Who here has given up on a social life?

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Joe90
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01 Dec 2020, 3:09 pm

I sort of have but not completely. This pandemic has affected some of my friendships. I have a couple of friends (one Aspie, the other Fragile-X) who aren't into social media and aren't the sort to talk on the phone or text. So because I haven't been allowed to meet up with them this year I have kind of lost touch. I do try to hold the friendship above water by texting every now and then to see how they're doing but to be honest there's not much to talk about in 2020, as everybody's doing basically the same thing day in day out. One of my friends have been on furlough most of this year and hasn't been out only to the local supermarket.
I have another friend but she lives on her own and the pandemic has isolated her so much that she's become withdrawn from the world and has sunken into a deep depression, so she's not up to talking on the phone at all, and she doesn't do social media either.

Yep, this pandemic has really torn people apart. The only friends I'm closest to now are the people at work.


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Edna3362
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03 Dec 2020, 9:38 am

A post of 2015 wrote:
I gave up on social life just right after my last in-real life best friend from school no longer goes to the same school with me (2008). After the nasty experiences during her absence, I completely gave up and went online instead.

Right now, I'm not exactly interested or uninterested. I never thought about it at all because I'm simply satisfied this way.

5 years seem like an entirely different lifetime to me now. :o
If I didn't know any better, might as well ask who the heck wrote this under my own username... :lol:

To elaborate, the year 2008 was the time I had a major burnout, got depressed enough to practically quit school and almost not leaving the house for at least of 2 years worth of time.

Said friend mentioned -- met again, in complete happenstance, over 3 years ago.

:lol: It was just that another late afternoon walk on my way home from work.
She recognized me enough to call me from the streets, while she was in a car being refilled on a gas station I had been passing.

I responded as usual -- whenever someone call me -- like everyone I met since high school and up to now, I couldn't remember her well to bother her and left.
Maybe I was too tired to, maybe I actually didn't care at the time.

I recognized her days later too late.


If I can send a message to my past self; this very poster is 19, almost 20...


Still not interested having a social life -- but this time, both online or offline... :lol: :P

Still as satisfied, if not more.
But this doesn't mean I do not get bored enough to get involved in any one.


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dragonsanddemons
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03 Dec 2020, 10:19 am

I basically have since some point in junior high. After a couple years of depression and loneliness, I realized that I’m actually happiest alone.


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KT67
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04 Dec 2020, 6:35 pm

All my life (or at least since secondary school) it's been a case of 'friends add to my life but don't make or break it'.

Nasty people break it. I don't like when people are mean to me.

But being alone doesn't bother me. I enjoy both solitude and having friends/pleasant acquaintances.

Being around nice people is nice but it's hard to know when someone is a friend versus a pleasant acquaintance. If I was rebuilding society from scratch, there would be a process of saying 'do you want to be my friend' just like there's a process of asking for someone to be a bf/gf. Even as you get older that process of gf/bf changes and it becomes a thing where you only ask for someone's hand in marriage and turn the rest into 'do you want to go for coffee'. Too vague for me tbh.


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1986
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04 Dec 2020, 7:12 pm

I used to think I'd be better off with no social contact, so I endeavoured to see if it was true. On the contrary, I ended up quite sad and frustrated. For many years I filled my life with "things", "experiences", "accomplishments", to see if it was better than "people", "friends", "family". I came to the conclusion that although I am thoroughly socially incompetent, I'd rather be bad at it and persist to make connections with people, than live in a empty life of things.

Bit by bit I'm picking up my social life again, and although I never expect to wake up with a hundred new messages in my phone, a decent social life is worth more than any thing I can collect, or experience or knowledge I can put in my head.



auntblabby
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04 Dec 2020, 10:28 pm

i'm the only person who groks me. :alien:



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12 Dec 2020, 11:40 am

I suppose I gave up on having any footprint of a social life mainly because my social anxiety got too bad again. I am so far in my comfort zone that this anxiety is likely to stay for a long while.
Despite this, I have really enjoyed spending a lot of time on my own. It's very comforting and drama-free.



Rocket123
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12 Dec 2020, 4:50 pm

I had a limited social life pre-Covid (I have very few friends).

With Covid, my social life is essentially non-existent.



funeralxempire
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12 Dec 2020, 5:24 pm

I'm ungiving up. If I can charm over someone who by all intents and purposes should view me as not suitable I can probably make friends with people too. Even if socializing is stressful, sitting in my room moping isn't gonna make me feel any better.


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Jakki
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12 Dec 2020, 5:30 pm

Covid equals no RL socialization ,


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funeralxempire
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12 Dec 2020, 5:37 pm

Jakki wrote:
Covid equals no RL socialization ,


I work with several thousand other people who are all forced to socialize IRL on a daily basis. Clearly I can socialize on Saturday with the same people I socialized with M-F.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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12 Dec 2020, 9:45 pm

gave up a long time ago

not worth cost benefit analysis



Jakki
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12 Dec 2020, 10:28 pm

The. Juice ain’t worth the Squeeze .


?


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Dial1194
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15 Dec 2020, 10:40 am

Never had one. I did make vague attempts at starting one at various times, but I could never find sufficient interest or drive to keep any kind of social relationship active. I just never got anything out of it that was worth even a fraction of the effort involved.



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15 Dec 2020, 10:44 am

I have given up on meeting people with the same interests in Houston (because there aren't any).

For years, I have planned to relocate to Seattle to meet people with said interests, but the high cost of living there is keeping that from happening. Instead of doing something I enjoy, I am looking for work that pays at least $100,000/year in order to live there, even if it's something I hate. Seattle was my third choice, after being priced out of NYC and the Bay Area.


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Summer_Twilight
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15 Dec 2020, 11:11 am

Though I believe social skills are important, I am through being told to
1. Work on my social skills
2. Socialize more

All the while, the other party refuses to bend while I am on the one who has to bend over backward for them. Sometimes, you have to learn to be your own friend and talk to yourself in the mirror.

"Hey, what do you want to do today?" Then you take yourself to do the things you enjoy.