I don't think anyone likes me

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I know the feeling.

Are you actually Chinese? You look Chinese.

You'd be a good actor in a HK movie. (I don't usually say that about Chinese dudes, just in case you think I'm being a racist goon.)

That makes sense. Comparing math skills, I don't know that many fellow students who are in my league. However (surprise...), 2/3 of my friends are math students, and they are very good. One of them might fit your description because he's rather distant, and he's not significantly better at socializing than me.

I sometimes get the impression that people assume that I'm not interested in socializing, especially not with someone "below my league". I'd really like to be able to convey the opposite.

In theory, I know what I'm doing wrong. Just today, I received an e-mail from a fellow student, containing a question about computer programming (hooray, someone is talking to me!...). Though I really made an effort to answer the question well, I avoided any wording that could suggest an interpersonal relationship to her. She opened "hey", I opened "hallo", which, in German, is something unspecific between "hi" and "hello". She closed "liebe Grüße", which is quite personal (perhaps approximated be the closing "love" in English), and I just wrote my name. Now I know that this is how I scare people away...

no prob I would be willing to act not only in a HK movie but even in a martian movie, so long as they pay me. as for my Asian appearance, mother was Japanese and father was german [via Pennsylvania Deutch ]. so i'm a hybrid creature. if only I had some Italian in me, I might start WW3. [ok, bad joke ops ]

@OP - Having read how this post has developed I am very impressed by a number of things (not least your natural use of English since I assume it is not your first language).
The thing that most impresses me is your clarity of thought. In fact, more than that, you seem to have a very similar outlook on life to me as well as comparable abilities/traits. I have struggled with everything you have described and have come to similar conclusions. However, I am (next week) 45 years old and have only lately come to my current point of view which is this. I must accept that I, by nature, tend to over-think things - the more important to me the issue is the more I will do this. I must further accept (after many years of observation) that over-thinking is generally an unhelpful thing and often leads to problems. Having considered these things, it seems to me that the only way forward to is to continue to engage with people however superficial it may seem to me, thus giving me the type of social network that gives me the opportunity to make more meaningful connections and be better prepared to seize them when they come along. It's like buying a lottery ticket - if you're not in you can't win - only the odds are far better.

Well, developing a theory about it is what mathematicians usually do when facing a problem. And I think I've learned a lot about social skills – in theory. I feel like someone who knows everything about football but can't play because he doesn't have legs.

I think that part of the problem is that you're too hard on yourself. I can all but assure you that there is nothing wrong or unlikable about your character. I actually find you to be very likable based on your posts here, so if you are anything like that in the real world then it only speaks positively for you. You're probably far harder on yourself when you make those faux-pas than they are on you...next time you catch yourself in one try to laugh it off as a joke.

Do you have much of a sense of humor when you socialize? Humor can be one of the best ways to get people to warm up to you, if done in good taste. I frequently bring up ridiculous/stupid news stories and act all serious about them to get people going (this week: Amanda Bynes meltdown continuation).

Also one more possibility that I've faced: with your friends, it may not be that they dislike you, but that they find you boring in "fun" situations. I've had a couple fairly close friends that I get together with occasionally, and I know that they do like me and enjoy having me around. But at the same time, they're all big partiers/drinkers and I won't even touch alcohol, so we hardly ever do anything together nowadays since most of their social activities involve heavy drinking/craziness and I'm not nearly so wild.

What your saying applies to me as well. Except that guys are always okay with me, but on the contrary girls seem to hate me. [b]

It pains me to read you say something like this, because I know what it feels like to think that way. Have you ever considered the following?

Let's say you would want to have everyone's approval and be liked by everyone you meet. What would be the best way to go about it? Think about it. Everyone is different and has different preferences etc. so you'd have to constantly adapt your behavior depending on who you're interacting with. It would be impossible to please everyone, don't you think?

Now think about someone that everyone likes. How does this person behave? You will usually find that they don't CARE what anyone thinks of them! They don't seek approval from others because they know it is impossible to please everyone. No matter WHAT you do, there will always be people who DON'T like you, for ANY reason. Sometimes people just don't like your face and there's no logical reason for it at all.

So the great irony is that the more you WANT approval and try to GET it, the less of it you will have. Instead, you have to simply decide that you will like yourself as you are, and if someone else doesn't, that's just fine, because you're not TRYING to please everyone. Just as YOU don't like every person in the world, why should everyone like YOU? As long as you like yourself, you don't have to worry what others think. And the amazing thing is, that as soon as you stop worrying whether other people like you they will like you more.

I think you nailed it: my sense of humor is either non-existent of incompatible with other people.

That is, I can be witty when talking about something that I like. For example, I recently helped yet someone else about her computer problem (which is apparently the most frequent way of human interaction for me). Though I didn't intentionally joke about anything, she frequently laughed about what I said (in a positive way).

But during "social conversation", I'm much less secure than when talking about computers, so it's very hard for me to come up with something entertaining.