Rigidity

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This is a big symptom mentioned in my official diagnosis. Of all aspie traits I present, none is more pronounced than this. Recently, my mother cited this as the single biggest reason I will never have a successful relationship.

There are two types of rigidity, or stubbronness as I have traditionally called it, that I present in my opinion and experience.

Type 1: This is more of a failure of diplomacy than anything else. Essentially, I see no reason to pretend I am convinced of a thing unless I actually am. To this end I never "give up" in arguments unless I believe I'm actually right, and even if I logically understand that's the prudent thing to do, I'm rarely convincing worth a damn and the fact I haven't really given up is outed anyway.

Type 2: This is usually a response to intimidation. What happens is that I sense the other person attempting to cow me into altering my behavior or changing my mind and I dig in my heels in a profound way. At this point, I will never change my mind. Therapists have told me you couldn't break me under torture under this state, and I believe that.

These things sound familair to anybody? What is the real impact to relationships in your opinions?

-Frank

this sounds all too familiar.

I'm pretty sure that one of the major reasons why I can't "do" relationships is the fact that everyone keeps pressuring me to have one. it's just that my ODD is such a massively dominant part over all the factors that make up my personality.

I have the problem of not being able to "let it go" if I am right about something. I just hate it when someone wants to argue to the death about something when I know damn well they are wrong. This is a huge problem with me and my husband because he can't admit that he is wrong and I can't let it go until I win. I usually end up going to the internet and finding "proof" that I am correct about whatever it is and that usually ends it. He will never say that he was wrong or that he is sorry and neither will I (because I only do this sort of thing when I KNOW that I am correct). Considering how often I really am correct, you would think that he wouldn't argue with me. I NEVER profess to "know" things that are speculative. Having someone argue with you that something with a pH of 10 is an acid, for example, is infuriating because there is only ONE answer to that question. It is a BASE! If you are wrong and want to argue about it... I just can't let that go. Ya know?

Geez I can really identify with this problem as well.

I think my rigidity is one of the major reasons why I isolate myself from even having potential relationships. It's one of those things that can't be cured unless I really step outside my comfort zone....which is really uncomfortable. >_<

If I think I'm right, it's almost impossible to get me to change my mind. But on the other hand, i do listen and try to understand the opposing side. What I won't do, is change my mind, unless I'm 100% sure that I'm wrong. So yeah, I'm a bullheaded person, but I usually won't make an opinion on an issue until I'm 99% positive that I'm right. And that means I'm only wrong 1% of the time, hence my bullheadedness.

I'm not one to argue. I am the type that listens carefully to both sides, then decides whether I'm right or wrong. I don't see any need to argue when things can be done rationally. Plus, I hate when people raise their voice. At that point, I will usually walk away until they are ready to discuss something like a human being.

I consider myself a black and white thinker, and a little stubborn as well. When I say no, it means no, there is usually no leeway, except in special situations.
What irritates the crap out of me though, is when people think they know it all, or they try to convince you their side of the story is right, while refusing to listen to yours, and they never let up, ever, no matter if they are right or wrong. I know a couple people like this, and I just walk away, or nod my head when they start in, because you'll never win the argument...they always have to have the last word.

Other than looking for someone with certain interests and beliefs, I am flexible everywhere else.

rigidity of character and being very opinionated has been the downfall of many relationships and friendships for me. People argue with me or say things that annoy me (with out even an argument) and I feel irritated and discusted with them and cut them out of my life.

I dont seem to be able to stop myself. Its especially bad thing in sexual relationships as I cant have sex with someone who discusts me and at some point people always disclose some opinion that I can not overcome. Or they move one of my books