Geeks finding love

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So okay. I grew up a pretty geeky kid. I read and drew comics (my current profession), I collected action figures, I played lots of video games, and because of an Aspies memories I can recite geek touchstone movies like Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark from memory. Naturally, girls were out of the question...or so I thought.

I just got out of a relationship with a girl as geeky (if not geekier than me). She loved Star Trek to the point of meeting John DeLancie, she read Alfred Bester, and had her own collection of Star Wars figurines. It didn't last, but it was one of the best relationships I've had yet.

My point is, romance for geeks is not impossible, and considering how geek echelons like Comic Con and Star Trek have become open to more people, I like to think we're finally coming into our own. I wanted to start this thread so girl and boy geeks alike could fly their banner high. Possibly talk about how they're worthy of love, or talk about the love they've found already.

Well, you seem to have the hang of it.

I don't like it on TV Shows when they make geeks unpopular and the ones that don't find love. I'm definitely a geek and I know that I have a good chance.

First of all, I usually call myself a "nerd" rather than a "geek"... the latter term evokes some strong images of the green slime they used on Nickelodeon game shows in the 1990s...

Second... nerdism isn't something that determines whether you find love or not... you're either lovable or you aren't... and no other personality traits can change that... Unfortunately, I'm the latter...

Congratulations on your successes, though...

I didn't start this thread to brag about my successes, I hope I didn't give that impression. Rather I wanted to kind of dissuade the stereotype that geeks/nerds whatever are inept in dating and can't attract someone of the opposite sex (or same sex even).

Does having almost no social life outside the internet and being a fan of FPS games and Doctor Who make me a "nerd" or a "geek"?

Well, whatever it's called, it didn't help me develop any traits which women consider attractive.

Geeks don't really have any dating deficiency, per se. Many females will do geeky things with guys. I think dorks are in much more urgent need of help.

NERD POWER! I'm mostly into academic nerdism (philosophical discussion, current affairs, knowledge sharing, that kind of thing), and am a fantasy book nerd. When I was younger I did go through a massive fanfiction and buffy phase though.

The only guys I have ever wanted to date have been nerds too.

That's what I was getting at... your status as a nerd is not what makes you lovable or not... you just are, or you aren't... I would be in the 2nd category...

Replace 'geek' with 'nerd' and bingo, you have described the state of the world. I see the tag 'geek' as still having the dorky qualities and 'nerd' as the all-grown-up version of the geek, with social skills to match.

That being said, the above poster is dead-on in that the qualities that make you attractive are probabilistically independent of your status as a geek, or as a nerd, or as whatever your semantics prefer. Granted, though, as geek and nerd culture become more and more acceptable in the upper echelons of the mainstream, more and more nerdy people are able to 'pass for normal'. That's gotta help as well.

ToS, I highly doubt you are "unlovable" as you say. You are certainly likeable, and no likeable person is unlovable. It is possible you are misconstruing peoples initial attraction to physical appearance (although I have no idea what you actually look like, so who knows). Physical appearance is surface only, but what's under the surface is the most important and hardest to change - and from the posts I've read I can't see anything unloveable, or even unlikeable in your "under the surface".

Know that everything I say is solid truth - and STOP CALLING YOURSELF UNLOVEABLE, BECAUSE WE ALL LIKE YOU AND CAN SEE YOU ARE NOT.

Sorry for the caps, flame at will!

We have to establish an agreement on semantics between "nerd", "geek", and "dork"...

Personally, I've called myself a nerd for years, and see it as a much less negative connotation than the other two words (probably due to the movie "Revenge of the Nerds")... it can be used as a playful jab, but not much of an insult...

Geek, as I've said here and elsewhere, reminds me of the green slime used on Nickelodeon game shows in the 1990s... but for all intents and purposes could be used interchangeably with nerd...

Dork is the one that I usually see as an outright insult...

I'm just laying down what I've experienced, perhaps you guys have different definitions thereof...


You can thank the Information Technology industry for that... as people become more and more dependent on technology, they also become more and more dependent on the IT guys to maintain it... Our world domination scheme is working quite admirably...

I merely base my argument off of past observed interactions... the only time women indicates any romantic "interest" in me is when she needs me to do something for her... using sex to manipulate is an age-old weapon in the female arsenal...


Oh I highly doubt that... one word: fatass...


Referring back to my observations, so far, all women have not loved me... I'm going to introduce a corollary to the Fermi Paradox: If there are women out there that love me, why are they not obvious?


You're just making assumptions about me (understandable, since you don't actually know me in real life and you don't know what hells I've had to endure in the love arena), whereas I'm basing my arguments on logical extrapolation of events that have occurred...


I don't flame people unless they make personal attacks instead of debating the topic at hand...