Facing a Betrayal of sorts

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Ok, I hope this doesn't come across as rambling and/or whining. A couple weeks ago, a now former friend texted me that she didn't want to be my friend anymore because I "make her uncomfortable and creep her out". This was just after we discussed plans to meet before I move, then she said plans changed, meaning a probable excuse not to be around me. Now I had a feeling she never trusted me much because I've only seen her about a few times and we don't know each other too well besides what we've shared online, but I considered her a caring and understanding enough friend and even told her she's like a sister that I never had growing up, which is a bit over-the-top maybe but summed up some of my feelings. Still, she (and her boyfriend) was trusting enough to come to my birthday party last year, which was also the last time I saw her. Maybe the change or surfacing of her true feelings were due to me commenting and liking numerous of her pictures/posts on Facebook and Instagram, which she probably found a bit too flirty, but I was just being honest and complementing her beauty and such. That does sound like I had a crush on her, and yes I'll admit a bit but I had no intentions of getting with her or anything near extreme. She's already taken by a pretty cool guy who I sort of became friends with too.

Back to the recent activity, I sent her a long text that was honest but didn't attack her in any way. Still, she ignored it then blocked me on FB and IG a week later. I just consider that petty and immature behavior no matter what. I told her bf about the ordeal and he seemed cool about it despite saying he didn't know what's going on with her, but I have a feeling he's hiding something too.

Any advice on how I should approach this, or should I just leave her alone for a while?

It's probably best to leave her alone for more than a while. Like leave her alone permanently.

I know this sort of reaction from her is hurtful and feels childish. I've had similar reactions from the opposite sex. As soon as they catch wind of me liking them in any way other than platonic even if that non-platonic attraction isn't even strong or isn't really there, they often avoided me like the plague. It has happened still, even though I am married. You'd think that fact would be a clue to them that I am not some sort of "threat." It strikes me as being very childish when someone of the opposite sex avoids you or rejects you, like they think they are so great and so good, like they are better than you. They act like you are diseased because you like them. I cannot claim they are wrong for feeling this way though as I have felt uncomfortable myself when someone liked me and I didn't like them that way at all though I don't remember ever avoiding them or shutting them out. It can really hurt you though when someone does that.

That being said, it is usually best for a male to not compliment a girl his own age range on her appearance unless he is romantically interested in her; complimenting a girl on her appearance generally sends the message that the guy is sexually attracted to her. And some girls are paranoid about this and seem to think every guy who compliments them is making some sort of creepy advance on them. You did not mean it in a creepy way, but she took it that way. It is generally best not to like very many pictures of a girl you don't have a person to person, real-life interaction with regularly. If you want to express interest in another's posts or pictures but you don't see them very much in "real life", I suggest limiting it to a quarter or a third of what they post. It is not lying to refrain from commenting or liking a post when you like the post or picture. It is okay to refrain from telling that truth because often times, people don't want that sort of truth as it makes them wonder why you like them so much or are so interested when you have nearly no contact with them IRL and especially when they do not have the same level of interest or attraction for you. Also, it is not a truth that affects someone's health or well-being.

Leave her alone. She has already 'Creep-Zoned' you. She and her friends will likely see any attempt on your part to make contact with her as further evidence of your alleged 'creep-hood'.

Such reactions can only come from women with a narcissistic personality disorder.

I have had this happen before. Time to change facts? I don't know. Probably. One. There is the potential that this person is not lying. I do not know. I would assume so, and live your life. If they come for you, then 1. They are insane. 2. This is a bad idea.

Einstein's first wife did this. I do not repeat mistakes.

You came on too strong and didn't give her room to breathe.

You tried to show her how nice you are. Never try to show how nice you are. Be true to who you are

I would certainly count this as some *sort* of betrayal, however maybe she thinks you are the traitor. guys and gals being friends at all anyway doesn't compute. Obviously she's afraid you'd developed feelings for her; maybe the BF felt threatened romantically. In any case I am of the firm belief that guys and gals can't be friends (acquaintances sure, but out and out friends? nah). Having that belief will keep you out of troubles like this.

OP, regardless of what you have done or not done, this girl has shown herself to not be a suitable friend for you.

I agree with the others who have said you need to leave her alone. She has expressed her wishes, and you need to respect them.

As much as it hurts, be glad that she said something straight-out to you and didn't leave you wondering why all of a sudden she disappeared from your life. Her reasons may not be legitimate or have a good foundation, but that's what she is choosing to say as an explanation.

A true friend will work through conflict and, if you have done something wrong, will give you a chance to amend your ways. Someone who is not a real friend will act like this girl did and tell you "it's over" in a one-sided fashion, not even getting your input on the relationship. She has shown her true colors.

Thanks so much everyone and sorry if it seemed like I disappeared too long. I sent her one more text last month apologizing a bit but still thinking she's being unfair. She replied fairly kindly to stop texting and I just let her have the last word this time. However, I've just about successfully moved on from her and will learn from this mistake for anyone (girl or guy) in the future.

Good to hear from you, T1nd1v1dual. It has been a while. I am sorry this happened to you and glad you are able to pick up and move on. I know that's hard and there is a certain grieving process to this and that's okay. The good part is as you say that you can learn from this and not have an identical repeat the next time with someone else. And you are not bad or silly or any of those things you might think about yourself. I know that might sound childish or patronizing to say but sometimes we need to "hear" it from someone else and the whole thing might hit you again in a few years and you will see it differently with that time distance and it might hurt you again, so remember not to fault or hate yourself too much for it.

Thanks for the advice, I truly appreciate it. Funnily enough, I've been friends with her again on Facebook since last summer. We've gotten along pretty good with brief exchanges but I keep my distance much more and she definitely does the same and I don't take it personal if she ignores me, etc.

It's been an odd and chaotic year but certainly one full of learning experiences!