Would you find it difficult to share what you enjoy?

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Butterfly
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15 Sep 2020, 5:28 am

Would you find it difficult to share what you enjoy?

I know that there are some people with autism who really enjoy sharing their specific interests with others.
I am not one of those people at all.

I don't like it because :
First of all, it's not natural for me and I don't really know how to present it.
Secondly, because I know that I won't be able to learn anything more about my subjects of interest and I have some difficulties to explain things.

Furthermore, I have been asked what I like and each time I have answered, I have often been laughed at and made fun of my interests.
I know you can't please everyone and I have no problem with that, but the fact that they keep telling me that I like weird stuff or that they don't understand me makes me think there's no point in sharing but being ostracized even more.
Finally, I don't like that moment where I am asked to share what I do and I am unable to guess what the other person is thinking. Even if the person says « - I like what you do » , I don't know what to say because I don't want this moment to continue.

Still, I like people and I like to have a good time with them.
For example, I like to share a moment with someone in a museum or in a beautiful forest : discover new things with someone (not all new things, I’m not that curious).
But I don't understand this game of trying to get to know each other individually and inevitably, I don't enjoy it.
I've been living with someone for ten years and that person tells me that I'm still a stranger.



Steve1963
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15 Sep 2020, 5:31 am

Checkbox wrote:
Would you find it difficult to share what you enjoy?
.
.
.
Furthermore, I have been asked what I like and each time I have answered, I have often been laughed at and made fun of my interests.

I share very little about myself, including my special interests, for fear of being laughed at or of being thought of as weird.



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15 Sep 2020, 9:11 am

No, I like talking to and with people about my interests. Of course, I try to make sure that the situation is appropriate for it and that the other person is actually interested. Started paying even more attention to that after having an extremely frustrating date with a man who only talked about one thing that interested him that I had stated several times I had no interest in... of course, I listened a while out of politeness and asked a few questions, but even when I changed the subject, it somehow kept rounding back to it... but well, I suppose that it was a valuable lesson for me, a taste of my own medicine so to speak since I've often messed up and gotten in to lecture mode about my special interests.



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15 Sep 2020, 9:15 am

Checkbox wrote:
Would you find it difficult to share what you enjoy?
Yes, but only because I live in a world where most people would rather get drunk, argue, fight, and kill each other; and where hobbies like astronomy, amateur radio, and role-playing games are considered 'geeky' at best.


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15 Sep 2020, 11:56 pm

I always am afraid people will judge me negatively for my interests, so I'm usually very hesitant to bring them up. Except here where people probably understand the nature of "special interests."


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16 Sep 2020, 4:59 am

I'm not afraid of being judged negatively, I'm used to it.
I just find it boring, hopeless and sometimes it makes me sad because I isolate myself a lot from others.



Mountain Goat
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16 Sep 2020, 6:14 am

Checkbox wrote:
Would you find it difficult to share what you enjoy?

I know that there are some people with autism who really enjoy sharing their specific interests with others.
I am not one of those people at all.

I don't like it because :
First of all, it's not natural for me and I don't really know how to present it.
Secondly, because I know that I won't be able to learn anything more about my subjects of interest and I have some difficulties to explain things.

Furthermore, I have been asked what I like and each time I have answered, I have often been laughed at and made fun of my interests.
I know you can't please everyone and I have no problem with that, but the fact that they keep telling me that I like weird stuff or that they don't understand me makes me think there's no point in sharing but being ostracized even more.
Finally, I don't like that moment where I am asked to share what I do and I am unable to guess what the other person is thinking. Even if the person says « - I like what you do » , I don't know what to say because I don't want this moment to continue.

Still, I like people and I like to have a good time with them.
For example, I like to share a moment with someone in a museum or in a beautiful forest : discover new things with someone (not all new things, I’m not that curious).
But I don't understand this game of trying to get to know each other individually and inevitably, I don't enjoy it.
I've been living with someone for ten years and that person tells me that I'm still a stranger.


