Lonely and not meeting people I can connect with

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I've always been attracted to the 'trouble-makers' of my peer-group. Since high school my attitude towards life seemed almost bipolar. I was a high acheiver, winning awards and scoring high in my exams. I also used to regularly truant and engage in mild drug taking (nothing further than cannabis). I never fit with any peer group, I had brains but also found school so tedious. This wasn't helped by the fact I was regularly bullied and trodden on, sometimes by the people I called my friends.

The reason I bring this up is it seems this pattern is continuing into adulthood. I recently moved out my parents, have my first proper job and I'm aiming to go to university this year to study Sociology and Politics. I'm working hard and I'm proud of myself for doing so. However I have almost no close friends except for my roommate. The other people I do occaisionally spend time with are all underacheivers, long term unemployed who are casual drug takers of all types of substances. My best friend/roommate spends a lot more time with them than I have, mainly because they are our neighbours and she lived here longer. I'm also disadvantaged because I struggle to socialise with people who don't have intellectual conversations, and instead talk about 'normal' things. I'm not tedious and I know I can party, it's just I struggle to talk when sober. It sucks. Since my dad's an alcoholic I don't drink an awful lot but I find myself craving it just so I become more outgoing.

Recently I've been feeling very lonely. It's almost as if I can't find someone who enjoys the same things as me, on the same level. It's also just turned a year after my long term relationship of four years broke up, and whilst I've had some attention it's never been from someone I would settle down with (last one was a heroin addict -.-). I refuse to have one night stands for my own self-esteem, but my sex drive is pretty wild so I'm struggling from that point of view. I miss compainship though. It's been ages since I had my oxytocin fix (that's cuddling and any kind of affectionate contact). The only thing that's stopping me hitting bottom is the knowledge I should get the chance to socialise with other people in university with a fresh start, so long as I get an A in my exam. Quite a lot of pressure but I'm hoping I'll do well.
I don't know what I'm hoping to acheive by sharing all this but I just had to get it off my chest. I don't expect to find a solution online but you never know.

Besides the drug use I totally get where your coming from BTW I'm Brandon

Hi, I totally understand what you mean. I also struggle to maintain a conversation, except when I have been drinking, which is seldom. I seem to enjoy watching other people in a group interact and I am usually happy just sitting there and listening, we are all so different. To be honest if we all got together we would have a great time.

Same problem

I'm lonely myself, but despite me getting drugged too much on mess, I try to stay away from the dangerous substances such as MDMA (Molly), cocaine, heroin, meth, etc.

There's a lot of peer pressure among the club drugs, but I deal with more depression from loneliness, even if I'm sober from alcohol

I know exactly what you are going through. I struggled to make friends for many years myself. However, have you considered doing some research to find yourself a support system of other people with Autism and ASD? I would suggest looking for one or two different support groups for mature adults. That is the best way to meet people and connect. I found that it worked for me.

Also, if you have any religious groups that you belong to, I am sure they have several on campus. Also, what about joining some clubs on campus?

I started doing that as well.