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Touch sensory issues in relationships

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Cogs
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22 Jul 2012, 12:50 am

Just wondering how sensory issues with touch affect relationships?

I'm not in any relationship, and never have been, though I'm just wondering if I ever am, how would sesory issues with touch affect things? Does anyone have experience with this?

Edit: Also wondering what benefit NT's get from touch?


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Last edited by Cogs on 22 Jul 2012, 1:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

LoveHim
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22 Jul 2012, 12:59 am

I'm NT and my on/off/currently on guy is an Aspie. There are times when I can't touch him at all- he will flinch, say "don't," pull away, and resist all contact for hours or a whole day.
Then there are times where he can't get enough physical contact including hugging, kissing, caressing, sex, etc. (Those are good days for me). Depends.



Cogs
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22 Jul 2012, 1:03 am

LoveHim wrote:
I'm NT and my on/off/currently on guy is an Aspie. There are times when I can't touch him at all- he will flinch, say "don't," pull away, and resist all contact for hours or a whole day.
Then there are times where he can't get enough physical contact including hugging, kissing, caressing, sex, etc. (Those are good days for me). Depends.

Does that bother you?


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Shau
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22 Jul 2012, 1:05 am

The touching thing is like the eye contact thing:

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Valkyrie2012
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22 Jul 2012, 1:05 am

For me - I need to be in control of the touching. I don't want to be touched - don't touch me... but there are days I would so love to be touched but can't stand it.. those days are awful. Nothing like wanting contact and finding touch so overwhelming it is painful. Then there are the days I can't get enough touch and like LoveHim said - it is an insatiable time and thoroughly enjoyable. Makes me wonder if that is what it is like to be NT....



Cogs
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22 Jul 2012, 1:07 am

Valkyrie2012 wrote:
For me - I need to be in control of the touching. I don't want to be touched - don't touch me... but there are days I would so love to be touched but can't stand it.. those days are awful. Nothing like wanting contact and finding touch so overwhelming it is painful. Then there are the days I can't get enough touch and like LoveHim said - it is an insatiable time and thoroughly enjoyable. Makes me wonder if that is what it is like to be NT....

So its easier if you are in control of the touching? What exactly do you mean by that?


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Valkyrie2012
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22 Jul 2012, 1:16 am

I mean that I need to initiate... if I am ready for touch I am less bothered by it. When I was married I was forever swatting my husband off.. especially if he touched my overly sensitive bits. However if I took his hand and kept my hand over his, I accept it better, especially if I kept his touch firm and not light. Light touch drives me almost insane.

unexpected touch = bad

unexpected light touch = ++ bad

initiated touch = good

guided initiated touch = ++ good

:)



EstherJ
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22 Jul 2012, 2:56 am

Valkyrie2012 wrote:
I mean that I need to initiate... if I am ready for touch I am less bothered by it. When I was married I was forever swatting my husband off.. especially if he touched my overly sensitive bits. However if I took his hand and kept my hand over his, I accept it better, especially if I kept his touch firm and not light. Light touch drives me almost insane.

unexpected touch = bad

unexpected light touch = ++ bad

initiated touch = good

guided initiated touch = ++ good

:)


This is exactly how I feel. When I know it's coming, or I initiate it, I'm comfortable. Whenever else, it's painful. Though, I can say that I like touch from people that I am interested in - whether I expect it or not. But, only for a while.