time to part ways?

Post Reply New Topic

i love this girl, we have been in a relationship for a few years,

but she is very very lonely, and i am depressed, and everytime she asked from more from me its ok for a little while and then i get stressed out and i cant give anymore

i feel as though i should set her free so that she could be with someone with whom she doesnt feel lonely.

though when we spoke about breaking up she looked so sad,
yet she runs away to spend time with a man she has "deep inexplainable feelings for" and i call her and she is on a roller-coaster and she sounds very happy and i feel very depressed, and then she calls me back because she is worried even though i am fine, with a usual feeling of unhappyness.

i feel so jealous but also happy that she is having a good time.

i feel like edward scissor hands, like i should just go back up the mountain to be alone, and leave the girl to live her life even if she does love me

in the past this has happened and i make an extra effort to be more present with her, to talk more and to ask questions and it always ends with me feeling burnt out and then blowing up 'melting down' at some point. and i cant trust myself that this time it will be different, so i dont know what to do.

because on the one hand our love is very important to both of us, and on the other her happyness is very important to both of us,

and they dont seem to co-exist

So she's hanging out with another guy having fun, eh? Lemme give you an example of what happened to me just a couple months ago.

My ex wasn't happy, either. She was becoming lonely and depressed because of the way I never liked to socialize and how supposedly I was to blame for keeping her friends away. Well she finally starts going out more and...I start finding random things from other guys popping up in our place. She can never explain how they got there or who would have put them there. Anyway's, to make a long story short...she cheated on me twice with two different guys, but the second time she became pregnant...which is why she stopped coming home for about two weeks. I figured she got drunk and did it with her "best friend" after we had this huge fight on Christmas night. Funny how that fight was over one of MY female best friends that lives 2,500 miles away and whom I hadn't spoken with on the phone in over 3 years yet she goes out and does the nasty with HER best friend. Oh well. Her future plans are ruined.

Point being...if she's lonely now, it will not be very long before one of you will end it. Its better to let it go now and remember her for being a good person rather then seeing her as a filthy whore.....

Sorry. I'm still pretty bitter about that whole...thing.

so you think there is no chance?

btw the issues isn't with who she's hanging out with, i don't really care so much.

i just want to know whether people think there is a reason to go on, because i am not really sure

and is being not really sure a reason in itself?

i am not sure because it seems to me like aspergers is a lifetime of being not really sure...

i anxiously await some replies and some advice but maybe there is none,

or is there a problem with my post? or am i not on this board enough?

some threads take off, some fade away.

it is nothing to do with you, frequently. It is only the ebbs and flows of the chat board.

Merle

hah i see, never mind.

If she has "deep, unexplainable feelings" for this guy, that's a huge red flag.
If I were you, I'd leave.... now.

Objective response... she's already moving into a different place. That doesn't mean that you can't develop a relationship anew, but it will be different. That you don't seem to value yourself and your contributions highly may also play a part in the conflict between the two of you. That you're making the effort to compromise is good, but if you're not taking care of yourself then you are burning through what reserves you have in order to bridge the whole gap. She cares about you, but as I have learned in life... love is not always enough.


M.