Any Aspie guys feel they can bond with girls better?

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MonsterGuy
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20 May 2014, 4:03 pm

And why?



Qrn103
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20 May 2014, 4:18 pm

I know that I certainly tend to.
Usually, I have more interests that fall in line with things girls seem to prefer, and there's far less constant competition between myself and them.
Guys always seem to be in constant competition with one-another, and while I don't mind it when its lax and seems more joking, when its out in public and everyone's trying to out macho one-another, it drives me up the wall.
That, and I tend to be able to have much more personal, serious conversations with them, as opposed to guys, since most guys seem to laugh through it and not take it seriously, or actively become defensive and destructive towards the topic.



DukeJanTheGrey
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20 May 2014, 4:25 pm

What do you mean by better. I find it easier to bond with other blokes but bond more intensely and deeply with women.

I suppose if I had the choice of going to the pub with a bloke for a few pints and a bonding session or staying at home bonding with a woman over a bottle of wine or two I would choose the latter. But that is a massive generalisation, all depends on who the individual you are bonding with is.

Yes I have a drinking problem thus I have had to stop, but I can't get it off my mind. Why do challenger hops and tempranillo grapes taste so good?



Mindslave
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20 May 2014, 4:27 pm

I used to bond with guys better. I still do, but in some ways I bond with gals better. It's hard to explain, but the best I can come up with is that I'm generally non-threatening and mostly interesting and entertaining. In person, I'm entertaining. In writing, not so much.



GiantHockeyFan
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21 May 2014, 6:58 am

For some bizarre reason, married women (even seniors) seem to bond better with me than my fellow males. I would say it's because girls mature faster than guys and I can't stand the constant thoughts about sports, alcohol and sex and nothing else. I've also noticed that three married women I get along with best at work have husbands similar in personality to myself. Maybe with their experience in marriage they "get" me.

Younger/unmarried women won't give me the time of day and they haven't my whole life, even in Kindergarten. Cannot figure out why especially when I am NOT hitting on them.



micfranklin
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21 May 2014, 7:30 am

I do find myself seeking more attention from women than men, and there is this one girl who I've "bonded" with a lot over time, mainly because we share a lot of common ground: we graduated from the same college, both liberal arts majors, both enjoy comics, watch The Walking Dead, are video gamers, like alcohol, and so on.



neobluex
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21 May 2014, 8:17 am

I find it very hard to interact with other male teenagers because they seem too socially close (they call me "friend", ask personal questions or make fun of me).



Aristophanes
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21 May 2014, 10:23 am

*Danger Will Robinson, incoming generalizations*:
I find a lot of men highly annoying. It's like some constant pissing match that doesn't end. I also have no use for bravado which is generally a 3 to 1 BS to truth ratio, making it less real than most fiction books. Example: "I totally banged that hot chick at the bar last weekend" in reality translates to: "I hit on some drunk girl at last call and she let me get to second base before she sobered up enough to realize I'm a complete douche and kicked me out her place." "In high school I was the star center of our hockey team and their leading scorer!" in reality translates to: "I was a second line defenseman, but there was a season that I got 2 empty net goals." I also have no common interests with the majority of men. I like cooking and gardening, that right there is enough for most men to think I'm gay.

As for women, they exaggerate as well, but generally as a form of fantasizing not as a form of competition. I also have a lot more common interests with females than men, which makes it easier to relate.



binaryodes
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22 May 2014, 6:48 am

The strongest bonds ive had have been with girls oddly enough. I just dont know where the romance ends and friendship begins though so I feel a little edgy. I find that I dont really understand "manly men" at all but androgynes and I get on incredibly well. I consider myself to transcend gender and dont think of myself as either male or female.


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micfranklin
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22 May 2014, 9:46 am

Not that strange but I find myself talking to women over the phone more often than anyone else.



Mindslave
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22 May 2014, 12:26 pm

That's because men don't talk on the phone very long, at least not young men.



CyclopsSummers
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22 May 2014, 12:54 pm

Not necessarily. But the thing is that I tend to get along with both males/females who are a bit more on the 'gender-neutral' side of things. The crowds I hand out with are typically very queer and androgynous.

I cannot get along with guys who are macho. It's fire and water. Cats and dogs. It does not work. They hate me, and I resent them.

On most of my old workplaces, I got along fine with most of the older women there. They viewed me as kind of a lost little puppy, and I liked fulfilling the role of 'little brother'. I think it's because I tend to send off a 'non-agressive' vibe.


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Chernobyl
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22 May 2014, 2:46 pm

Yes, most of my friends are female. I feel it's because girls are known to be nicer than guys and aren't as aggressive. I can talk about more personal issues with girls where it would be awkward saying it to a guy. Girls also generally talk and socialize more than guys so I use that as compensation for my shyness.



Rodney00
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22 May 2014, 3:18 pm

to a point, yea, because in the past I wasn't into watching sports too much. I'm also into fashion, etc. Problem is that turned off many more girls than I ever really made friends with. And to make more girl friends, like pretty and fun ones, you need a social circle of your own sex. This is something I need to turn around at some point.



CJH123
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22 May 2014, 6:18 pm

100% I'v always gotten on better with girls mainly because they are way more in my view understand, accepting and emotional in general compared to guys, Most of my IRL friends have been girls and I just prefer their company and can talk with them about things as I Im not really interested in allot of guy stuff like sports or fights, mucking around etc. Also being a pretty effeminate guy adds to why I get on better with girls than guys.



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24 May 2014, 3:32 am

Girls seem to plain get along with other people better than guys do. At the same time, girls also are more prone to act "fake", so not to alarm you but there's a possibility that your friends are just playing nice.