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Fudo
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08 May 2009, 8:52 am

hey all there's this guy i know.. he's a little emotionally immature & not very independent, but he means well :)
He would really like to meet a ladyfriend who likes him for who he is.. although he spends so much time isolated he really would like to embrace the world, just maybe not alone.
does he have a chance?



Keith
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08 May 2009, 9:20 am

No, all is lost :twisted: jk

Anyone has a chance... I see you are in the same area as I.. :D



Fudo
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08 May 2009, 11:19 am

aye i'm in the UK but it sucks :( too many chavs. :p
anyways thanks for the reassurance.. the guy mentioned is me but it could potentially apply to many people methinks.
would be interesting to get some feminine feedback... ladies? :)



TB
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08 May 2009, 12:04 pm

yep off course you have a chance i thought right away you were talking about yourself XD its just a matter of finding the right person its hard and if you are very lucky you will find her. you need to not care about rejections it only means they are not right for you.

im only repeating what ive heard many times, i have almost no xp in this area hehehehe



Fudo
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08 May 2009, 12:09 pm

TB wrote:
yep off course you have a chance i thought right away you were talking about yourself XD its just a matter of finding the right person its hard and if you are very lucky you will find her. you need to not care about rejections it only means they are not right for you.

im only repeating what ive heard many times, i have almost no xp in this area hehehehe

yea i'm a terrible liar lol.
reads like sound advice & i think rejections shouldn't be too bad.. after all if they don't want to be with me then yes they are perhaps not "right" for me.. well hopefully i'll find out & let everyone know :)



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08 May 2009, 4:56 pm

You sound kind of like me, Fudo, so my advice is: don't even bother... for now, anyway. I'm not saying this to be mean, and I wish I could give you a more positive answer. But the problem is that women will reject a guy based on the slightest imperfection, and they're very good at finding imperfections in even the most mature and independent guys. Maturity and independence are REQUIRED qualities for a relationship, not "bonus" ones. So you might as well focus on other things and leave dating on the back burner for now. Maybe later in life, we will have developed enough qualities to stand a better chance of finding love... I don't know.

Keith wrote:
Anyone has a chance

For some of us, that "chance" isn't good enough to be worth even considering.



Fudo
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08 May 2009, 5:25 pm

well i appreciate any advice, & it seems assuredly honest so thankyou..
i will try none the less, but i've always been stubborn.. i'm definitely not "the perfect catch" lol, but i would hope that others can see the good in me.. i dunno.
all the time i'm Fudo i can't give up, it would surely dishonour He & i :) but you may well be right.

P.S i play lead guitar, are the stories true? :p



Cyberman
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08 May 2009, 6:51 pm

Fudo wrote:
P.S i play lead guitar, are the stories true? :p

Well, it does seem to help some guys get non-serious flings, but it won't necessarily get you a woman who "loves you for who you are."



Fudo
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08 May 2009, 7:11 pm

ahh nvm then.. lol
flings would probably not be too good for me, or the other person i guess.
still if i just happen to catch a ladies ear with an "aspie" guitar solo.. well methinks i couldn't resist temptation..
but alas i'm stuck not playing anywhere i can be heard, so it's all just silly ideas i guess :(



Fudo
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09 May 2009, 9:38 am

listening to "Baby snakes" by Frank Zappa :)
well it seems i'm not that popular yet.. :( lol nvm
would still be very helpful to get some opinions from the ladies.



desmonami
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09 May 2009, 9:52 am

Well what kind of opinion do you really want? I can only speak for myself, but i hate the qualities, or lack of- you listed in your opening post, if being emotionally immature was very obvious in your persona, i wouldnt personally give you a chance. Thats just me though.

Some girls out there might like those attributes, as long as you get yourself out there, yes i do mean away from the pc, and not come of as too desperate, needy or being too much of an emo, you will be fine.



Fudo
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09 May 2009, 10:02 am

any opinions are great at the moment.. although i "feel" a little sad now.
Thankyou for your honesty.. i probably do come across as "needy" & or desperate it's hard to tell.
it's not so much the socialising that worries me, i prefer talking face to face (i think, bit out of practice)
i didn't exactly sell myself in the OP, lol to say the least.
i think i am a caring & respectful young man, with a lot of "love" to offer.. i love playing music &would like to share this.
but i live on my own & i'm a complete mess.. i just don't want to BS anyone into thinking i'm "great"..



desmonami
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09 May 2009, 10:18 am

Well then get out there. Sell your good attributes. Volunteering. Going out with friends, Do you go to uni? You say you are into music, gigging? idk what the protocol is when it comes to meeting new people but doing it over the net should be a last resort in my humble opinion.



Fudo
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09 May 2009, 10:26 am

desmonami wrote:
Well then get out there. Sell your good attributes. Volunteering. Going out with friends, Do you go to uni? You say you are into music, gigging? idk what the protocol is when it comes to meeting new people but doing it over the net should be a last resort in my humble opinion.

yes! i need to get out there but.. well
i don't go to uni no :( or anywhere.. i don't know anyone in real life, those i did know cut off contact..
i love gigging yes although not so much listening, only playing (is too loud otherwise ;) ) but i seem to have no way to get a gig, especially as a "1 man band"
your opinion is as valid as any other but humility always helps :) thanks



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09 May 2009, 4:45 pm

Yeah, well...

This girl that I know, I met her at a Minute Man show. She used to work for a literary journal? But she's really into hip hop. She kinda, like, brushed me off. I think she likes movies too much.

But seriously, those (first post mentioned) are qualities I'd give a chance. But there has to be more to the story, and a good amount of self knowledge, standards and good hygiene. It could be sweet, even. I like the idea of a guy who wants to share life, and even feels a bit lost without that. Independence and counterdependence aren't, in my personal opinion, always qualities to be revered. There's always a necessary amount that's needed, though, for anyone. Interdependence is a good thing, however.

Even if it's atrocious there's no hope for the hopeless.



Fudo
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09 May 2009, 5:02 pm

Orbyss wrote:
Yeah, well...

This girl that I know, I met her at a Minute Man show. She used to work for a literary journal? But she's really into hip hop. She kinda, like, brushed me off. I think she likes movies too much.

But seriously, those (first post mentioned) are qualities I'd give a chance. But there has to be more to the story, and a good amount of self knowledge, standards and good hygiene. It could be sweet, even. I like the idea of a guy who wants to share life, and even feels a bit lost without that. Independence and counterdependence aren't, in my personal opinion, always qualities to be revered. There's always a necessary amount that's needed, though, for anyone. Interdependence is a good thing, however.

Even if it's atrocious there's no hope for the hopeless.

thanks Orbyss, i'm not sure i understand all that you said but here goes.. i think there's a lot to my story as it were, but i'm not really sure where to start, if there are specific questions i can (i think) explain quite well but to try & start listing interests would probably just be ramblings, like this..
i'm not sure the difference between independence counter&inter exactly, but i'm not very independent, if that helps explain, i can be in somethings..
Self-knowledge, standards & hygiene.. mostly yes to first 2 but honestly not currently a good level of hygiene, i imagine this is bad.. i would be more than willing to clean up for a lady, however it's kinda a long embarrassing story as to why i am this way..
i've probably said enough. thankyou for your honesty. :)