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GeorgeSmiley
Butterfly
Butterfly

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Joined: 30 Dec 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 14
Location: Southern California

07 Oct 2019, 1:50 pm

Quite literally how does one accomplish this?

I never get invited anywhere, I never get introduced to anyone, and going places alone isn't fun or all that socially acceptable. I feel like i'm trapped in a cycle of having no friends or relationships and no way to change that at all.



Mmamc
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 7 Oct 2019
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 2

07 Oct 2019, 2:05 pm

I don't get invited places etc but sometimes they'll be something that I just want to go to so will. I ask myself would I regret it if I didn't go and if the answer is yes I just go. I'm not going to miss out on stuff because people feel uncomfortable and to be honest, i wouldn't recognise it if I did.

I went to a Jeff Koons' exhibition on my own this year. Went on a camping holiday to Finland on my own and had a road trip across Spain visiting museums and palaces on my own. Let people worry about themselves.

I've met people through work, language classes and running. Inevitably I can't make relationships last but you never know what's going to happen. This is what I think anyway.



GeorgeSmiley
Butterfly
Butterfly

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Joined: 30 Dec 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 14
Location: Southern California

07 Oct 2019, 3:11 pm

I finally broke down and joined meetup. Always was afraid it would be full of weirdos, but Im trying to be more positive now. Has anyone ever gone to one of these alone? I was more comfortable showing up places with someone else, but thats really not a possibility for me currently.



Mona Pereth
Veteran
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Joined: 11 Sep 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,734
Location: New York City (Queens)

08 Oct 2019, 12:47 am

GeorgeSmiley wrote:
I finally broke down and joined meetup. Always was afraid it would be full of weirdos,

What do you mean by "weirdos," and why would that be bad?

You too are a "weirdo," after all, simply by virtue of being autistic (if indeed you are autistic; your profile doesn't say anything about that).

GeorgeSmiley wrote:
but Im trying to be more positive now.

That's good to hear.

GeorgeSmiley wrote:
Has anyone ever gone to one of these alone?

Yes.

GeorgeSmiley wrote:
I was more comfortable showing up places with someone else, but thats really not a possibility for me currently.

Go to groups that revolve around some topic or activity that is interesting to you in its own right, not just as a means of meeting people. If you're not interested in the group's main focus, whatever that might be, then you're unlikely to be able to bond with people there either.

Even if you are genuinely interested in the group's focus, be prepared for the likelihood that you will need to attend regularly for at least six or seven meetings before anyone deigns to notice you at all. And, even then, it will most likely be easier to make friends with fellow newcomers than with the old-timers. Alas, most people naturally tend to be cliquish unless they have a specific reason not to be.

If there's a support group for Aspie/autistic adults in your area, you should consider going to that group too.


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Peta
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 31 Aug 2019
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 172
Location: Pixie Hollow

08 Oct 2019, 6:45 am

I not have friends till mum talked me to go to painting class and then I meet people was scary but I less lonely now and have friends to talk painting and like it.



Rainbow_Belle
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 16 Jan 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 336
Location: Sydney

09 Oct 2019, 6:58 am

I hate being an introvert. It sucks having no friends.
I keep seeing all these goddamn memes that make introversion seem so cool and fun, like only nerds with beautiful minds have this deep affliction and they spend all their time reading Harry Potter or something like that... I'm not a misunderstood philosopher for wanting to be alone -- I'm just tired from people, no matter how great and fun they are. Being an introvert sucks and I wish I was born with an outgoing, extroverted personality. Extroverts have friendly, outgoing personalities and people want to be friends with them.