Subtle bullying? Please help

Post Reply New Topic

I´ve experienced similar situations as you describe. I didn´t know it was bullying though, not until I read the chapter on bullying in Tony Attwood´s book Asperger´s Syndrome 13 years later. I was under the notion that I only been bullied as a child and felt ashamed over not having understood what the popular girls in my class was up to later on. I had some insight though through a recurring dream (nightmare): I was hanging out with one of the popular girls and she was being nice and everything but something felt off. Just a strange, dreading feeling in the gut. After reading that bullying chapter I realized why I was having that dream and that that is a feeling you should listen to. If something feels off, try to get out of the situation. Don´t do anything they ask you to do (even if it seems harmless at the time), especially not if they´re popular kids in their teens or possible "errendboys" to popular groups. The more they insist, the more you should resist. Remember that if you´re unpopular or at least not popular, you´re not going to be accepted for participating in (*being*) their entertainment.

If you aren't friends with these classmates and they intimidate you, yes, I think that they have been bullying you.
If you have always been friends with these classmates and they don't intimidate you at all, I assume that they are merely teasing. When I was in Grade 7-Grade 8, many of my classmates (who were friends with one another) teased among themselves all the time. For example...

Boy 1: Hey! Boy 2 told me that he loves you!
Girl: Really? Boy 2 told me that you are his one and only love.

Girl 1: Hey! Girl 2 told me that she loves you!
Boy: Really? Girl 2 told me that you are her one and only love.

Ive experienced this sort of thing a fair bit. Its about an inferiority complex. Since most NT's are hopelessly dull - typical, they tend to band together and exploit those who show any sign of being weaker in some area. In my case people use any opportunity to make the pecking order clear. If theres a group activity of any kind I wont be invited; im frequently point blank ignored and it goes on and on.

The only thing ive found to be effective is being a bit of a d**k. Just being assertive works wonders. NT's have a wider capacity to tolerate "weirdness" than we give them credit for - remember theres alot* of diversity in their ranks. The essential thing however is to show that you're totally at ease with your difference and by some psych. quirk it rubs off on them too.

Some of that sounds familiar in junior high and middle school but it didn't happen often enough for me to consider myself as being bullied at that age. I am not sure if they were practical jokes or meanness. Some kids like to do practical jokes or tease each other and not do it to be mean.