I have no problems sharing via talking about my special interests. Try and stop me! Haha! I do find it hard to share the special interest itself. I mean... As in posessions relating to it. (E.g. giving something I like to another person).
For me to give something relating to my special interest, I have to really like the person I am giving it to, or know they really need it. Somehow I want to hold onto everything which is a habbit I have been working on. I have too much in my collections (Two main special interests), and so it is easier for me to concentrate on specific things I like and then let go of the other things. In this way I can downsize a bit without letting go of the things I need and love.
I do occasionally make sacrifices in giving or selling something I love as I know others will love them as well. :) And I want others to love what I love too!

I will give an example. (At the moment things are on hold in my making things as I find an overload of stress effects my ability to use my hands and my ability to concentrate etc). I enjoy making my narrow gauge models. I want to make lots.Haha. (In my mind anyway!) In my mind I have plans. I can make lots but I only need so many. So I will keep so many and the others I can sell so I can make more and enjoy myself in making them. :) These are my plans and they are fun plans.


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Butterfly
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16 Sep 2020, 6:42 am

@mountain Goat :

I was checking your interests (to get some info about your interests) in your Profile and you wrote « nothing ».
May I ask why ?


I’m wondering if I’m struggling because of a kind of introversion.
I like writing about my interests, working in my interests but I don’t like to talk about.



kraftiekortie
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16 Sep 2020, 6:47 am

Mountain Goat is a great train enthusiast.

I think he likes bikes, too.

I’m “too much” into sharing what I enjoy.



Mountain Goat
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16 Sep 2020, 6:51 am

Checkbox wrote:
@mountain Goat :

I was checking your interests (to get some info about your interests) in your Profile and you wrote « nothing ».
May I ask why ?


I’m wondering if I’m struggling because of a kind of introversion.
I like writing about my interests, working in my interests but I don’t like to talk about.


I am a little scared of sharing too much about myself via online profiles. However I do love to share my hobbies. Any questions ask away! I am into model railways and bicycles. Mainly model railways.


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16 Sep 2020, 7:01 am

@kraftiekortie :

Do you have friends to share about your interests ?
I think the only way I'd enjoy sharing would be to create a blog about it, but I think I'd exhaust myself managing comments.

@Mountain Goat :

Why are you scared online ?



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16 Sep 2020, 7:08 am

Checkbox wrote:
@kraftiekortie :

Do you have friends to share about your interests ?
I think the only way I'd enjoy sharing would be to create a blog about it, but I think I'd exhaust myself managing comments.

@Mountain Goat :

Why are you scared online ?

I put a small amount of information as I just updated my profile.

I don't know how to protect myself online, so I tend to go over cautious.

Feel free to PM, but I may not reply for about an hour or two as I need to take my Mum shopping. :)


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kraftiekortie
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16 Sep 2020, 7:40 am

There are some people online who don't have the best interests of others at heart. They want to con them in some way. People have to be cautious about sharing personal information.

Actually, I have some acquaintances---but few friends. There are a couple who I could share my interests with. With many others, I have to stick to current events or pop culture.



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16 Sep 2020, 8:12 am

Yes, you're both right: it's a good point to be very careful. I've had some unpleasant experiences because I tended to lack control over what I was communicating.
(Sometimes I'm "too" curious, if I ask too many questions, don't hesitate to point it out to me).

Thanks for your feedback on the topic of sharing, it's cool to discover other perspectives.



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16 Sep 2020, 8:15 am

As long as you don't ask me about my near-bankruptcy, you're cool with me :wink:



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16 Sep 2020, 10:36 am

I am back. (Err I think).
I quickly updated my profile. I need to spend time and have a think what information to share and what not to share.. Any good so far? It is a little brief. Any questions I don't mind answering.

Krafty. I tend to be the same. Very few friends but lots of "People I know".


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