one word: unlovable... feel free to use it if you like...

there might be girls interested in you, but that you simply fail to notice.

girls are weird, but they are also plentiful, and theres always a girl into the type of guy that you are, whoever you are, its just that its easy for us to ignore the signs.

as a kid, i would misunderstand all signs and all flirts as malicious teasing. only in retrospect did i understand that they were all genuine, sure they were smiling and laughing, but cus they were insecure as well, but they were still genuine.

I wouldn't say "always"... There certainly isn't enough of them to make much difference...

Deppends on what you want.
If having a GF, is a death wish, then changing would be worth if for you i guess.

For me, of course, having a girlfriend to love, and stay with would be nice, if i, i would want a gf.
But i'm not going to change from right to left just for someone else.
I dont consider myself to be boyfriend materiel. I am plain said just different from the other people around me, so "being myself" whont bring me anything.

As for you, if you're not hell bend on gettinga gf, be yourself, if that means not having a gf, it's still fine

Yeah, this was me when I was younger.

In my experience, romance comes to aspie males, too, but usually slower and later than with typpies. It's probably not a good idea to expect to keep up with your peers in all things.

I guess my way of thinking exposes my pessimissm when it comes to this subject. I'm wondering if there are any females who feel this way. Or are these feelings exclusively male?

I just feel its easier on a person to know that he/she didn't miss out on a chance of 'love' due to his/her incapabilities....

Example.
No one is interested in me = no relationship
(Or even worse???) someone is interested in me = no relationship (too many issues to sort out)

So what you're saying is you don't want to evolve as a person, and grow, and just become insular and isolated forever? Life is full of challenges, if we never did any of them then we'd never even learn to talk.

I had a lot of insecurities and issues too, and starting with my diagnosis and moving on from that I've worked on them, and I've become a better person because of it. And no, I don't mean better than you, I mean better than who I was before. Quite apart from which since starting trying to improve myself and challenge my fears and insecurities, I have ended up in a relationship with an amazing girl who understands Asperger's and who I think I may eventually marry.

So yeah, it mgiht be easier. Doesn't mean it's better though. To quote an episode of Scrubs, nothing worth having comes easy.