Secret of men who captivate women (attract them on msn etc)

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Tom
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23 Apr 2009, 12:09 pm

copied from another forum -

He "tells them about themselves", telling them flattering things he's noticed about them - "I've noticed you're a very deep, artistic lady" "I've noticed you're very spiritual" "I've noticed you're very kind and caring".

Then he asks them deeper questions, "has this affected you in your life, have people taken advantage". It's showing interest - but not showing interest in the superficial "what are your hobbies, what is your job" way that small talk failures do. Showing a deep interest in their inner world and how they want to be seen.

Or, his "noticing" is done in a light hearted way "he he, I've noticed youre a lot of fun, youre crazy, I don't think i could handle you!" "you're really wild, you're too wild for me!"

Both these approaches cause the woman to ask "why, why do you say that, what is it about me that makes you think that?" Then he can "tell them more about themselves".."well, its because you said (blah blah), that shows you are that type of person, it's because you do "such and such", that tells me your psychological type".

Everyone is fascinated to hear about themselves, you are your own favourite subject, so the women are captivated to hear this guy who "sees into their soul", "knows you better than you know yourself", and they want to hear his observations about them. They want to know what he can teach them about themselves.

It's all made up, of course - all the observations are what he thinks they want to hear, what would be most flattering, not what he really thinks.



Learning2Survive
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23 Apr 2009, 12:12 pm

manipulative ahole

it's also inappropriate to talk about personal, deep issue on first dates.


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Nim
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23 Apr 2009, 12:24 pm

I proclaim that the deep emotional issues are best left addressed during the divorce.



Sorenna
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23 Apr 2009, 2:55 pm

Women can tell a guy who is a shallow shafter.

By the second conersation he is usualy busted.



JohnHopkins
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23 Apr 2009, 3:37 pm

Firstly, it's entirely possible to say all of these things without 1. being manipulative and/or 2. lying.

Secondly, if you really click with someone, it's entirely possible to talk about personal stuff on the first date. I have plenty of times.



Aspie1
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23 Apr 2009, 4:00 pm

While I don't agree with being manipulative, it all boils down to marketing. If this is what I have do to gets girls to respond to me on dating sites, then I'll do it. Sure, I might be the best romantic partner that girl has ever had, but in order to get her to see that, manipulation is a necessary evil.



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23 Apr 2009, 4:27 pm

Makes sense. I love compliments (I'm a guy but whatever...), especially insightful or creative ones.



Raikai
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24 Apr 2009, 4:33 am

Sorenna wrote:
Women can tell a guy who is a shallow shafter.

By the second conersation he is usualy busted.


True!